To dislike my husband masturbating in bed?

[justabigdisco]

I was woken last night by the bed shaking and my husband heavy breathing. I asked him WTF he was doing and he said ‘just trying to get comfy in bed’ however it was clear he was wanking next to me while I slept. There have been other episodes where I’ve been woken up and thought ‘is he…?’ but never been sure until last night.

I haven’t said anything to him yet but have been thinking about it all day. He has a higher sex drive than me and I know this frustrates him, but AIBU to find it a bit gross and disrespectful?

Why would you say that?

I would not like it. It is a private thing unless it’s mutual or the other person WANTS to join in. It’s not ok that he does this if you feel uncomfortable.

Nothing actually- I’ve done exactly that on multiple occasions?

Do you feel the same the other way round? Where do you masturbate then? Genuine question. It’s the only bloody time I have!

Depends on your attitude and marriage. I would have no problem with that, I love my husband, our sex life is good considering he's had prostate cancer and he can do whatever he feels that he needs. End of.

If anyone is thinking about their DH/DW during masturbation after umpteen years - they deserve a very special place in heaven indeed 🤭

You never done it secretly next to him? Really?

My DH would and does find it incredibly sexy waking up to find me masturbating. What could be sexier than watching your wife pleasure herself? Really odd opinions on this thread.

Where would you like him to do it?

"Disgusting", "grim", "gross" ???? It might be annoying if you were woken up, sure, but "disgusting"? Don't you have sex with the man who shares your bed? Doesn't he ever come?

I think I would rather that than him waiting until the minute I leave the house.

I can just imagine her in the cupboard under the stairs contorting herself into the tiny misshapen room , "think Jessica! THINK! This is your scheduled masturbation time and place ! . Ok...ok, next doors gardener with his floppy hair and Cupid's arrow! Come on make it quick ! "

Good for you. But this isn’t about you. This thread is about the OP who clearly states she feels it’s disrespectful and doesn’t like him doing it next to her whilst she sleeps.

Why on earth would you read the OP, it’s in black and white she dislikes it, and yet you say “give him a wee flash or help out”.

Fucking gross to give that type of “advice” to another woman. is time going backwards? Are women just here to serve men’s sexual needs?

There’s a HUGE difference between having consensual sex and pleasuring yourself, shaking the bed, heavy breathing next to your SLEEPING SPOUSE.

This thread is fucking grim.

No, women are not just here to serve mens’ sexual needs. But OP admits that her DH’s sex drive exceeds her own. What’s he supposed to do ? If a man posted the same thing here he would be accused of being controlling and handed his arse on a plate.

You were sleeping and the shaking is obviously going to wake you up. I'd find it really disrespectful.

I have no issues with masturbating, it's healthy and normal but that doesn't mean you can be inconsiderate because you want a wank.

This exactly! I certainly wouldn't ask my husband's permission if I fancied a wank and he was sound asleep.

Yes it’s about the OP who has asked for
opinions on a public forum and that’s exactly what she has got.

And I agree it’s like time going backwards - unbelievable there are so many sexually repressed prudish women remaining in this day and age who believe their life partner who they supposedly love and are sexually attracted to is dirty for masturbating in their own bed, who think masturbation should be done on private and who think them joining in is them is “serving male needs” rather than heaven forbid it’s because they enjoy it for both themselves and their partners pleasure.

So despite the fact that he has a higher sex drive than OP and accommodates it by doing what comes naturally, he should stop because it makes her feel uncomfortable. Jesus talk about controlling.

This. MN is weird sometimes.

👍End of thread 🙂🙃

He doesn't have to masturbate next to her which shakes the bed and wakes her up.

NC for this, since half of Mn seem to believe it’s evil!
I once woke DH up doing exactly this. I love him, he loves me, I have massive respect for him. It wasn’t about him, at all. I’ve no doubt he would have woken me up doing this too but his preferred venue is the shower 🤣🤣🤣

I’d hate that x

Stopped reading at there are so many sexually repressed prudish women remaining in this day and age

Grim, grim, and fucking grim. The internalised misogyny is diabolical.