DUMB SHIT People say

[OneDearFawn]

I eat in a local restaurant weekly after work, so I typically go in with no makeup on. I am 35 and suffering with really painful cystic acne. Tried everything, my face is a mess.

Anyway, I go in on New Year’s Eve fully made up in makeup. The owners wife turns to me and says, wow, I didn’t even recognise you with makeup on, you look so much better with makeup on. After seeing I was embarassed and me mumbling ahh I suffer with my skin she stands and lists all the things allergy, hormones, everything as though to help. Yet making me feel worse and more of a spectacle. What she was saying is. God you look dog rough when I see you in the week. You should continue to paint your face to hide the offensive marks. I didn’t fucking appreciate it. Not one bit.

So got me thinking. What dumb shit have people said to you that ruined your day?

I’m sure both women we are talking about didn’t mean it maliciously but it just knocks your already beaten confidence. Your skin and smile are the first two things people see - it has definitely knocked my confidence so I don’t need it pointing out. Also if I showed them the wardrobe. Literal wardrobe full of products I’ve tried. They’d realise it bothers me

No it isn't. It's just an accurate description.

Oh good lord, give it a rest.

The lady at the optician told me that unless I have a nose job half the glasses in her shop wouldn’t be suitable. She said I could only have the style with the little pad on either side of the nose as my nose is ‚too flat‘ and the only thing she could suggest was cosmetic surgery.
lol! She was the first to tell me about my supposed deformity.
I took my strange nose and cash to another optician who found me a pair she claimed I just wouldn’t be able to wear. 😂

Why yes, they have matching penises.

The more I see, the more I think: 1. Some people are felony stupid, 2. You shouldn't be able to vote or have children without passing a test. I know; I’m becoming a complete arsehole with no patience the older I get.

Horrible lady who worked in the local corner shop a few weeks after I had dc1 said to me “you’d better lose some of that baby weight otherwise your husband will leave you.” I never went back in there if she was at the counter. Spiteful cow! I walked out of hospital in my pre maternity jeans (upsides of being a teen mother I suppose, I was slim when I conceived and didn’t gain much weight at all!), honestly she’d known me since I was about 5 and always been quite mean to me, I remember once trying to pay for something with the wrong change and she snorted at me and said “count again fool”.

When my baby daughter died we were told "god only takes the best" or he must have needed another angel. Or I know how your feeling as when my 80 year old gran died. Yep not the same. Sometimes people don't realise saying nothing is best lol.

My grandad always used to say when looking for things, it's always in the last place you look. Well, you wouldn't keep looking once you'd found it would you?

@NormasArse Yes! I get we know it is you coming down the corridor- because I am waiting for a double knee replacement

I ALWAYS get told I look tired when I don’t have make up on, I think why would you ever say that to someone?!

I have to deal with a lot of older people as part of my job. many are well into their mid- late nineties. Many have a few mobility problems/ arthiritis heart problems etc. . So many times they say to me " I never ever thought I'd end up like this ". I honestly want to ask them well what did you think you'd be like if you lived to a great age, did you just think you would carry on doing ten mile hikes forever and nipping up the stairs like a twenty year old ? Of course I don't and I probably am just being mean but everytime I hear it I just think what on earth did they expect ?

Not said to me but I’ve heard it said to many others.

‘Oh you’ve put on weight!’
‘You’re fat!’

As if the person didn’t know this already.
And just adding hurt feelings / humiliation to their list of woes!

I used to work as a Nurse on a very fast paced busy ward where we never stopped. One patient said to me " I'm amazed you're so fat considering how much running around you do " !

Was looking at bicycles in Halford’s. Salesman was initially quite helpful, got me to try a few out by sitting on them. Then he remarked I had ‘short, stubby legs’. Well that sale went right out the window !

'you look tired.'

Such a lose-lose statement because of I am tired I don't want to hear I look it too, and if I'm not then it's rubbish thing to hear.

Sorry you've had that shifty experience.

I've acne scars and in a weird way I've grown find of them. They are part of me and my life. People can look and think what they like.

The amount of dumb stuff I've had said to me since having miscarriages is ridiculous. People obviously just don't know what to say and get it wrong but I'd rather they just said nothing.

• maybe that one was a boy and next time you'll get a girl (i didn't have a preference)
• don't leave too big an age gap, you want them to be friends (they knew I'd had a miscarriage recently)
• breastfeeding causes miscarriages (I breastfed at the time and was still breastfeeding)
• it'll be different when you've got 2 kids (they know I've been unsuccessful in having a 2nd so far)

I'm sorry you were made to feel like crap about your appearance. I never wear any makeup so I've had a fair few comments around that over the years too. People are rude but unfortunately I think many just speak without thinking it through.

Our local priest told me when I was about 12 that I had the shortest neck he'd ever seen, like WTF.

I was holding my newborn identical twin daughters when a man who I didn’t know (was a friend of a friend) told me how he always had a fantasy of a threesome with twins!

This is my absolute bugbear. I HATE being told I look tired (unless I’m just about to fall asleep). Why do people say it? It’s just saying you look sh*t.

I had lost 2 stone after some major heart surgery. Really struggled with MH and couldn’t eat or sleep. MiL saw me take a second biscuit and said “are you aiming to put all that weight back on?” This was after she’d told me “Well you had it to lose!”

I know! Why do folk do that? Why do they think you want to know that?

I have rosacea and during a flare up, my cheeks and nose are very red. I can disguise it with make up, but one day my cousin called round early in the morning before I put my concealer on and before she even said hello, said Your nose is bright red!
Not terrible, but so annoying and inconsiderate, as she knows full well that I have this condition.

"Oh, you look tired" - my mum every time I see her. I then realised she says it to everyone she speaks too. I think she thinks it sounds caring? I've tried to explain to her that people might find it upsetting but she doesn't get it. Now shes getting on and her memory is a little funny I'll get told I look tired every 30 minutes or so

A couple of years into my son starting school another school mum who I was reasonably friendly with, let's say Kim - kindly disclosed to me that Karen, another school mum who I didn't know that well thought I 'always looked tired and fed up'. She went on...'Karen said you look absolutely knackered every time she sees you'. I was gobsmacked she'd told me they'd essentially been bitching about me but also as it goes I'm a nurse that works night shifts and frequently do the school run when I've been up all night or in the afternoon when I've had about 3/4hrs sleep then had to get up for the school run so I am fucking knackered as it goes and I don't really need you arse holes making me feel shit for pointing it out to me thank you very much!!

I'm childfree not by choice - the amount of people who ask me as part of small talk if I have kids, then when I reply no say "You're lucky, you can have mine!" or "I don't blame you!"
They have no idea why I am childfree or what my journey has been. It's so insensitive.