DUMB SHIT People say

[OneDearFawn]

I eat in a local restaurant weekly after work, so I typically go in with no makeup on. I am 35 and suffering with really painful cystic acne. Tried everything, my face is a mess.

Anyway, I go in on New Year’s Eve fully made up in makeup. The owners wife turns to me and says, wow, I didn’t even recognise you with makeup on, you look so much better with makeup on. After seeing I was embarassed and me mumbling ahh I suffer with my skin she stands and lists all the things allergy, hormones, everything as though to help. Yet making me feel worse and more of a spectacle. What she was saying is. God you look dog rough when I see you in the week. You should continue to paint your face to hide the offensive marks. I didn’t fucking appreciate it. Not one bit.

So got me thinking. What dumb shit have people said to you that ruined your day?

I’d forgotten that one! So unbelievably prying. I’m more forgiving of the boy-girl twins ‘are they identical’ one though, because I once said that to a grown up girl twin who had just pointed out her brother across the room. 😳. I then went on many years later to have boy-girl twins! I think it’s just verbal diarrhoea due to the twin fascination thing.

This! I have cancer and it's often the first thing people say when they find out. 'Oh I knew such and such who had that, she died of it'. I cannot fathom how people think this is helpful!

My parents also blame autism on not talking to children. They recently berated a friend for causing it in his grand daughter as she had too much screen time.

@ItsStillWork I used to get this all the time too! Made even worse by the fact my girl twin has down syndrome and my boy twin doesn’t! People were always disappointed when I said no too, like I had the rubbish version of twins 😂

I can’t even begin with the list of stupid things people said when my DD was born with Down syndrome but ones that stand out off the top of my head are ‘you don’t look old enough to have a Down’s baby’ and ‘how bad will she be when she’s older?’

Attended the walk in health centre with a skin infection and the receptionist asked me how it happened to which I replied that I had no idea - it just became infected. Then she asked me what it was infected with to which I replied that I had no idea presumably some sort of bacteria but I couldn't possible know which.

What a daft set of questions!

Is it...why?

And for the others who mentioned it, I also always got are they natural about the twins and ‘were you trying for twins?’ Not sure how you can ‘try’ for them, maybe there is a secret position I don’t about!

Have told this before.
Due to taking anti depressants I had put on a lot of weight very quickly (10kg/1st 8lb in a month)

Hadn’t told many people - man at church - did you know that your face has got very fat? (Actually I didn’t until then)

I met someone for coffee after my died died and she spent time telling me how she couldn't imagine never talking to or hugging her dad again.
I haven't seen her since.

It’s just a very odd thing to say. So odd it’s funny!

I'm 5'10".

I was waiting in a shop queue minding my own business when this scruffy, short man behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said nastily "You're tall for a woman aren't you?". I looked him up and down and replied "Yes, and YOU'RE short for a man arent you?" He shut up then. 🤣

Was in America, out for Halloween and got talking to an American girl (we were both in our 20s) and she asked where I was from. Having said England, she replied, ‘ah that’s lovely, which language do we speak here?’

Yes that’s what why we now use mute.

Get a grip!

I was with my dad when we bumped into a relative of my mum's. My dad had mixed dementia, she patted him on the shoulder and said "Are you all better now?"

Some people just can't help themselves.

A so called friend who turned up to my Mum's funeral caked in make up saying: "I wouldnt be caught dead with no make up on," tinkly laugh
Nope, don't see her any more

I don’t get the fascination with twins at all. I’ve known loads. They’re just people. Like even the identical ones. What is the big deal?!!!

I actually said to a friend that she looked "so incredibly young and slim" in her wedding photo. Yeah, I know. It was a case of blurting it out before realising I'd just called her fat and old.

Oh yes. It was one of a number of complaints from the all-female group.

Stating the obvious with this one, but the ‘but you look great!’ comment when in hospital or just come out of hospital and battling life limiting illness.

doctors, friends, family… oh and then they tell another person that I’m doing great because I seemingly looked ok for 5 minutes,,.

Double winner for this comment when I’m skeletal, wearing kids clothes and can barely walk but meet societies standard of ‘Kate moss 90s all bones’ look, so apparently ‘look amazing!’

This thread has reminded me of someone I used to work with who was prone to making this sort of remark, a pity really as she was quite kind deep down. I had a challenging and draining job and she would often tell me I looked tired, which annoyed me no end. Once, when things were better, I arrived at work dressed for a conference later in the day and with my makeup on. She took one look and said “Astra, you look amazing, are you having an affair? “

I have a house rabbit. If pets come up in conversation I often hear either; a stupid comment about eating rabbits or people feel compelled to tell me about their childhood pet rabbit who died in an awful way.

Yes! This is sooooo true! Never had it with our cat or dog, but people can't wait to tell you about rabbits with awful lives and terrible deaths.

Ive learned to stop them now. "If youre going to tell me.... then DONT".

Push back on ‘history of depression in the family’. My daughter’s mental health was horrendous over her acne and she got it, eventually, in her twenties. The Dr was more concerned about the possibility of pregnancy and staying out of direct sunlight than mental health problems.
See a different GP if you have to.

TTC first baby at 38 after suffering a MC earlier in the year last year... MIL- "I think you just need to relax...maybe you should go on holiday!"

Can't relate to the rest, but just the baby sleep bit. My one year old is a teerible sleeper, day and night. Father of newborn, literally 2 weeks old, 'have you heard of white noise? I put it on last night and newborn went right to sleep'. Have also been told to 'just let her lie down', apparently I'm preventing her?? Also been told (by FIL) to stop letting her nap during the day, at all!

DD also isn't and probably won't crawl, due, as it turns out, to hip dysplasia. A few weeks ago FIL asked why I won't 'let' her crawl. Asked in the same tone he uses when criticising me for not allowing her cake and biscuits. She's just gone 12 months.

I met a woman at work who used to come in to my previous workplace she said ‘ oh look at you, you used to be so young and pretty’ 😂