Is this illegal?

[CarlStoleMyUnderpants]

Discovered someone is cheating on his wife and have contacted two of his siblings to tell them so they can surreptitiously investigate and look out for the wife. I can't prove it as it would be hearsay, but I hoped they'd try and look at his devices or keep an ear out to gain evidence. Have I gone too far? I absolutely know this is happening.

I didn't know she wasn't in contact with him when I got in touch with her.

….for example.

of course!

So what do you expect her to do now then?

Are you shitting yourself in case this comes back on you?

The trouble with saying it isn't slander because it's true is that you don't have any proof of what you're saying. Truth is only a useable legal justification for slander in court if you can prove it. So while you may have the moral high ground, in a court you could still be at risk.

It's not malicious communication. For that your intent must be to cause distress to the recipient, which it obviously isn't in this case.

Bit silly to post on mumsnet if so.

What's motivating me is fairness.

There's nothing fair about a busybody trying to create secret circles and sow discord within the family around people she doesn't know in the hope they'll lay a successful entrapment plan to satisfy her.

You could hire a PI to follow him, take photographs, provide the evidence and then you could present it to the wife. If you're really that bothered about her knowing.

Or you could go to the Mexican Discotheque at 7.30 next Thursday and photograph him yourself. You might need a disguise though.

No. I was only concerned about the malicious communication aspect. I'm so pissed off with my friend for doing it I'm not bothered about that, though it's a shame to lose a 20+ year friendship over a snake of a man.

It’ll be what the OP actually did to get that proof that would be questionable.

What’s to lose though? Shed that skin!

This.

I could disguise myself as the son of a motherless goat, I guess.

Then the OP states to the wife that although she doesn't physically have the evidence herself she has actually seen something that proves he's having an affair.

😁

Well, you don't have to. If she's a good friend and has proved her character in other ways, you might decide that good people can do bad things and you can love her while hating what she's doing and refusing to hear about it. Or you can ditch her. Your call.

But your relationship with her is the only one here that's any of your business.

I can't get proof, other than getting the APs phone and forwarding things to myself, which would be illegal and also offensive material, or taking pictures if I know where they are. But I'm not Robin Ellacott so I wouldn't be very good at it.

Well, your friend obviously isn't who you thought she was. Tough situation, but it's one that's entirely of her own making.

No it's not illegal to contact someone you don't know once to give them what you believe is truthful information. But if you were to keep contacting them when they've either ignored you or told you to stop it could go into the realms of harassment.

Are you the side peice and you want her man.

😂

She thinks she's racier and sexier than the wife, which is what makes me fume, the woman has brought up his family.

Have you had a look at the act? It covers none of the actions you’ve mentioned so not illegal. Unless perhaps you’ve included some very explicit details of sex acts?

Try reading the thread, then you will get your answer.