To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

Perhaps those who fear the bum germs should consider shagging Alan Partridge - say what you want about him, the man prioritises pre and post sex hygiene…

If a man constantly has shit on his hands, penis, or mouth then yeah he really needs better hygiene. But that should be rare. Normal hygiene (which includes not showering after every shit or showering immediately before sex) is enough to prevent constant UTIs.

I'm 65 and have yet to shit on my dangly bits...

Also, 'a certain percentage goes in the toilet bowl'? In all my years I have never missed the toilet bowl. 100% goes in the bowl, 100% of the time. Tbf, my XW once missed the toilet bowl and pebble-dashed the wall of a toilet in a small Portuguese railway station. I was quite impressed

🤢 .... pray tell ....what happened next

Reader, she didn't marry him. I hope.

🤣🤣

Same! I was about to post this...I just cannot believe that anyone is horrified at the thought of having sex without having a shower beforehand. Absolutely mental.

🤣🤣 this is hilarious.
How do you even know he's taking a dump op. He's only in there a couple of minutes .
In 25 years, we've never announced our toilet intentions to each other. Does he actually tell you he's going to do that, I guess I'd maybe find that part a bit off putting. I don't need to know anyone's toilet plans 🤣.

You do know people do this regularly as well…?

Lace his lunch the previous day with potent laxatives. This way - you control the poo narrative. He should be empty well before your appointment 😉

It would put me off! It’s not unreasonable to need a poo or to go for a poo, but maybe he could try and go more discreetly slightly earlier? If he’s not wiping properly/clean that’s another issue!

Not wash..?

I think the secret is just to try very hard not to think about it. When you actually think what he uses his penis for several times a day the poo issues pales in comparison.

Just have sex in the shower

Then you don't have to worry

Thanks to you all for giving me the best laugh I've had in ages. DH wanted to know why I was laughing so much...I managed to squeak out, "Shitness Protection Programme", before dissolving back into laughter!

I did manage to explain later, and he thought that was pretty funny. He has no idea what other gems he's missing out on! 🤣

Total passion killer

Some turds create a splash. And men’s dicks and balls dangle in the toilet while they shit. It can’t be helped i suppose but it’s not the image I’d want in my mind when I’m about to dtd.

I suddenly said I felt ill and had to stop. Never saw him again.

it hasn’t half made me cautious over cleanliness since!

Not ideal if TTC 🤣

Let’s Face it, TTC is not very romantic anyway! More like an obsession.

If he's using the ensuit and stinking up the bedroom or not cleaning properly and smelling of poo then YANBU. Otherwise YABU. I always go to the toilet before sex and wash after. I don't like feeling like i need the toilet while having sex. But I also wouldn't be getting turned on while smelling shit.

Edited to add. I actually remembered I have diagnosed OCD after i wrote. and am a compulsive pee-er so don't take my "I always pee before sex" as a "I think everyone should pee before sex". I pee before and after i do anything pretty much.

You’d rather he tried to have sex whilst needing a shit??

Nah flip it, immodium, plug him up. He csn deal with the consequences later, he'll appreciate your forethought.

Have sex while on their period without having a shower first.

Those who wouldn't be put off sex with someone after a poo.

Yes, I reckon there’s probably a fair amount of crossover. Personally I don’t find scrupulous cleanliness very sexy. I understand we’re all different though.