To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

A poo would not be acceptable foreplay for me either.

Well if op or her dh is sticking something up his arse and then up her fanny it’s a recipe for disaster anyway wether he’s had a shower or not.

I had a bf who'd slope off to the bathroom every time we were heading to bed. He wasn't having a poo but was away too long for a wee. I'd get sick of waiting and just go to sleep. I hoped he'd stop doing it if he was missing out on a shag but nope, he did it every time.

Eventually I found out what he was doing. I made a startling discovery in his toiletry bag. He'd left it wide open. I'm not a snooper otherwise I'd have found it long before then.

He wore foundation and had to remove it before coming to bed in case it got on the pillows. I don't know what was worse, that it was Chanel and more expensive than mine or that it was the same one his mother used.

That's one for the next 'Ick' thread.

Unless he’s being Rimmed or Pegged, I don’t see the problem.

He obviously can. 🙄 I literally put that as I often do the online food shop and get them.

Well, this whole thread just demonstrates how bonkers most MNetters are.

Thank god you said this!!!

If he's not showering afterwards, she's going to be thinking he smells shitty.

I'm assuming you're a bloke? How about she has sex while she's on her period without washing?

If either me or DP need a poo before sex then we have the manners to wash/shower afterwards. In with you OP, poo germs or the thought of poo germs is not appealing. I know exit hole is round the back not the front but to me it’s all in the vicinity and a quick wash is just good manners. I used to suffer with UTIs an awful lot so stringent hygiene practices are second nature to me and DP just to be on the safe side. Besides, it’s nice to be clean!

This has cheered up my otherwise rubbish day 😂😂

Not comparable. It would be comparable to doing anal with totally uncontrollable diarrhoea

WTF is a bum gun??

I mean, I can imagine what it is, but I didn’t know it’s a thing 🤯

That's just skanky. You should be moving house every time.

This thread is a classic, surely? MN at its finest.

Do you make him nervous?!

Yeah that would be a no no for me as well

What a sentence 😂

What kind of experience do some of you have in the loo that you need to take a shower straight after?

I don't mean to poke fun at IBS-type conditions, which must be frustrating, but most people can manage to keep decent with a good wipe.

I think you’d find him farting mid act might be even more uncomfortable 🤣

How does one plan to do it before???

Also, do you guys not use water? Bidet spray or just sink or whatever? 🫣

You've never travelled in Asia then I guess?. It's a wonderful invention and means that you actually wash your bum rather than just wiping. Much more hygienic

Nope, never been to Asia. Does it come as part of a toilet, is it an add-on, or a separate device?

I wouldn't be surprised if the OP (or the shower before sex brigade) have a dog which lies/sits all over their house with its shitty unwiped bum.

I have never known a man excuse himself for a shit before a shag the first time .... because its embarrassing for a reason!

That's the problem, after years together he isn't bothering to try and be at least a bit sexy.

Comes home, nips upstairs to drop his guts and presents himself into the bedroom like OP should be fainting with excitement and turned on 😆

AS IF!!!

not if the jet spray splashes in your eyes - or anywhere really ...

I always give my backside a swill in the sink after a poo despite it having got me in trouble at work on more than one occasion.