AIBU to think DH’s joke after my car crash was inappropriate?

[Laulau3]

Someone went in to the back of my car earlier today when I was returning from nursery drop off. I was in traffic, so no harm done to me, but the car obviously needs some repairs. The man driving stopped and was apologetic and we swapped details.

I called DH and after checking I was okay, he ‘joked’ that ‘he has had more luck than me over the years in smashing your back doors in’. I told him I didn’t see the funny side.

He messaged me later to say I’m being uptight and to get a sense of humour.

There’s a time and a place, surely?

You were upset following an accident. He made a fairly tasteless sexualised joke about it which you found upsetting and told him that.

The only reasonable response from him would be an apology. He clearly isn't reasonable or empathetic.

Are there other ways in which he dismisses your feelings? Is he ever supportve when you are struggling?

Just message him back 'Ok, let's start with me pegging you. Then I'll get a better understanding if it hurts and I want to let you "smash my backdoors in".'

See how his sense of humour is with that joke! And when he doesn't find it funny, tell him to unclench!

Disgusting.

I would find it tasteless and misogynistic whether or not I'd just had a car crash.

"Smash my back doors in?" Get to fuck.

Wtf he sounds like a knob.

I see the ‘cool girls’ are out in force tonight 🙄

It may have been a minor accident, but it’s still stressful and all the hassle of insurance and repairs etc.

I didn't say that. I think you're referring to another poster.

I'd find that hilarious tbh 🤣 but then im not uptight lol

He sounds like an absolute wanker. Even a small traffic incident is unpleasant and unsettling at best. You may have had soreness in your neck and back yet he thinks thinks is a good time to make a crass unfunny joke?

he sounds like an inconsiderate prick.

hope your car gets fixed ok and that you aren’t bruised or hurt. Not sure what to do about your husbands cunty behaviour alas.

Generalisations?

Like how P smell?

And n*** are rapists?.

And Y* are deceitful?

Those kind of "generalisations"?

Why are you trying to minimise the loathsome hateful racism of that loathsome hateful racist man?

I grew up in the 1970s and remember he was frequently on TV then. It was pretty derogatory stuff if you were not a white man.

I don’t think the joke is funny personally, but the thing that would make me the most mad is that when you said you didn’t appreciate the joke, he dismissed you instead of just apologising.

No I'm just really immature 😂

I wouldn't have liked that either, what an insensitive prick.

I would have replied with something about him not getting my front doors for the foreseeable either!!! It’s a bit of a crude joke but if you don’t like that humour it’s not funny.

There’s a time and a place, surely?

Is your only objection to the joke the timing? If so, I think you are unreasonable, as it doesn’t sound like a situation that needs particular sensitivity.

If your objection is to a crass sexual joke, then YANBU. I’d assume your husband would know you don’t like that sort of humour, particularly made at your expense.

It’s annoying to call anyone who doesn’t agree with you a “cool girl’ though. People are allowed different opinions.

Sorry, under the circumstances, I think your husband’s comment was quite funny.

Gross

The circumstance of your wife having a car crash is the perfect time to make an unoriginal joke about anal sex? Strange world you live in.

Ah tell him the man who bumped your rear knew how to do it in style lol

Hardly a crash.

Someone went in the back of her!

I guess I’m giving credit where I think it’s due.

His diction and timing were good. I think he would have rejected the OP’s husband’s weak material.

1970s (and previous) racism was bad. There was a time I thought it was getting better: maybe 20 years ago.

I think racism is getting worse now.

It's like they do the obligatory "are you ok" get that out the way so they can do their crappy little inappropriate "hilarious" joke they can't wait to do.

God sometimes I hate men, and I'm usually defending them.

Ewwww

What we can take from this is many people don’t have a sense of humour…

if I’m reading correctly his first concern was if she was ok, then lightened the mood with a joke? Assuming they had been together a while she would already know his humour?

don’t think he actually suggested anal sex at the time…

what’s happened to the world we live in?