DD's friend is therian

[Minieggy]

Sorry, it's long. My DD (9) has a friend who goes to a different school. For a while we have been trying to arrange a play date but there's always an excuse so they haven't seen each other for 4 months. They keep in touch via email.
A couple of weeks ago the friend sent a message saying "I am now therian and so is my friend from school".
My DD told me straight away even before I saw the message for myself and showed me her reply. She basically said that she thought it was silly and that friend was too young and that it didn't sound properly thought through especially if her schoolfriend was also therian.
She didn't get a reply but about a week later my DD sent another email inviting her to a party (didn't give a date) and friend replied, said that being therian was not silly and that she wouldn't be able to come to the party.
My DD has been very tearful and says she wants her friend back but the friend she knew. She's heard from another friend this girl is wearing a mask and tail to school etc. Other friend says school have told them they should be supportive.
I have explained that her reply probably made this girl feel unsupported by my DD but that I was very proud of DD for knowing her own opinion and voicing it so articulately. However, it is unlikely this girl will want to continue the friendship as she will be looking for friends who won't question her.
My DD wants me to message the mum for a playdate but I don't know what to say.
What would you do?

YANBU - Try to steer DD away from the friendship

YABU - Go through the mum to see if anything can be salvaged?

Noone, which is why it isn't happening. Hope that helps.

She is not allowed to wear a mask and tail at school all day. Didn't happen.

I have actually heard of it happening in a relatives child's school. The backlash ftom parents was phenomenal. Why a head teacher would allow it in the first place is quite beyond me.

I can only assume you're pulling my leg at this point. But I'm happy to feed you.

What is the name of the school? It would be front page news if true. But I'd like to contact them myself for clarity.

I won't be naming the school on a public site but I can promise I am not pulling your leg.

Of course you won't...

Your DDs friend wants to pretend to be an animal and have other people play along. Your DD, not unsurprisingly thinks this is weird and doesn't want to do it. Two very conflicting positions that leave no room for compromise. Particularly as the other child now has another friend who is joining in the pretence. Your DD needs to accept that for the time being the friendship isn't going to work and the best thing to do is be polite but concentrate on other friends. When the stage passes they may reconnect.

There is a big difference between dressing up and announcing you are now a therian and wearing a mask and tail to school. More fool this girls parents and the school for permitting this. My 5 year old would love to go to school dressed as batman but I don’t let him. I agree with the above posted about social contagion and would be happy that my child was not involved whilst the other child is being permitted to go through this phase.

Oh god, the using litter trays and wearing masks in schools brigade are out in force again?

This age of moral panic is tiresome. It's always friend of a friend. No one ever, EVER has any photo evidence - and kids are vile, you know they would be sharing the shit out of it.

It's not real. It's not happening.

Could offer to take her out for walks 🤔😉😀

Yep always disgusted and always personally “know of a school” but for some reason can’t name and shame, despite being outraged by the apparent behaviour 😂

All the doubters should read the case of the soon to be jailed ex head of Surrey Pride, and his relationship with an adolescent girl whom he encouraged in ‘pup play’. Her story is truly shocking.

And if you think that nine is too young for this to start, I have a bridge to sell as they like to say on here.

Pull the other one OP

People are calling out the endless “I know somewhere with a litter box” tales.

I'm not sure this case is at all relevant. Of all the things Ireland is going down for, pup play is the least of it - your details are a bit muddled, he engaged in pup play with a consenting adult partner, his conviction is for raping a 12-year old boy. He's a truly vile predator, voyeur and self-confessed paedophile, but none of that has anything to do with kids being 'therian' and we need to be careful not to get caught up in the general moral panic. Confused kids aren't a widespread thing; vile predators aren't routinely imposing therian ideals on kids.

A couple of weeks ago the friend sent a message saying "I am now therian and so is my friend from school".

What are the odds? Experts estimate that the global active therian population is likely somewhere between ~50,000 and 100,000. As the UK (just for example) makes up ~1% of the global population, then a very rough estimate might put UK therians at 500 - 1,000 individuals total. With a UK population of around 68.5 million, this would mean that the estimated percentage of UK population who are therians is 0.0007% to 0.0015%. That's fewer than 2 therians per 100,000 people, so extremely rare.

It's really lucky these two therians are in the same school and were able to find each other! Unless, of course, they are different types of animals that might have an adversarial or even predatory relationship. If a therian identifying as a mouse encountered a potential therian friend who identified as a cat, that would NOT be lucky at all!!! 🐁🐈Perhaps your daughter should distance herself from the potential carnage.

I genuinely am not. It was in a primary school that a close relatives child attended. Thankfully not long afterwards schools in scotland where told they by the Scottish government they did not need to pander to this nonsense.

So there was a school in scotland, shitting on the floor and it didnt make the news. Didn't make Tik Tok, nothing.

Have a day off. If you didn't see it, it didn't happen.

If it had really happened there would have been parents in the Daily Mail complaining about it with the requisite Daily Mail "sad faces". But there weren't, because it didn't happen.

And as you point out, it would have been all over Tik Tok, facebook, Instagram etc.

If there was a cubicle with a litter tray in at school, I can assure you all three of my teens (and their friends) would be sharing photos of them posing next to it 😂

If my kid came out as therian, I would have a list of rules in place:

1/ you want to be a cat or dog, you don't get to use the shower or bath, it's a hose down in the garden.

2/ if you insist on a litter box and you don't keep it tidy , or make a mess in the house , don't reach the litterbox in time , you sleep outside And/or get your nose rubbed in it .

3/ you eat from a bowl on the floor now. No crisps, nutella et C just animal food. If you identify as a canary, you get birdseed.

I'm pretty sure kids would snap put of these imaginary "dysphorias" if they weren't pandered to !

It happened in an Edinburgh school and did hit the news at the time. The other school I know about it happening in was a primary school. Most primary schools don't allow phones and they are locked away by staff.

Link to the news article please. It will be online somewhere if it exists

I’m with your DD on this and yes these kids should be told it’s silly. There is a time and place for dress up. I would steer her away from this friend.

Bizarre, the internet seems to have done that pesky thing where it deletes all traces of a news story. How annoying it’s that specific story, when there’s articles about lost parrots in 2018 still kicking about. Darn.

https://www.cheshire-live.co.uk/news/local-news/rare-parrots-vanish-after-zoo-5295086.amp