Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

I bet you were crafting your OP as soon as she sat next to you 🤭

I don't normally have BO at all, and wear a lovely deoderant. However. When i am uber, uber stressed to the point of some kind of animal panic response I start to smell terrible - a really weird strong BO type smell - it has happened to me twice, both to do with the person I was seeing, and even if a brief encounter it then lasts all day. I have noticed the same thing on other people, eg someone new working at a supermarket on a till and getting grief. And no at the time the person who smells can't smell it - both times I have suspected by the reaction of the people around me and then when I got home and took off my top in the bathroom, left the bathroom and walked back in I could smell it. I was mortified! Not related to size I am size 12 now and was size 10 when it last happened. Now if i suspect it will happen i take a change of top, wipes and deoderant with me.

I can't believe i am writing all this. I hope no one recognises me!

If she was anxious as well as overweight, and just getting on a train was terrifying for her, that might explain it.

But you shouldn't feel bad about your decision to move either. I would have just said loudly, clearly and kindly, "No it is nothing to do with your weight, I promise" (as that would be true) and given a reassuring smile which she would remember when she thought back and felt bad about her outburst.

It really was a very unpleasant experience, many people turned to stare at me. And as I walked away, all I was initially thinking was I have obviously really upset this person. But getting over the shock and embarrassment, I’m actually just a bit pissed off that someone spoke to me in that way.

None of her business where you're going, what an entitled woman 😂 you are fine OP.

I think if a smelly fat person challenged me I would tell the truth. I would have said I don’t have an issue with your size but your BO is making me feel sick then walk away. Anyone has a right to sit on the train but in the interests of common courtesy at least shower and change your clothes so the smell of BO is not overpowering. That applies to people who aren’t fat too.

Of course they were.
Perhaps your grasp of human anatomy and biology could use some brushing up?

I think im allergic to your perfume

I’ve been on the go and working since 5am, if I want to spend some time on MN navel gazing about this incident on a boring train ride then I will! If you don’t want to engage, then off you trot!

And by the way, I wouldn’t call a friend on a train, that’s just plain rude 😂

As do pies.

Sort of reminds me of a time when I was in a GPs waiting room many years ago and seats were limited so had no choice but to sit next to this woman. As soon as I sat down she stood up and moved on to the seat next to her. I am not fat or smelly (unless my perfume was a bit strong 😂) I was sat on the front row of seats as well so everyone saw it. I was mortified and I did feel like saying look I would prefer not to sit next to anyone either as I like my own space, but kept quiet rather than cause a scene.

As for this situation though, she was rude and should have kept quiet, why should you sit there breathing in someone elses BO or whatever it was 🤑

I’m used to commute to London every day 54 mins - I often had to sit next to people and then moved when a seat became available - maybe because someone was elbowing me, a man ‘manspreading’, a person eating very smelly food - you are not being rude. You were just choosing to sit elsewhere when you had the option. If she caused you no issue - you would have stayed. Many times, I sat next to lovely people and often on a Friday after work even shared M&S cans of G&T with some fellow passengers!

We had a staff member in the NHS here who was very obese, wore a filthy uniform and smelled very strongly of unwashed bottoms.
Turns out she's a hoarder and couldn't get into her bathroom.
Our managers dealt with it, she had to have a shower every day at work snd was given a weekly supply of fresh uniforms which she had to take to the laundrette once a week.
Things improved 100%.
Something had to be done because patients were refusing to see her.

This is like you’ve asked ChatGPT to draw you a picture of a fat person on a train and then tried to describe it really badly. Like when it interprets how a three year old draws a horse.

Even the people on My 600lb Life don’t have tits that do that. 😂

Sorry? Would you like me to draw you a diagram? This is a totally accurate description of how this lady presented today. Tell me how it’s anatomically impossible as this lady was a biological anomaly then as well as a rude so and so.

14.43: OP excitedly starts threads she’s been crafting since the incident about how “absolutely awful” she feels about making this woman feel bad

14.50: OP Are people nose blind to their own BO? Do some people just not realise they stink? Even the panting on me and dribbling I would have been totally mortified doing that in front of someone.

and minutes later…. No one is more sure how the OP was 100% reasonable and should not feel a whiff of guilt than, well the OP herself!

I think the woman sounds grim.
However I wouldn’t have dressed it up as me feeling absolutely awful about making her feel bad when very clearly OP… you didn’t. You were delighted in fact in the thread you were going to start about it to make the time go quicker 🤭

Don’t have breasts that rest on top of their stomachs? I’m really not understanding where you’re coming from.

Of course they do, but they don’t have breasts that touch the table while their stomachs are already doing so!

Wasn't the table essential for work?

Let's be honest here. If you were called a bitch by a total stranger for no reason do you really know how you would react or if you would say anything back? Some of you are just looking for a fight on here and OP has had enough for one day. Being verbally attacked is awful and wanting some support afterwards when you're sat alone on a train is perfectly ok too.

@Didimum

I think the mentions of the lady's weight are relevant to the story because the lady explicitly accused the OP of having a problem with fat people and being a body shamer.

If the OP had not mentioned the size of the lady at all, then a lot of replies would have speculated that the lady herself was on the large side to jump to such a conclusion.

The OP was maybe a bit excessively descriptive in the way she went about it (I accept her reasons for that) but mentioning that the woman was overweight was relevant, as I see it.

This is true, thinking about it, large breasts are more likely to be pushed higher, on top of stomach

Does the train do any bar service? A long train journey along the Irish coast, I’d be kicking back with a glass of fizz watching the world go by

They were not touching the table, they were hanging over the stomach, held up by the stomach, and extending beyond the table, protruding about a third/half of the table’s width.

Im actually weak laughing that I’ve been explaining another woman’s breasts in such detail 😂

Unfortunately not, no alcohol allowed and not even refreshments on some routes since Covid.