DUMB SHIT People say

[OneDearFawn]

I eat in a local restaurant weekly after work, so I typically go in with no makeup on. I am 35 and suffering with really painful cystic acne. Tried everything, my face is a mess.

Anyway, I go in on New Year’s Eve fully made up in makeup. The owners wife turns to me and says, wow, I didn’t even recognise you with makeup on, you look so much better with makeup on. After seeing I was embarassed and me mumbling ahh I suffer with my skin she stands and lists all the things allergy, hormones, everything as though to help. Yet making me feel worse and more of a spectacle. What she was saying is. God you look dog rough when I see you in the week. You should continue to paint your face to hide the offensive marks. I didn’t fucking appreciate it. Not one bit.

So got me thinking. What dumb shit have people said to you that ruined your day?

Perhaps you were looking a little TOO good for her liking!

Using the word 'dumb' to mean stupid is a modern Americanism and could be considered offensive by some (although most do now understand the different usage). Because the connotations of the word dumb are insulting, medically 'dumb' people are now normally referred to as 'speech-impaired'. I hope that clears it up for those who don't understand how their use of the word may be considered offensive.

I have a very handsome brother. Multiple times when I have introduced people to him I have heard, 'Oh my god, I can't believe he is your brother, he's so good looking.'
Yeah, thanks for that.

Interesting. Is the suggestion that the more attractive a woman is, the nastier other women will be to her? I haven't found that to be the norm, if so, either in my own experience or through observation.

I've always found that, even in high school, it has to do more with personality, and social skills (so, the ability to fit in with social norms).

The first time I ever took my FH to meet my family, long before we were married, I was in my mid 30s. My Aunt said “I’m glad you’re not looking for perfection anymore”.

I have 10 children, my choice, no one else supports or raises them and honestly its just me and hubby no one else. No one baby sits, we take our kids on holidays and we do all the things with absolutely no one elses helpnor support ever. so no one at all in my small circle has a right to say anything negative about our lifestyle or family planning. I was at my nan's house for xmas lunch, we havnt seen her in a couple of years and she had some friends over. We not long before xmas had a MC and my nan brings it up, it wasnt public knowledge and we are private people, I was horrified then she said your body cant cope thats why you MC (not the reason at all and really dismissive of our loss) , then she said surely after this your not silly enough to try again? Mind you we need ivf so its a hard process already. I could have just slumped in my chair, I felt like absolute shit and the topic wasnt on any sort of children or family, we were actually talking about the animals. Safe to say she will never know any of our family plans or our lives moving forward.

WTF! This literally made my mouth drop open. I am trying hard to think how he could see twin baby girls in their mother's arms, and say such a stupid thing! I don't suppose he is a paedophile - surely he would have been much more careful if he was - but in what universe did he think that that was an appropriate thing to say!? Did you respond at all itstrue, in fact did he realise afterwards what he had said?

I have rosacea. This from a colleague—“Your nose looks like a Belisha beacon!” (I had to look up what this was, just so I could gauge the scale of the insult).
When I was wearing make up to hide the red face, another colleague compared me to big bird (the character from Sesame Street). There’s nothing I can do about that, no amount of make up will change my bones.
Whilst I was handing over something to a client, filling in for another colleague. ‘Where’s Jane? She’s prettier than you.’
All of these and a hundred others from anyone who has ever made a negative comment about my appearance (including family members when I was little) are filed away and dredged up whenever anyone gives me a disparaging glance.
There’s plenty more about my use as a person/career choices/parenting that I also have a reel of I can run through if I’m ever in danger of feeling good about myself.
It has taken my whole life to learn to deal with these. I wish I hadn’t cared what others thought of me, but I did at the time and it was crippling.

Try having pet rats, people are vile about those. They will start telling you about traps and poison and sticky boards.
I realise that rats in the wrong place are a bad thing, but honestly stf up!

Perhaps research a little before making such a statement?

I said nothing but walked away and thankfully I’ve never run into him again. It was my friends 3 year old daughters birthday party so going nuclear at him wasn’t appropriate.

I was at a wedding in Kent and the mother of the groom said to me "Oh, all these northerners here with these accents. XXXX, promise me no matter what anyone ever says to you, don't change yourself".

Several people told me I did ‘so well’ to lose the baby weight so quickly. When actually, they knew full well I’d never gained it because I’d had numerous hospital admissions during pregnancy for hyperemesis (extreme sickness) and had been so ill all I could do was lay still in a dark room.

Only read a few posts, but wanted to chime in and say to the OP how sorry I am.

I have a few chronic conditions and try not to tell people. recently I got 'Oh that's the thing that's made up isn't it?' (fibromyalgia). I especially hate when people start wittering on about how I should avoid this or that food etc when they actually know I am under a specialist dietician among other health professionals.

I have an only child, I was at school run, and a group of us were chatting about the second hand uniform shop. I was saying I needed to pop in and get a blazer. One of the Mum’s who I really didn’t know very well other than to say hello to said ‘well if you’d given your daughter an older sibling, then you wouldn’t need the shop’.

I just looked at her and said ‘I hadn’t realised my miscarriage before her would be such an inconvenience’. She never spoke to me again 😂😂

My non identical twins boys were around 15 months old and getting their first haircut.

A fellow mother in the hairdressers asked if they were twins. I reply - Yes they are.

They are not identical twins though are they ?(one had white blonde hair like his father who was with me and the other had mid brown hair like
me). I reply - no they are not.

Are you sure they are twins ? They really don’t look alike at all. Reply - yes definitely twins (fake laugh).

Really? - Yup (now I’m a bit bemused).

Turns to my husband

Do they have the same father?

WTAF?!?!

Lunatic

The issue is that if you or your family has a history of mental illness, including depression, you are contraindicated. I would have loved to go on it, but my beloved grandmother had bipolar disorder and due to a spate of suicides linked to the drug the limitations for use are really strict. I suppose one could withhold family information when discussing with the doctor, but if OP has had a personal diagnosis of depression in the past, they won’t be able to prescribe it.

Cystic acne is bloody awful. So sorry you had to deal with such an insensitive person OP xx

Oh yeah that classic! 😡

My friend was with her son in his buggy. A woman told her not to worry, it had taken her a long time to lose the baby weight as well.

That's bad enough but what's worse is, he's adopted. That lead to a very awkward question where she asked me if she was fat 😳

So many

• do you know how to use birth control? (Pregnant at a lovely dinner party, random US woman speaks her mind. I mention her nationality as she did approximately 100 times that evening, as a way of explaining her rudeness after she saw everyone’s faces. No. I’ve lived in the US and don’t know anyone as rude as you madam. I think it’s just being an ass)
• when did you give birth?? Why are you still fat? (Two weeks post partum. Random Scottish woman. Nationality mentioned for equity)
• pakis are the worst for it! (Said by the lollipop man to me while I’m walking my British Pakistani children home from school, talking about running red lights. Idiot)
• Muslims make me afraid (said to me, a Muslim, in front of my kids, by an ex friend)

OMG. Just why. Think you win the most inappropriate thing to say award. Can't tell you how shocked I am.

But it doesn't just mean that does it? It also means unable to speak so equates that condition with being stupid . That's why it's offensive.

One of many examples - 5 days postpartum - mil says - “bet you can’t wait to lose your pooch”.

People say dumb shit ALL the time.

They never think that having a baby because ''I waaan one'' is a selfish choice though.