Is this illegal?

[CarlStoleMyUnderpants]

Discovered someone is cheating on his wife and have contacted two of his siblings to tell them so they can surreptitiously investigate and look out for the wife. I can't prove it as it would be hearsay, but I hoped they'd try and look at his devices or keep an ear out to gain evidence. Have I gone too far? I absolutely know this is happening.

Jesus. The ‘fall out’ lies squarely on the husbands shoulders - you know, the one that’s married and is actually doing something to harm his family? Not the OP.
You are seriously projecting on the OP here.

I'm not projecting anything. She doesn't know the man and she vaguely knew the wife. She's contacted two siblings to ask them to gather evidence -when she says she already knows evidence

She's chosen to insert herself in a situation that had nothing to do with her

If you really care about anyone in the equation then go to them directly. Don’t bring siblings into it because they now have the burden of knowing and being expected to do what you’re too scared to do.

You’re making it into more of a drama than it was before. The “friend” won’t stop so cut ties, then go to either the husband or wife if you want (wife makes more sense) or just stay out of it

@CarlStoleMyUnderpants You still haven't said how you know the man's siblings if you don't know him...

She doesn't know them apparently

Or how she found his and his siblings names and contact details

I would suspect Facebook.

It’s really easy with social media.

I'm still a bit stunned by the avalanche of vitriol against OP.

I suspect we are Othering her so as to reassure ourselves that we are most certainly not curtain-twitching gossips... whereas we clearly are, or let's face it we wouldn't be here!

Stay out of it. 🤷‍♀️

I think that even if it were possible, very few of us would be seeking out OP's family and contacting them to get them to scheme and snoop around OP to stop her doing what we disapprove of.

It's a God given right to waste time on the internet. Actual real life intrusion into marriages and families that are none of your business is next level.

If my sil or bil got a message about their brother (my husband) cheating they’d either ignore it or close ranks around him and not tell me 🤣
I don’t get what you thought you would achieve tbh?

There's more to this. The OP hasn't told where they found the siblings (unless I missed it). I'm not sitting here curtain twitching. The point is. They have a tenuous link to the wife and are friends with theaffair partner as they put it. The siblings have nothing to do with any of this

And sometimes women do know when they are being cheated on and just put on the face for the outside world

Why add drama to your own life?

@Beachtastic I asked originally if what I had done regarding contact was illegal. That was all. It appears that it is not.

I've been asked question after question and asked to explain myself to posters over and over again and reminded if I haven't answered their questions, including how I know this man's siblings, how I know his wife, how well I know his wife, all that kind of thing. Which, of course, I don't have to answer. Also accused of wanting to get one over on my friend, which doesn't make sense. I've been accused of having too much time on my hands, wasting energy, being a reverse, being a man, being the affair partner, trying to get him to leave and come running to me, disliking my friend because I referred to her as an "affair partner" at the outset instead of my friend, as I hadn't actually said "a married man is shagging my friend" or words to that effect, not giving a stuff about the cheated wife, being a coward for not going straight to the wife (when I would be accused of blowing her life up if I had), not having the bottle to use my real name, of there being "more to this".

Lots of assumptions, projections and so on. Why can't people just ask questions and listen to the answers, instead of throwing accusations?

Final update.

I have deleted the message to the brother, who has never seen it. It was never opened. The sister actually thanked me for getting in touch. I have spoken to her in the past, before any of this so she knows who I am. She said she doesn't have anything to do with the cheating brother, because of his inappropriate behaviour with other women and disturbing content on his social media. She MAY speak to her sister in law with whom she has not cut contact, and see if she has any concerns about her marriage, without saying some random weirdo/stalker/nutcase contacted her out of the blue when she doesn't know her from Adam. I was trying to test the water. The sister is unhappy about her sister in law being cheated on and made to look a fool.

So far, no harm has been done. Not that anyone is aware of.

I don't feel that my friend and I are on the same page about relationships, so this would probably have tailed off eventually.

Lots of energy wasted on this post, I guess. Clearly have too much time on my hands.

Oh stop it!

Actually I know that relationships are complex so I wouldn’t stick my nose in, especially if I didn’t have the nerve to tell the wife directly.

I genuinely still don’t understand why you didn’t go to the wife’s family since you say you wanted someone to look out for her.

You aren't the victim. And if you feel the need to justify yourself so much, that's telling.

Guy is clearly an arsehole, there are plenty of them, sadly. Your friend is probably more likely to break it off if she's got support to see her through it, but you're not obliged to do it if you don't want to. If she insists on continuing this affair with such a turd, she'll get the entirely predictable wasted time and heartache. She makes her terrible choices. Sister already knew he was a shit, so you haven't made any difference there. Affairs don't always get found out but they usually do when people are so indiscreet about them. I feel horrible for the poor blameless wife for when it happens, but since you don't know her in any meaningful sense, you wouldn't be there to support her anyway. Chances are she already knows.

In short, this is none of your business and you aren't close enough to any of these people to be meddling; you have no support or positive contribution to make. Leave them all alone.

Maybe you should have kept this offline and minded your business in the first place. Just a thought

I’m guessing she didn’t have access to them on Facebook

So basically nothing has changed, the affair continues and the ow, brother and sister don't care any more, maybe the wife knows and doesn't care either.