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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider this arrangement

139 replies

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 09:26

I know I will be flamed, I don't know where to start with this, I went on a dates, it was ok, I didn't know he was married at first, I found out recently, he told me, I didn't suspect as he was happy to text/call all different times/no secrecy etc. I obviously stopped speaking/said wasn't interested when I found this out. Since then he has sent a few messages asking if I would consider a arrangement to meet weekly (in hotel) for sex, as he wants a long term woman/arrangement like this in exchange for money. He is Turkish,I am English. He is rich, I am poor. I don't think I will do It as it doesn't sit well but am I unreasonable to be tempted a bit by 600 a month when I am really struggling for money right now, in rent arrears, in overdraft soon as I am paid etc and before I knew he was married I did find him attractive and would of slept with him on the next date anyway I think. It feels wrong and dirty but is it really unreasonable to have thought about it and not said automatic no when you are really struggling with money, I considered to do it for around 6 months to clear my overdraft so I could start fresh as I can never catch up with that

OP posts:
Zippidydoodah · 02/04/2025 09:28

God, no. Have some self respect!

EmmaEmEmz · 02/04/2025 09:29

It's prostitution.

He's married.

Have some respect for yourself and his poor wife.

Mrsttcno1 · 02/04/2025 09:30

Absolutely vile behaviour OP

Enderwhere · 02/04/2025 09:31

Not for £600 a month I wouldn't
That's not even £200 per night.
also morally it's going to make you feel rubbish by the sounds of it

BigDahliaFan · 02/04/2025 09:32

It's the oldest profession in the world for a reason...if you feel safe is it that different from someone who gets taken out for nice dinners and weekends away?. There's a lot of mistresses in the world too.

Rickrolypoly · 02/04/2025 09:32

If you want to be a prostitute then go for it.

firkinn · 02/04/2025 09:33

Do you want to be a prostitute? Honestly, do you think that’s what you’re worth?

Doseofreality · 02/04/2025 09:33

Go for it, but only if you could hold your head up high when his wife finds out and tells everyone about it.

BobbyBiscuits · 02/04/2025 09:33

Why doesn't he just pay for a prostitute the tight git. What a fucking weird creepy request. Can I pay you for sex on a regular basis please?! Erm no of course not you dirty old fuck. It's not consent when you're obliged to do it for money?! How will you know what he expects you to do? What if it's disgusting and you don't want to?

ForgottenPasswordNewAccount · 02/04/2025 09:34

Yes, I would ask him to up to a 1k.

You were planning to give to him for free so why not take advantage of him to improve your life

Kendodd · 02/04/2025 09:35

Really odd he offered you money instead of just the no strings sex once a week without the payment ?

MissDoubleU · 02/04/2025 09:48

So.. He wants a prostitute but.. a cheaper one? Is that what you’re happy being?

At the very least I’d be asking the going rate. I have two good friends who are sex workers and often get sent a grand as a tip after the initial payment. I also know one who doesn’t do any sexual contact but will give you 24 hours of “girl friend experience” for £300. Just to give you an idea.

£200 for a shag isn’t great, is it? Not when you’re invested emotionally and he’s going back to playing doting husband to his unsuspecting wife.

Original poster
redbull5 · 02/04/2025 09:52

I love how I am the vile one when I am not married nor was it my idea, I never said I would do It I asked was I UR to have thought about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
redbull5 · 02/04/2025 09:53

Kendodd I think because I wasn't interested in sex or dating once I found out married

OP posts:
NuitDeSable · 02/04/2025 09:54

Chances are when you get to the hotel room there will be more than one man waiting in there.

Don't degrade yourself even further my prostituting your body go someone who sees you as nothing but a place to insert his penis.

Do you really think you'd ever see the money once they're done with you? You'll be man Ed and end up working for him or even trafficked.

FranticHare · 02/04/2025 09:56

Some people would be happy, some people wouldn't be. No judgement on either - I think it completely depends on how you view sex. Same as some enjoy one night stands, or having a FWB. Others struggle with this.

Don't do anything you might regret.

Original poster
redbull5 · 02/04/2025 09:56

And I think he doesn't want prostitute as he wants it to be same woman? Long term arrangement, and to be able to text etc in between,not sure if prostitutes do that?! And it is not for overnight it is couple of hours daytime. Anyway I am not going to,just wanted to see opinions as never had anything like this before.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 02/04/2025 09:58

you should have blocked him if you weren't happy to carry on seeing a married man. Made it clear that it is a complete break.

However. He has made you an offer that boils down to him paying you for sex. Are you ok with that? do it. If you're not ok with that, don't do it.

But he is married, and you will be a sex worker.

carcassonne1 · 02/04/2025 09:59

Don't be cheap, tell him at least the minimum wage 🕶

Moltenpink · 02/04/2025 10:00

NuitDeSable · 02/04/2025 09:54

Chances are when you get to the hotel room there will be more than one man waiting in there.

Don't degrade yourself even further my prostituting your body go someone who sees you as nothing but a place to insert his penis.

Do you really think you'd ever see the money once they're done with you? You'll be man Ed and end up working for him or even trafficked.

I would also be really worried about something like this happening. Stay safe if you do consider it

MissDoubleU · 02/04/2025 10:01

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 09:52

I love how I am the vile one when I am not married nor was it my idea, I never said I would do It I asked was I UR to have thought about it.

No, you are not unreasonable for thinking about it. I think anyone who says you are has not been in long term dire financial distress. It doesn’t mean you’d do it, or morally be okay with it even, just that it might seem like a lifeline for a minute.

Brefugee · 02/04/2025 10:02

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 09:56

And I think he doesn't want prostitute as he wants it to be same woman? Long term arrangement, and to be able to text etc in between,not sure if prostitutes do that?! And it is not for overnight it is couple of hours daytime. Anyway I am not going to,just wanted to see opinions as never had anything like this before.

Prostitutes will have their limits etc. If he is going to pay them for the "Girlfriend experience" they may well negotiate something like x-pounds/day for availablity to text, y-pounds/day for availability to take phone calls, z-pounds/day for waiting around for a call that he wants to see them. Then there may be things like a clothing allowance, hair appointments, and then tariffs for actually having sex (BJ, kissing/no-kissing, PIV sex, anal etc etc)

Some prostitutes, who are in control of their lives and business may be ok with that. IDK.

pinkyredrose · 02/04/2025 10:03

NuitDeSable · 02/04/2025 09:54

Chances are when you get to the hotel room there will be more than one man waiting in there.

Don't degrade yourself even further my prostituting your body go someone who sees you as nothing but a place to insert his penis.

Do you really think you'd ever see the money once they're done with you? You'll be man Ed and end up working for him or even trafficked.

More than one man? What makes you think that?

EmpressaurusKitty · 02/04/2025 10:08

Any man who thinks it reasonable to pay for sex is a sick and pathetic prick, and this one is a liar & a cheat into the bargain. I’d stay well away and feel very sorry for his wife.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 02/04/2025 10:11

Not for £600 no, that figure is way too low-if he is actually rich then he's taking the piss.

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