to call of my wedding...

[SmallShips]

As my partner has pooed himself in public, infront of his work mates, after one too many. I am revolted, absolutely revolted..

...and how those winter nights will fly by when you're old and grey, reminising about nights like this.

LOL. Someones giving an ELF away in the for free section. SS you cheeky girl ....

Just dont let him drink at the wedding! Cant think of anything worse!

When is the wedding SS?
do you have enought time to get over the revulsion?

i dont think i have ever laughed so much at a thread

i would be seriously shat pissed off at dp though

lol jessie now that would warrant annulment

11th July is the wedding! I may need counselling before hand

Don't call it off, but do make sure that on the day he doesn't wear tails as that way you'll be able to keep an eye on his arse as you walk up the aisle. Any sign of seepage and it's straight back into the limo for you. By the same token make sure he doesn't wear a kilt.

Question Time is coming from Portsmouth next week so for god sake don't let the Elf loose in town !

just seen the for free section lol. Free to regular mumsnetter- soiled elf pants gag. Any takers?

I would suggest the tails as at least if he does shit himself no one will see the "package"!

rocking at the thought of poo parcels scattered down the aisle

Well if he is from Portsmouth and a squaddie then it is possible that his sphincter has been weakend by too many times with the regimental broomhandle up the bum on a Friday night, and you are looking at a lifetime of waking up with a skidmarked thigh.
Alternatively, it could be that one of his friends either a) made the story up to frighten you or b)spiked his drink with a laxative: some men think that kind of thing is a really funny stag night joke.

hes a sailor madamez. Im hoping for a better reason for the pooing though, rather than just very drunk! Ive just asked if they have made it up, they are in the process of sending a picture message with the proof! I do not intend to open it. Am hoping the picture is of when it 1st happend and hes not wandering around still soiled.... urgh its all to disgusting.

lol lol lol smallships

we NEED to see that picture

you owe it tp the mumsnet morale

'Am hoping the picture is of when it 1st happend and hes not wandering around still soiled.... '

i would love to post it, to humiliate him, but i cant face looking at it... i can only imagine the horror.

Please.

Please!

YABU. One day he'll see you open your bowels as you give birth to your and his baby. What would you think if he thought that was revolting and wanted to get a divorce because of it?

Seashell, he's not giving birth, he's pissed. there's a difference.
This thread has had me weeping with laughter

So he is still out & about as we
speak???

Mumsnetters of Portsmouth you have a mission.........

he did see my "open my bowels" through giving birth to his DD, difference is, i was on a bed pushing out said DD for 40mins, not pissed in a pub dressed as an elf. There is a BIG difference i think.

yes hes still out, really, really, hoping hes had the sense to get changed and wipe himself down.

snigger

Noope but he hasn't!!

Wondering if they have CCTV in Portsmouth & who could we bribe to see it??!

lol, i would post the pic, but im afraid it will come back to haunt me.. and i shall be forever known as the mrs of the shitting elf.