To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

If you've bathed her in the evening she doesn't need a flannel wash in the morning!

There are so many snippy people around today. Must be something in the toilet water!

You go out to work / school without washing? Hmmm. How many times a day do you clean your teeth?

I'm teaching good hygiene. Kids need guidance.

What's wrong with a flannel? You'd have to use a flannel or something in the bath anyway... A soapy flannel isn't going to contaminate anything.

Common sense innit?

If I've showered the night before I don't shower again in the morning, no. Unless it's very warm and I'm very sweaty

You really don't need to

100% serious how on earth do you do it

I'm starting to think some people don't actually use anything to clean themselves in the bath/shower. Which is probably why they need to do it so often.

Wring the flannel out a bit, and stand on the shower mat?

This sums it up perfectly.

I actually feel sick at the thought of a flannel used on a bum at the sink

Or no mat. If the flannel's not dripping it ain't gonna drip on the floor.

And yet you're OK with a shag with a bloke who's just had a poo and no wash.

Illogical.

Exactly. Easy peasy. I don't understand some people.

As long as he’s not rubbing shit all over his cock she’ll be fine 😂

My DP has an IBD, he uses the loo more than the average person, I don’t make him shower before sex specifically, I trust him to be able to manage his bodily functions appropriately lol.

Sometimes you have to do it
I had surgery and couldn’t shower or bath and there was no way I wasn’t washing. Very hot water, soap and a flannel and just put the flannel in the wash either
same as if you’re caring for someone who is bedbound, they can’t bathe or shower so it’s a bed wash

Yes, of course flannels are single use. My mum used to boil them in a cauldron big pan once a week.

I totally agree with the concept of a bed bath in these circumstances but the poster is saying she does this for herself and her child as a daily hygiene routine?
I can’t understand this

One is rubbing the same piece of cloth over your arsehole and vulva.

One is having contact with a penis that's near a wiped arsehole.

And you think the former is logically more hygienic?

Do you not understand how soap and water work?

I have never used a flannel on my vulva or anus. I wash them with my hands in the shower and spray rinse - job done!

I have occasionally had to have a "festival shower" using a wet wipe.

I would not have sex with someone who had just had a poo and not washed! Honestly, how disgusting! You would 100% be able to smell it on going down on him. Also, people who get into bed with no underwear on after shitting and not washing are also disgusting

Washing with a bum flannel - also disgusting. Just wash your bum in the shower, it would take the same amount of time!

Do you?

I would like to know why you need to schedule a shit before sex every single time.

Hey babe wanna have sex? Sure let me take a shit first. Seriously there's no other time???? Is that part of his foreplay?

I wouldn't be surprised if he is one of those men who don't wipe properly leaving shit streaks in his underwear. (This is just me projecting I don't know if he does 😆)

I totally see how it is a turnoff for her. Starting to get in the mood, touching, romantic gestures etc, getting into it then he needs to go take a shit then come back and expect her to suck him.

Would she be unreasonable to expect that they both take showers before sex? For quickies we don't but when we want to take our time and make love we take showers, make sure we smell good for each other, and have fun, hygiene is very important to me.

Make love 🤢

Sorry you have a miserable sex life, some people love their partners and enjoy pleasuring each other rather than wham bham stick it in, pump and go, shit crusted sex.

Goodluck and I do hope you get to enjoy amazing sex with someone you love and are connected to where you both make sure you are prioritized at least once in your life, maybe that will stop you making such childish comments 😂.