AIBU to think DH’s joke after my car crash was inappropriate?

[Laulau3]

Someone went in to the back of my car earlier today when I was returning from nursery drop off. I was in traffic, so no harm done to me, but the car obviously needs some repairs. The man driving stopped and was apologetic and we swapped details.

I called DH and after checking I was okay, he ‘joked’ that ‘he has had more luck than me over the years in smashing your back doors in’. I told him I didn’t see the funny side.

He messaged me later to say I’m being uptight and to get a sense of humour.

There’s a time and a place, surely?

It’s good that he’s cheerful after car damage, but his jokes are rubbish.

Bernard Manning was good at his job.

A joke made to the woman who is his life partner and the mother of his child(ren) about the fact that he's been unlucky in trying to have anal sex with her.

Anal sex that he refers to as 'smashing your back doors in'.

Just after she's been involved in a car accident.

How funny is that joke when you really think about it?

Grotty.

There isn't a time or place where that "joke" would be either acceptable, appropriate or funny. Does he often talk to you like that?

Really gross. That joke would give me the ick at any time tbh.

It depends on the person id laugh and say yeah gonna stay that way but again it really depends on you. I do see why you would have thought not the right time to be cracking that joke

Grim "joke" at any time.

His job as a sexist racist foul mouthed crude comedian from the 1970s.

Fine to try to lighten the mood with a joke, but grim taste in humour 😳

This.

YABU being offended also. It's grim but I have a hard time believing a man who makes a joke like that that it comes out of the blue. You must know this is part of his humour.

It wasn't funny though, unless derivative misogyny is what passes for humour in your world

Perhaps you should have a look at husbands friends. Suggest he culls a few.
When he asks why tell him, they are infecting his mind and you're not enthused by the prospect of catching this kind of humour, especially with dc.

Unless it's his internet watching habits that's fueling these poor taste jokes.
Men and their jokes...is there anything more tedious. I suggest get one if those Duck whistles I. Case anymore naff jokes are sent yr way.

Does no one joke with their husbands anymore??

I'd have laughed at that!

Someone went into my rear on a roundabout, I even said myself I'd been taken up the rear on the roundabout - there is a subway underneath - to which my mate said, you're not the first you won't be the last!

How is that relevant? It doesn't make him any less offensive

Sure its poor taste, but I would take it in the likely intended spirit - trying to inject some levity into a difficult day.

I came home after a colonoscopy, my husband, asked if it had paved the way, we both laughed, and got on with our day!

No drama, no offense, just two adults who can take a joke.

That's not remotely similar.

He's a twat. Did he really expect you to find it funny?

My husband said it as well, said the driver had more luck than he had over the years, we laughed, we got on with our day!

Has he had any luck since 😉

Haha no!

I'd be shocked and astounded if dh said that to me under any circumstances.

Not in a pearl clutching way. Although it's a pretty disgusting way to speak
I know people do and I've heard worse without fainting away, but dh just doesn't talk that way and if he did I'd think he'd had some type of neurological event.
So no, you are not being at all unreasonable.

He didn't refer to it as "smashing your back doors in" though, did he?

Well, in my experience even a small prang can be upsetting, unnerving and shake your confidence. I must be getting old, because I’d be properly pissed off (and shocked) of my man came out with his kind of bull-shittery. All your DH had to do was check you and DC weren’t hurt, be supportive/make sympathetic noises. End of. Where the fuck does “let’s use this an opportunity for a joke about my frustrated overtures toward anal sex” come into it?! The mind boggles.

Is your DH watching a lot of porn? Does he have a shit fetish? Does he have a penis that is so small that it gains insufficient friction within a standard vagina? Or is he just a bellend with a teenage sense of humour? My vagina (and anus) would clamp shut at this ill-timed attempt at ‘humour’.

Is he normally such a monumentally thoughtless, embarrassment of a man, OP, or is this an uncharacteristic blip?

No, but the sentiment was the same, it was a joke, we laughed, none of us got offended and we went on with our day