Is this illegal?

[CarlStoleMyUnderpants]

Discovered someone is cheating on his wife and have contacted two of his siblings to tell them so they can surreptitiously investigate and look out for the wife. I can't prove it as it would be hearsay, but I hoped they'd try and look at his devices or keep an ear out to gain evidence. Have I gone too far? I absolutely know this is happening.

No, I wouldn't continue to contact them if they told me to stop communication nor would I follow up if they didn't reply.

Ah, nicely dropped, so this the next rendezvous place?

What time will all turn up?

I've not done anything like that no, just given a heads up. I've not even named the AP. There may be more than one for all I know.

Crikey. What to do now then?

One of the weirdest things I've read on here.

I misread at first, thinking you told everything to her siblings. That's odd enough. But HIS sibs? What...

If someone told me such about my brother, I'd go straight to him, tell him what I know, and advise him to delete all the evidence, cover his tracks better/prepare a good cover story, if he still wants to stay with his wife. My loyalties lie with my brother; I don't give a shit about his wife. One day she's the wife, next day he might have another, I really wouldn't care.

i dont think its illegal to say to anyone that you think someone is cheating.
How do you know this man is cheating?
Do you have evidence to prove he is cheating?
Why did you choose to tell this mans brothers rather than his wife or the man himself ?

What are you doing on mumsnet!

😀

Not sure why you are tagging me, I asked if you were the affair person at 14:19 when you were still being very vague and unclear.

You since clarified it is your friend.

I can’t prove it as it would be hearsay

You are not proving something in a court of law!

If you don’t know the man very well, how did you get contact details for his siblings?

So you don’t know the husband and you barely know the wife but you know the women he’s having the affair with very well?

Seriously though, I do see your point here.
I'd be pretty furious if a friend of mine was having an affair with a married person, to me it's just not the done thing.

They should either get together openly and stop making the wife look stupid, for want of a better word there, or your friend after 4 years really needs to wake up and realise she's just his sloppy second and end the relationship herself.

Fair enough then. It's not illegal. Why did you think it would be illegal to contact someone? How would anyone ever communicate?

Maybe the wife already knows and doesn’t care. Some women want to stay married but don’t want a physical relationship.

Reading through all the OP's posts in this thread, I'm pretty sure that their concerns about illegality probably stem from the fact that there is a hell of a lot more to this story - specifically about her own behaviour - than she's letting on.

Put it this way, I wouldn't be surprised if another thread popped up at some point along the lines of 'A distant acquaintance of mine has become convinced that my husband is cheating on me and her behaviour towards him has now reached the point where it could be construed as stalking. She's devoted hours and hours of her life to trying to prove he's cheating, including contacting his siblings - she's never even met him, let alone them. AIBU to speak to the police now?'

I get the impression OP is a bloke,

No it’s not illegal but yes you are unreasonable. You should confront the man in question yoursef.

Do you always make important based on what mumsnet will ‘like’?

Not nice behaviour but nothing to do with you .

@BauhausOfEliott I agree with this.

Though also... OP i feel like you've read a book with a plot revolving around slander, hearsay and malicious communication and totally misunderstood what any of it means. Unless you've written any of it down (probably in a national newspaper) when it becomes libel, then slander is almost impossible to prove in the UK. Malicious communication, meanwhile, is also extremely rare (fewer than 1,000 cases last year I think) and almost entirely relates to social media.

NONE of this is relevant for what you are talking about. Gossip, is the word you are missing. Unless you have proof, it's just gossip. You don't even know what's on this guys phone, do you? He might have deleted any evidence whatsoever (if it exists).

I'm not sure I fancy the Mexican Discotheque, but the White Bear at Tunbridge Wells sounds OK.

Does it do food and cask ales? are dogs allowed in?

Does the Mexican Discotheque allow dogs ? ( maybe only chihuahua's? )

This is all very strange.

you are friends with the AP, yes? How do you know the man? How do you know his wife?
why did you decide to go to his siblings, instead of her?

I once went to my friend and told her my concerns that I thought her husband was having an affair. There was no smoking gun, I said that from the outright, but a fair bit of circumstantial evidence

it didn’t cross my mind to go to anyone but the person involved tbh, so I can’t quite understand your logic.

CarlStoleMyUnderpants
Is it really any of your business?
Am getting serious "Mrs Doyle" from "Father Ted" comedy sitcom vibes at all this
Remember the road to hell is paved with "good intentions"
And the siblings may hate the wife and not care anyways
So why would they??

Instead of all the cloak and dagger-ness about this why don’t you just message the wife, give her your friends address and tell her to go round and speak to her to get the truth, unless your friend would lie and say l have never heard of him, which l don’t think she would because she will think it’s her chance to get her man (although not a very good man she is obviously into him). I imagine if the sibling he is in not in contact with speaks to either him/wife they will make it out to be trouble making rather than truth. I imagine the truth will out somehow anyway and since your not friends you aren’t going to hurt your and the wife’s friendship. So why not just tell her.

I really can't understand why you are so invested in this. Are you going round like a latter day witch finder general rooting out so called guilty parties? Is something lacking in your life?

The only illegal part would be if it wasn’t true and you were accused of making slanderous comments but I believe that’s a civil matter 🤷‍♀️