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Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

458 replies

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:45

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

OP posts:
Irenesortof · 14/10/2025 15:32

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:19

I leave it for families and groups etc, it feels a bit selfish to me, when i can sit anywhere

Do you really? I’d leave it for a group looking for somewhere to sit down but not just in case a group got on later.

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:32

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:29

You don' t need a table to use a lap top and you also run the risk of what happened to you, which you're now complaining about

Oh for crying out loud, do you know how difficult it is to work across multiple spreadsheets with a laptop in your lap, or the tiny table at the back of another seat? I also always have a notebook to hand and my phone needs to be plugged in. A table is far more comfortable and I have every right, as a paying passenger to sit where I like in a train with unallocated seating.

OP posts:
crappycrapcrap · 14/10/2025 15:32

You can get up and move as you like on a train, she was very unpleasant and moving sounds sensible. I’m sure other passengers sympathised.

The only thing is the spraying perfume sounds a bit off - but then I’d never spray anything if anyone was near me.

Wreckinball · 14/10/2025 15:33

For next time - if there’s spaces and you have reception- I’m expecting a private/delicate call or I’ve just had a text and am expecting a call that I’ll need to try and answer privately

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:33

sweetpickle2 · 14/10/2025 15:32

She was very rude, but I don't think she's totally off the mark saying you have an issue with fat people. I lost track of the references to her size or consequences thereof in your post. You could have told the entire story including her BO without mentioning her size once, it would have been the same story.

She literally accused me of hating/shaming fat people, how could I not mention that she herself was overweight to give context to the post?

OP posts:
sweetpickle2 · 14/10/2025 15:35

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:33

She literally accused me of hating/shaming fat people, how could I not mention that she herself was overweight to give context to the post?

Because if that's not why you moved it's irrelevant. She could have said you were moving because you didn't like the colour of her handbag, you wouldn't need to mention the colour several times over for the story to make sense.

Kattley · 14/10/2025 15:36

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:33

She literally accused me of hating/shaming fat people, how could I not mention that she herself was overweight to give context to the post?

Perhaps say she was overweight not she came huffing down the aisle, incredibly overweight, pushing herself in and taking up two seats?

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:36

sweetpickle2 · 14/10/2025 15:35

Because if that's not why you moved it's irrelevant. She could have said you were moving because you didn't like the colour of her handbag, you wouldn't need to mention the colour several times over for the story to make sense.

Well, I disagree. So let’s agree to disagree.

OP posts:
2gummy · 14/10/2025 15:37

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FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/10/2025 15:37

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 14/10/2025 14:49

You could have just said the truth once you were walking away. From the sounds of things she was unlikely to chase you even if she did get cross.

I’m an awful, awful person for laughing at this.

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:38

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No she didn’t… she said I obviously have an issue with fat people and that I was a body shaming bitch.

OP posts:
Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:38

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:32

Oh for crying out loud, do you know how difficult it is to work across multiple spreadsheets with a laptop in your lap, or the tiny table at the back of another seat? I also always have a notebook to hand and my phone needs to be plugged in. A table is far more comfortable and I have every right, as a paying passenger to sit where I like in a train with unallocated seating.

Well i have worked on laptops on trains so yes, i guess i do know

2gummy · 14/10/2025 15:39

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SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:39

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:38

Well i have worked on laptops on trains so yes, i guess i do know

Well I’m glad it works for you. But I prefer to be comfortable at a table in order to get some proper work done.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 14/10/2025 15:40

Aye, cool story.

sweetpickle2 · 14/10/2025 15:41

OP: I feel terrible was I in the wrong
A small minority of people: yes maybe a bit
OP: WELL AGREE TO DISAGREE

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:41

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Yes, I was feeling guilty in the immediate moments after. I’ve never been accused of being hateful towards fat people, and I’m no skinny minnie myself either. However, I’m now just mad that she was so rude and embarrassed me in front of other passengers.

OP posts:
BaconCheeses · 14/10/2025 15:41

If she was direct enough to challenge me moving I'd have been direct about why: there's a really bad smell and so I'm moving away. Can she not smell it too?

Owly11 · 14/10/2025 15:41

I find 'what?' can be a useful catch all question when you are caught off guard by someone. If they have insulted you they have to repeat the insult, if they are about to pile a load of their shit on you like this woman it reminds them that you are a person minding your own business and don't have to answer their question. It also gives you time to think. If she repeated the question you can then follow up with 'is there a problem?' It puts the responsibility back on her and makes it difficult for her to dump her shit on you without it being blindingly obvious that she is the aggressive one.

Rightsraptor · 14/10/2025 15:42

My sympathies to you, OP, I regularly move seats on buses to try to get away from stinky people. I also hold hankies over my nose. If they think it's because of them, they're right.

I'm stunned that she had the effrontery to behave as she did & she was completely in the wrong. I expect her stink wafted around and reached the noses of your fellow travellers so they will have realised why you moved and admired your pre-emptive action.

IndoorVoice · 14/10/2025 15:42

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You can ‘read all’ on the OP’s posts to avoid missing updates.

2gummy · 14/10/2025 15:42

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TheignT · 14/10/2025 15:43

Id have said I was going to the loo and disappeared

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:43

sweetpickle2 · 14/10/2025 15:41

OP: I feel terrible was I in the wrong
A small minority of people: yes maybe a bit
OP: WELL AGREE TO DISAGREE

What? I was feeling terribly that someone thought I was being horrible and prejudiced against them when it wasn’t my intention.

I don’t feel terribly for anything I wrote on this thread. It’s factually correct.

What point are you trying to make exactly?

OP posts:
Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:43

Irenesortof · 14/10/2025 15:32

Do you really? I’d leave it for a group looking for somewhere to sit down but not just in case a group got on later.

I guess we're all different