To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

Once it’s dried onto his bum cheeks you can just crack the crust and brush it off like sand.

Why does the man you love have a shit-crusted dick after he goes to the toilet?

Hahaha and sprinkle it on your dinner like Parmesan cheese 😂

You really think wiping your arse with toilet paper means it's clean? It's not like he has bidet or something and it's fine if you have no issue sucking his dick when he has just had a shit, OP is within her rights to be repulsed and turned off by it, we don't have to like the same things.

But seriously, why is it shit-crusted? Does he have explosive diarrhoea every time?

As I said if you think your arse is clean because you wipes with tissue paper than I don't really know what to say to you.

And as I said it's fine if you have no issues with the scenarios but OP has every right to be repulsed and turned off.

Okay, well it's nice that you love him even with his shit-crusted dick. There's hope for us all.

If you engage in oral sex you will inevitably be exposed to germs of all sorts. That is just the nature of genitalia - they are not a germ free zone, Like most of our body. No amount of showering and scrubbing can change that fact.

If that worries you then choose not to do it. If not, then get stuck in!

Honestly I was going to have herb crusted salmon for dinner and all this chat had turned me right off 😖

If DTD means a quick 2 minute bounce i wouldn't care. It's a chore for baby making only.

But, a proper session needs a deep clean shower first though.

@OriginalSkang you're going to have to explain this one to me because I just don't get it

Also, people who get into bed with no underwear on after shitting and not washing are also disgusting

That wasn’t me🤣
my husbands always showers before getting in bed thank god

You can rinse your bum in the shower before using your flannel or pouffe.
how would you sufficiently dry and store the bun-sink flannel inbetween uses? It makes absolutely no sense to me

Why do you need to store and dry it? Just wash it. You don't need a dedicated bum-sink flannel. (I don't personally wash my bum in the sink, I'm gross and don't shower after every shit).

This. I am peri menopausal and only need to look at my DH while we’re both unshowered and I’ll get a uti. Yes, it kills spontaneity and yes, it sucks, but fortunately my DH is very understanding and scrupulous. All the people on here being outraged at the idea of washing before sex have no idea how lucky they are. Just hope that it doesn’t come for you when you’re my age!

JFC what an image

Er…is everyone giving their DH oral sex every time they have intercourse? Is this a thing? Am I doing sex wrong?

*quoted wrong post…see next post.

Meant to quote this post. Sorry.

I may be wrong but I think if you're TTC then giving him a BJ is probably not helping...

I don’t have shit crusted sex 😂

I have a great sex life, thanks, and didn’t necessarily disagree with the rest of your post. The phrase “make love” just makes me cringe.

Not sure how that means I have shit crusted sex but ok 👌 😂

An extract from AIBU - a MN Romance:

Nigel looked over at Sandra and began to give her the come on eyes.

Sandra put down her phone from scrolling MN and smiled back

Nigel knew he was in for a good night

"Now, before we start, when did last have a shit and did you shower after it?" Sandra asked

Nigel decided he'd rather go to his exclusive and very outing hobby instead

The snippy people we also out yesterday 🙄

Inbetween uses? Or do you mean you wash it after each use?

Yes, flannels are single use in our house. Especially bum ones. We've got lots and they get washed with the towels. Face only ones get hung up for next day though.

Another example of the wide range of people on MN…or indeed, anywhere.

Some people have hundreds of flannels - bum flannels washed after every use, face only flannels hung up to dry to serve another day.

On the other end of the spectrum, some people have NO flannels. At all. Nada.

Me, I’d say we have maybe around 15 flannels in the house in total. They have no designated use or living quarters and get washed as and when. I suspect I may be the only one in the house who uses them.