DH reported at work

[CircleBaker]

I am stuck between ‘the world has gone mad’ and ‘why did you say that’ so I’d appreciate some MN wisdom!

DH has been reported to HR by a colleague due to a comment he made when she arrived at her desk on a recent morning. He said she looked particularly happy so he joked that she must have ‘got some’ the night before.

Now this colleague is someone DH has worked with for a while and always (in his view) got along with, so he was very surprised to hear of the report.

I can’t help but feel that as much as it wasn’t the smartest of comments, it was fairly inoffensive given they are friendly and it seems OTT to report?!

You're guessing wrong. No one has called her that word.

Thankyou.

Completely understand why some people would get offended but if a male collegue who I had a good relationship with and often had banter with said that I wouldn’t be offended - that’s just me personally but also completely understand that we don’t know the back story and if your husband constantly makes these kind of remarks and this was the final straw.

And that's fine, you are entitled to your own opinion, we are all affected by different things.
But we always need to consider how our comments will land, and if OP's husband knew her well enough to think he could make a comment like that, then he would have known her well enough to know she would be bothered by it. He can't have it both ways, either he knows her well or he doesn't.

Or maybe she'd just reached the limits of her tolerance for morons who are old enough to know better making comments like that to her in her workplace?

I'll add that it's a bizarre take that that would justify the poster making that comment about the victim of sexual harassment.

Who has called you a bitch? You have just called the woman who complained about OP's DH's inappropriate behaviour a bitch so you are obviously quite comfortable with the use of this description for other women.

Depends on the context and we don't know what that was. Like the OP I'm all but retired and put up with some real sexist shit back in the day even though I retaliated.

My younger colleagues can't believe what we endured. A senior manager has recently been fired from our work for way less inuendo and direct remarks than I tolerated in the past.

However the OP and her DH don't seem to have moved on from those times while the most of society has. Harassment is often disguised as Banter.

Everyone is wrong except you right??

Why would everyone be wrong? You’re the only one claiming to be called a bitch so you’re the only one wrong.

It's on the thread dude. Im not making it up!!! Unlike you with your endless fabrication.

No. Just you.

Well, has he been sacked yet OP?? Or are you not returning as this is actually deemed more inappropriate than you both believe??

Of course.

In that case, I take it all back. If you quote the post for me, I'll be happy to report it.

Please would you quote the post where I've called you that?

I realise that I'm old and my memory isn't what it used to be, but this is quite concerning.

Literally no one called you a bitch. The thread is public, everyone dan see she didn’t.

The only poster to come on here and start throwing around the word ‘bitch’ was you.

Where? I've been back through @WearyAuldWumman 's comment and there is no post calling you a bitch.

Can this be real? Women can't be as oblivious as OP.

I had a similar comment once when I was smiling because my brother had just texted me his cancer had shrunk since his last bout of therapy. It absolutely took the wind out of my sails and made me feel disgusted and disgusting.

Phew! I was panicking that my mind was playing tricks on me!

There was!! It's already been deleted i think.

You must be new to Mumsnet. When a post has been deleted, you should be able to see a comment from Mumsnet HQ to say that it's been deleted.

There are no deleted posts. There is always a deleted post message and there aren't any...