AIBU to think DH’s joke after my car crash was inappropriate?

[Laulau3]

Someone went in to the back of my car earlier today when I was returning from nursery drop off. I was in traffic, so no harm done to me, but the car obviously needs some repairs. The man driving stopped and was apologetic and we swapped details.

I called DH and after checking I was okay, he ‘joked’ that ‘he has had more luck than me over the years in smashing your back doors in’. I told him I didn’t see the funny side.

He messaged me later to say I’m being uptight and to get a sense of humour.

There’s a time and a place, surely?

I must admit this made me laugh out loud but only because it’s such a mad thing to say to your wife in this context?! You are not being unreasonable. I just asked my DH and he said “it’s totally unacceptable” (his first contribution on mumsnet!). Sorry OP xxx

Yes, his crass ineptitude is what’s funny.

In the 1980s Comedy Store and the new wave of Alternative Comedians spelt the beginning of the end for the likes of Bernard Manning, Roy Chubby Brown and Jim Davidson.

A joke in relation to a minor prang wouldn’t have bothered me (unless it had been a slight on my driving. Too soon)
A joke about anal - bore off man child

I wouldn’t be offended if my husband said this but you’re not me and if you’re offended then you’re offended. No point asking what other people think, if everyone says one thing it won’t stop you feeling that way. Just tell him you don’t ever want to hear that type of thing again

As someone else has pointed out, it wasn’t a car crash as such - another driver went into the back of the OP’s car. After he had checked she was ok, the OP’s husband then made a joke, which I think would have lightened the mood and made most people in the real world chuckle.

Or that people have different senses of humour.

Correct

We're all familiar with lad humour but I thought men were smart enough to keep that kind of chat between their mates. Apparently not!

You don’t think your partner is also a ‘mate’? Not allowed jokes in the relationship?

surely the op must have known his sense of humour if they have been together years?

That's revolting with or without the crash. .

The “alternative” lot took over a lot of the airtime and I enjoyed a lot of it.

R C Brown never had much of a TV presence, so far as I remember. Very popular live and on video though.

Davidson was more unfunny than he was offensive, which was not the effect he wanted to have!

Being nagged about an unwanted sexual act isn’t humour..it's tiny penis energy..trying to get over on someone who just had an accident and needed support

Its a clear micro aggression by a micro penis

You can't be mates with your husband/partner??

I guess some people like unoriginal crass jokes at inappropriate moments, but most people, especially women, don’t.

I don’t think it has anything to do with something happening ‘to the world we live in’, unless it is that people feel less pressured into laughing along with crap like this for fear of looking like they ‘don’t have a sense of humour’.

If my DH every spoke to me like that he would be looking for a new home.

Nagged?? Where did that get mentioned?

thats right. Nowhere.

and now her bloke has a small penis, how did you come to this conclusion?

Oh for goodness sake, the man made one poor taste joke. There is zero evidence that he has been nagging about wanting anal sex.

It could equally be argued that making comments about micro penis are in poor taste, considering it is an actual medical condition. But I guess mocking that is OK because it can only happen to a man?

I think we can tell exactly how bad you think his racism was when you're going out of your way to praise his fucking diction.

If my dh made that "joke", car crash or not, I'd think it was grim and have a go at him.

@history505 if anything men now get away with more inappropriate jokes. Can you imagine a bloke from the 50s making a joke like that to a woman!

I was going to make the point that women in general don't like jokes like that but then I thought I'd get jumped on by so many women telling me they love this kind of thing! I really find that hard to believe. I mean I love the Inbetweeners as much as the next person but it's just not something I want in a partner, sorry! If other women are happy to settle for that then more power to them I guess...

The bloke on the thread saying "what's happened to the world we live in" about it is inadvertently really funny though!

Woo hoo that was me, that bloke!!

so you like the humour of the inbetweners but don’t understand the humour in real life?

many many females on here have said they think it’s funny but you only reply to the man’s reaction? Says a fair bit that does ☺️

Cringy “joke” from your tasteless DH, but also you’re overreacting as presumably you know this is his sense of humour.

No one is saying it wasn't stressful but creating a mumsnet post about his joke is also OTT.

No soreness in the bumhole though and not likely to be any in the future. In fact any more crass remarks from the DH and he’ll be wanking into a sock for the rest of his life.