to call of my wedding...

[SmallShips]

As my partner has pooed himself in public, infront of his work mates, after one too many. I am revolted, absolutely revolted..

jessie- not sure how he reacted, i didnt ask for details, the poo in itself was too much info to digest at the time, couldnt face anymore details lol

Call it off. All weirdness gets worse once you are married.

It will have been due to food poisoning from a bad kebab.
The 23 pints of lager are red herrings.

he dressed as an elf (not sure why) so i think the pub may have noticed the stinking elf shitting himself in the corner

Was it just some skidmarks or was it like a melted mars bar in his pants? IS he mortified about it?

praying for food poisoning or stomach bug!

LOL at your last post Smallships

I know you're not married yet, but surely you had some inkling that this man has an anus, and probably defecates on a fairly regular basis?

The crapping elf is a bit off-putting though.

it was a "package", so more than skids... i hope hes mortified... he will be when i show him this thread when he graces me with his presence

i am far too aware of his anus lol, just never thought the punters of a popular pub in portsmouth would be

Don't know why I'm laughing so much... I seriously would have to call off the wedding for this.
I'm sitting here alternating between laughing and gagging

I can picture the local newspaper headlines

'Portsmouth pub punters perturbed by pooing pre-nup pixie'

im alternating between crying and gagging!!

ahhh, you see, the way you talk about him shitting himself - it's obvious you're meant to be! Look at it this way...could he go much lower in the public humiliation stakes?

Incidentally, my dh got so pissed at a friends wedding (he was an usher) he staggered heavily in to someones 90yr old grandma and wiped her out (No, not actually. but knocked her over). Then did some Mick Jagger impression on dance floor, then vomitted copiously, then passed out sitting on a tractor outside (I don't know why there was a tractor). And it was nearly 7pm. He may well have pissed & pooed himself but I was busy having fun so didn't investigate.

I'm sure you'll be very happy!

It is very funny. I wouldn't call off the wedding.

I shit myself when I was pregnant, halfway down the stairs in a pub. I was heading for the toilet but it was too late.

Think of the mileage you could get out of this though, the next dinner party conversation when you're sat next to Mr Boring and stuck for something interesting to say "Did I tell you about the time my husband dressed as an elf and shat himself?"

...err, ok maybe not.

Just trying to look on the bright side.......

and he'll never live it down... his mates will be reminding him/you every weekend!!! It'll probably even be in the speech!!
gag!

LOl at vision of hairy (?) male elf crapping himself in Portsmouth hot spot! You know this will be in the Portsmouth Echo quick as you can say Elf Crap !

lol willbury , he has to get a ferry home, hoping he goes back to the Naval Base, cannot face him!

If you love him then deffo marry him, If you think hes a weird incontinent elf then I'd reccomend calling it off!

ROFL at "weird incontinent elf"

Can't wait for the wedding, keep us posted SS!

lol at the lot of you. Hoping he doesnt bring said elf costume home for me to wash!

Perhaps pack a nappy and some wipes in a bag for him for his big nights out?