AIBU to think DH’s joke after my car crash was inappropriate?

[Laulau3]

Someone went in to the back of my car earlier today when I was returning from nursery drop off. I was in traffic, so no harm done to me, but the car obviously needs some repairs. The man driving stopped and was apologetic and we swapped details.

I called DH and after checking I was okay, he ‘joked’ that ‘he has had more luck than me over the years in smashing your back doors in’. I told him I didn’t see the funny side.

He messaged me later to say I’m being uptight and to get a sense of humour.

There’s a time and a place, surely?

Only opened this today and about 7 posts down there it is... my first brainless misandrist of the day. Got to love this site.

OP, chill, it was a joke and quite off the cuff by the sound of it, so yes, funny.

I think your lucky to have a hilarious, quick witted husband 😂

DO you consensually indulge in that particular practice?

Unclench your buttocks.

You've just stated your under 40 I'm almost 46 and it's definitely something alot of people I know would call great banter she wasn't hurt he made sure she was OK 1st it's something to lighten the mood. SO GLAD I GREW IP IN THE ERA I DID 🙄 THEY ALL HAD A SENSE OF HUMOUR AND GOOD BANTER AND WERNT SO SENSITIVE

Curled Kate yes thanks have met plenty of nice men. O

Yes.

I'm not the one who's had a car accident, though. Strange comment.

‘he has had more luck than me over the years in smashing your back doors in’.

This is passive aggressive behaviour isn't it? The using of a 'joke' to have a dig.
He's suggesting he wanted anal sex but it's been refused. He takes the opportunity to have a dig using an aggressive term..

OP sees it as a dig, not a joke and so it's not funny to her.
He tells her she's uptight and should get a sense of humour.

I sort of associate that kind of behaviour with controlling/abusive men I've known.

He might not have meant it like that. Perhaps the 'over the years' comment was part of some throwaway joke (??)

But it surprises me how many posters don't even see a hint of red flag there.

He's suggesting he wanted anal sex but it's been refused. He takes the opportunity to have a dig using an aggressive term...

It surprises me how many posters don't even see a hint of red flag there.

Exactly this. I can't imagine someone making a remark like that out of the blue to their wife if there wasn't a bit of background to it, and yet the posters siding with this oaf seem to think that drawing this conclusion is an overreaction?

It would depend on if he always minimized everything that was told to him. My ex would make jokes like this all the time, which was quite mean in my opinion. If its only every once in a while I wouldn't care.

How pathetic.

I'm genuinely surprised so many women wouldn't have a problem with this. I mean it's MN where any hint of misogyny is jumped on but this is fine? Really? And yes I know it's a joke and not literal, that's beside the point.

Oh I know isn’t it……I can’t imagine living such a pathetic boring life that I get offended so easily

What on earth are you on about?

But it surprises me how many posters don't even see a hint of red flag there

Likewise. This doesn't pass as 'banter' in my world.

I wouldn’t be surprised to hear those of you finding his joke so horrendous are dried up old bats who refuse their OH’s sex altogether and probably done nothing more than missionary

Another poster suggested it was people under 40 who found the term vulgar
and disrespectful and dried up old prunes who could 'have a laugh'

I think it's just some people find the term repugnant regardless of age or libido.

Oooooh! Crass! I don’t like that at all ,very insensitive. I not surprised you gave him a sharp retort. Tell him you don’t need a sense of humour. He needs to grow up and get some sense!

But it's not a joke. It's just a disgusting comment.

wtf is this whole ‘cool wives’ or ‘cool girls’ crap - because people don’t agree with you? LTB op. How dare he say something so stupid.

I agree. Even a minor bump would give you an adrenaline surge and crash, leaving you feeling a bit wobbly and low. The fact he told her she’s “”uptight” on the Same Day!! What a thoughtless scumbag.

James Spader was insanely hot in that movie.

spader is better in stargate