To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

For the people saying that he should shower after doing a poo - would you expect the same if he had done a poo earlier in the day? If not, why not? Wash hands certainly but why would he need to wash his whole body if he wipes properly?

I can understand that's it's off putting for you OP but he probably can't help needing to poo!

Its a spray

As below

Ask him to shower after .

This thread 😂

After reading all this, I'm beginning to think some men are handed an sex sexual.

1. 5pm cut off - last allowable shit
2. full shower & scrub
3. bum inspection to check for satisfactory cleanliness
4. sex - missionary, lights off
5. mandatory post coitus cuddle
6. Promptly remove sheet/bed linen and put on 90degree boiled watch
7. Further shower before new sheets

Bloody hell, spontaneous sex obviously banded in a lot of households and cleanliness gone to the extreme.

Is everyone having a shower before sex then? Not very spontaneous is it. And before you say it’s different if you’ve just had a poo, it’s not like the post poo miasma you’re grossed out by fades away during the day is it.. in fact it gets worse with sweat and festering etc.

Id love to know how the hell you would spray it into your eyes!!! The minds boggles

I always give my backside a swill in the sink after a poo despite it having got me in trouble at work on more than one occasion.

I'd love to see you doing this. Imagine going into the ladies and finding you there with your arse out and splashing it in the sink - how, just how?

Take a wet wipe with you if you feel the need for a spit and polish as well as a wipe.

How do you know he hasn't had a quick wipe with damp toilet paper or otherwise freshened up? It's probably more likely he's cleaner after pooing just before he knows he is about to have sex, then if he just had a poo randomly three hours before.

And no, unless you do suffer from UTIs, nobody has a big massive shower before sex as standard, unless you've been doing something particularly smelly like just got home from your job as a binman.

This has reminded me of a woman I once knew who had a boyfriend who didn't like to acknowledge that women poo too. When they stayed in a hotel, he expected her to leave their room and use the restaurant loo. She did as she was told and went. He on the other hand used the loo in the en suite. Both of them were quite happy to talk about it in front of other people 😬

Well look at that thing.

That level of jet power is going to ricochet, and if you turned round to check you were firing it right, getting off the muck or whatever it is that a bum-sprayer is supposed to achieve then you might well get an eye-full.

Illberidingshotgun · Today 17:44

TakeMeDancing · Today 17:28
I buy a new mattress every time I DTD.

That's just skanky. You should be moving house every time.

Ideally she should be placed in the shitness protection programme for her own safety.

Anyway, are you sure you didn't use something intended for cleaning the toilet bowl? It's not as if there is any bum in evidence in the photos ...

I agree a bum gun appears unwieldy and there is plenty of scope for misadventure.

Perhaps the more sensitive minded MNetters could start a petition to get Japanese style bidets installed into UK bathrooms as standard 😆

It would put me off. Realistically it's probably no big deal, but some men have messier poos and danglier bits...I wouldn't want that anywhere near me. When men use the toilet a certain percentage goes a certain way into the toilet bowl...

unless you're pegging him then I fail to see the issue

You don't have to wash your hair every shower

I don't get this - when I was dating and sex was on the cards I'd automatically shower before. Now I'm married we have plenty of sex but we know when it's going to happen because you know - kids, jobs, lives! It's really not hard to shower before bed. Sometimes we have a spontaneous afternoon shag if we have the house on a weekend so yeah, I guess occasionally we may not have literally just showered but if I'd had a poo after my shower? Yes I would have another quick one. A shower can take 2 minutes max.

He's having a regular shit before sex so the idea of sexy spontaneity has gone right out of the window!!

I'm on the side of showering before the deed. Both partners. Who wants smelly wee/poo bums/bits/fingers anywhere near them?

I still don’t understand.

You’re suggesting that the man who has just had a poo sticks his willy up his own arse before then putting it inside his wife?

YABU - you want to be comfortable to dtd! It’s not uncommon for me to stop my husband when things start to head that way and say “sorry I need to run for a wee first”

Maybe he once had a “bad experience” before he met you and now feels the need to be extra cautious! 🤣

Napoleon?

Could he have a quick shower afterwards to freshen up?