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AIBU?

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Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

458 replies

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:45

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

OP posts:
UnctuousUnicorns · 14/10/2025 15:15

Also, did the train have aircon and sealed windows, or could you have stood up and pointedly opened a window, perhaps wafting a hanky around with your other hand?

Bottlefall · 14/10/2025 15:16

Productiveam · 14/10/2025 15:00

45 mins until the next stop???!!! What line is this?!

Almost all the lines out of London have trains that don't stop for an hour or more.

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 14/10/2025 15:16

It’s only on MN that I read about obese women shouting that others are body shaming them etc. In real life most tend to try to hide themselves, embarrassed about their size.

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:16

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Oh fgs, if you don’t believe or want to engage just move along. I’ve better things to be doing with my time than making bizarre stories like this up.

OP posts:
Catpiece · 14/10/2025 15:16

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SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:17

UnctuousUnicorns · 14/10/2025 15:15

Also, did the train have aircon and sealed windows, or could you have stood up and pointedly opened a window, perhaps wafting a hanky around with your other hand?

Nope, most of our trains are totally sealed, no windows to open. I’m sure there’s probably air con on them but not that I felt today.

OP posts:
JaneEyre40 · 14/10/2025 15:17

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:01

I wouldn't have sat at a table for four as a single traveller

Why the hell not?

BauhausOfEliott · 14/10/2025 15:17

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SorcererGaheris · 14/10/2025 15:18

She was unreasonable to ask in the first place; it was no concern of hers where you were going.

You didn't do anything wrong - you were trying to be polite and it's understandable you'd want to leave to get away from a bad smell.

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:18

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I couldn’t agree with you more!!! It was totally bizarre!

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 14/10/2025 15:18

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

usedtobeaylis · 14/10/2025 15:19

She was probably aware and felt awful about herself and took it out on you. You didn't do anything wrong at all.

purplecorkheart · 14/10/2025 15:19

Haha I would have probably said that I was feeling unwell and was moving to be nearer the loo in cause you need to be sick. She would have gladly waved you off.

TwoTuesday · 14/10/2025 15:19

It is so rude to pant on people, and disgusting. I would have moved at once. I may have said "I don't want to give you my germs" but she was out of order interrogating you.

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:19

JaneEyre40 · 14/10/2025 15:17

Why the hell not?

I leave it for families and groups etc, it feels a bit selfish to me, when i can sit anywhere

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:20

JaneEyre40 · 14/10/2025 15:17

Why the hell not?

Exactly, I always sit at a table so I can use my laptop and plug in. People invariably join me. Someone HAS to be the first to sit at a table, and it was only the first leg of the journey that had unallocated seating.

OP posts:
Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:20

ChocolateCinderToffee · 14/10/2025 15:06

ODFOD

Why so angry

UnctuousUnicorns · 14/10/2025 15:20

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:17

Nope, most of our trains are totally sealed, no windows to open. I’m sure there’s probably air con on them but not that I felt today.

I miss being able to open windows on trains. Although I don't miss the twats who would immediately shut them again, on a day when the temperature was approaching the thirties.

GreenWheat · 14/10/2025 15:20

I would have just ignored her, as in not engaged with her at all, and carried on moving.

indoorplantqueen · 14/10/2025 15:20

I’d have just pretended to get off at the next stop then move up the train. She was rude though.

2gummy · 14/10/2025 15:20

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CrowMate · 14/10/2025 15:20

I’m surprised that the “I hate the smell of perfume” brigade hasn’t shown up yet.

Friendlygingercat · 14/10/2025 15:20

"Where are you going?"

"I dont mind you asking rude questions so long as you dont mind my not answering"

Conversation stopper delivered in teacher voice.

Artsyjojo · 14/10/2025 15:21

As an chubby person myself she sounds gross and I would have got up from the table as well. Never any excuse for smelling bad or even eww dribbling water on the table. You don't owe her anything. Don't t take it to heart.

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:21

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:20

Exactly, I always sit at a table so I can use my laptop and plug in. People invariably join me. Someone HAS to be the first to sit at a table, and it was only the first leg of the journey that had unallocated seating.

You can do that at other seats that are not tables although im talking uk trains

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