Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

Please don't feel bad. She was really confrontational and rude to you. You did nothing wrong.
Never mind 'you should have said this' or done that, that is nonsense and having a total stranger call you a fucking bitch or similar is deeply unpleasant. You did well to just walk away. Tomorrow is a new day 💪

😂😂😂

'Embellishments' doesn't mean not factual, it means they are unnecessary. How are these embellishments necessary to why you moved seats?

Ah, emojis. The tell tale response for someone that has run out of excuses.

Give it a rest

So someone can respond to someone but the other person can't respond back? Forums don't work like that.

I'll sit at a table with four seats if I want to and I usually travel alone. They aren't particularly for families and groups travelling together. If I've booked a seat then I am sometimes put there anyway.

First come, first served.

Bizarre thread! OP came on feeling upset after being verbally abused by a stranger and needlessly finds herself the subject of further vituperation 🤯. Body odour woman clearly has a chip on her shoulder (in addition to the various bags of chips she may be downing as we speak 🍟).

If it ever happens again, just say ‘your perfume is setting off my allergies’.

You did the right thing @SoberOctober2025you can sit wherever you like and I would have moved too. You did not need to justify yourself to her whatsoever. I probably would have just ignored her tbh!

You can generally choose where u sit when you book

Says the one swearing

So?

Really?
Her stomach was on the table and her breasts flopped all the way over the front of it or down the side of it to also be touching the table?

Jumped the shark a bit there, didn’t you.

Because it goes to show that weight related issues were not the reason I was moving, I was pretty okay with breast and stomach being on the table, the reason I was moving was the smell. Therefore I am not a body shaming bitch as accused.

Must I say this same point many more times?

Or just not verbally attack other passengers on a train? It's a pretty horrible experience being shouted at like that.

Nah, just run out of patience

😂😂😂

I think I would have been very annoyed at having been put in that position, and spoen to like that, when you were just trying to move discreetly. I think I would have been tempted to say in a loud voice as I was walking off, "I have nothing against obese people whatsoever. It's smelly people I have an issue with."

Because the language used is fat phobic as is yours. You do know that health problems contribute towards obesity?

Yes, on most routes… and I choose to sit at a table, as many many other people do!

Run out of time because you're busy with big spreadsheets

You have a solo long train trip
and you’re going to spend it feverishly tapping dozens and dozens of posts about how not guilty you are feeling about this incident.

Read a book! Do some work! Call a friend!

Well I don’t know what you mean by jumping the shark, but yes, entirely factual. Table was cutting into her stomach and that was resting on the table and her breasts were resting on top of that and extending out further, all over hanging over the table.

And she was also dribbling, panting, spraying water and smelling bad

righto.

If they are not relevant to why you moved then why are they relevant to the story? You don’t prove you’re not body-shaming by doubling down on shaming descriptions.

If the smell was the issue, then let the smell be the issue – leave her body out of it. If her accusation is the issue, then let her false accusation be the issue – leave her body out of it.