Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

You're the one who told the OP had she had a cheek to sit on the train with a table, I mean how very dare she, like I say some people love a fucking argument....

The reference to the other woman's size is relevant, however, because the other woman blamed the move on fat phobia.

So basically she was unwell…..
Because healthy people don’t normally gulp loads of water whilst dribbling.

Incorrect, I smiled directly at her when she joined my table and then had my face in my phone.

It's of no relevance at all whether the woman was overweight or not. How is it relevant?

The woman blaming OP moving due to body shaming did not require paragraphs of visceral descriptions of someone's body or actions.

Except for the fact that she told me I obviously have an issue with fat people and said in a voice loud enough for surrounding people to all hear that I was a body shaming bitch, which was the entire crux of my post.

If you travel from Kings Cross to Edinburgh sometimes York is the first stop and that's an hour and 50 minutes. Although to be fair that's unlikely not to be allocated seating.

Have finally reached my destination, this thread has been a much wilder ride though 😂

Of course it's relevant when the other woman claimed that that was the reason fro moving.

If the woman had had grey hair and the other woman had complained that the OP was shaming her for having grey hair, then a reference to grey hair would have been relevant.

No, because her accusing you of body shaming has no relevance to how you actually described her (for a very lengthy paragraph).

*Someone sat next to me on the train who smelled so badly, I couldn't tolerate it so I moved. She accused me of body shaming her when I actually just couldn't sit in the smell. Was she BU or was I?

See – simple.

I wouldn't have particularly wanted to sit next to Twiggy or Kate Moss if they were dribbling everywhere and stinking of BO.

I would have said
'I have sensory issues.' Are you being disablist??

And you don’t think there would have been numerous posters asking whether or not she was in fact overweight?

I do think the description of what happened is relevant because it shows that I didn’t actually move as a result of weight related issues such as the panting, dribbling and spraying water, and breasts and stomach being on the table. None of that bothered me until the smell hit me. Which I believe goes to show that I actually am not a body shaming bitch as I was loudly accused of being!

YANBU. You were entitled to move, and she made the choice to turn it into a thing. It sounds like her life is pretty difficult, but she didn't need to make it even harder by trying to pick an argument with a stranger.

Actually, the best thing to say to someone when they ask you something you don't want to answer is "Why do you want to know?" Then THEY have to justify what they said to YOU.
Try it. Its a winner!

I don't blame you , i would have moved away too and quickly if someone sat by me smelling of shit , actually the dribbling water would have been enough for me alone.
She was the rude one.

Your embellishments to sex up your story are very unpleasant. Stomach AND breasts on the table?

That’s a bit much op, and I can see why the other posters are reacting as they are.

Just because something is true doesn’t mean it’s relevant.

The OP claims she moved because of a smell, not because of the woman's body size. Unless OP's discomfort was somehow caused by the woman's size (for example, if seating space were involved), her weight doesn’t explain or justify the action. It’s unnecessary to the point being made.

The woman accused OP of body shaming after she moved seats, the relevant question is what actually motivated OP to move — not what the woman's body looked like. Including details about the woman's weight isn’t necessary to refute the accusation. The OP can deny body shaming by explaining her reason without invoking physical descriptions.

As she was so rude I would have just retorted back that actually it’s nothing to do with your weight, it’s to do with your BO. I have tried to spray perfume but it’s not cutting it and I can’t sit near you

Hopefully that lady will think twice and starting eating more DSalad

/s

You could've said anything you want in response to that rudeness. It's not like she could've run after you to remonstrate.

And you don’t think there would have been numerous posters asking whether or not she was in fact overweight?

Who cares if they did? You can't retrospectively blame imaginary commentary before it's written. And it would have been irrelevant anyway.

If none of the above bothered you, then why are you mentioning it? 'What happened' is you moved because of a smell – that should be it. Why are you describing anything else.

the panting, dribbling and spraying water, and breasts and stomach being on the table.

Every time you post, you just reveal yourself to be more and more awful, OP. Give it up.

They are not embellishments, completely factual, both stomach and breasts were on the table.