To consider this arrangement

[redbull5]

I know I will be flamed, I don't know where to start with this, I went on a dates, it was ok, I didn't know he was married at first, I found out recently, he told me, I didn't suspect as he was happy to text/call all different times/no secrecy etc. I obviously stopped speaking/said wasn't interested when I found this out. Since then he has sent a few messages asking if I would consider a arrangement to meet weekly (in hotel) for sex, as he wants a long term woman/arrangement like this in exchange for money. He is Turkish,I am English. He is rich, I am poor. I don't think I will do It as it doesn't sit well but am I unreasonable to be tempted a bit by 600 a month when I am really struggling for money right now, in rent arrears, in overdraft soon as I am paid etc and before I knew he was married I did find him attractive and would of slept with him on the next date anyway I think. It feels wrong and dirty but is it really unreasonable to have thought about it and not said automatic no when you are really struggling with money, I considered to do it for around 6 months to clear my overdraft so I could start fresh as I can never catch up with that

I wouldn’t judge someone in your position but I’d charg a LOT more.

This was my first thought. He's groomed you, stay away from him.

Because that’s how some of the grooming gangs worked?

100%! £600 per night maybe, not for 4-5 completely separate evenings of having his way.

PP are saying “50 an hour” but if he’s booked a hotel for the night each time and expects her company for that entire night we are talking minimum of 12 hours. 4 times a month is 48 hours.

Not being funny here ladies, but that would even out at 12.50 an hour. Fair enough she wouldn’t have her legs open that entire time, but she would have to be nice to him if he’s wanting that “girlfriend/side piece” experience. 12.50 an hour?

That’s pennies over national minimum wage.

I think people are taking things out of context and not how I meant at all. I am happy I posted for the risks I didn't see at first.

It was for once a week on average, couple of hours, daytime, not full night, plus to be available to text/flirt/ make it seem more normal dating plus a once a week meet. I'm not doing it! I just wanted to discuss it and not something I can in real life really that's all, thanks for all opinions/warnings/ideas :)

Girl. £1000/session minimum. Raise the bar!

It’s morally wrong of course, but you would’ve done it for free so might as well make some real money. If I’m going to be treated like a prostitute, then I want to be a high end escort, not a $2 hooker.

And I am giving you my opinion that when you weigh up all the time put in, including regular texting between and giving the “girlfriend experience” £600 for the month is a very meagre offering. When you include sex into that bargain it’s quite offensive.

Was he planning on booking a hotel for “a few hours” in the daytime then ?

I’m not saying you are doing it, but theoretically I was working out what your hourly rate would be in this scenario. The 12.50 an hour was in the basis of 12 hours in a week, which I still don’t think is unfair between the few hours of actual sex/in person and any phone calls, texting, and other time you put into planning and thinking about this relationship.

He was offering you very little over minimum wage to be an on-call secret affair partner. Realistically.

Again, if he offered you his £600 for one evening of casual sex I think there would be less judgement. He isn’t valuing your time, energy, effort or the emotional toll this would clearly take on any woman.

If you look on escort sites they are charging 300-600 PER HOUR. The reason he's asking for this is he's trying to get a bargain...gross!!

If you wanted to do it, you should charge much much more, and also be aware of your safety...think of the girl who was recently found in Dubai with all bones broken at the side of the road. This man clearly doesn't respect women, so your safety would be at risk unless you took precautions and had protection.

Literally though!

Girlfriend experience can be clocked in at a daily rate separate to the sex. I know girls who offer this like I said before. One who does zero sexual contact with clients but charges £300 per 24 hours.

People throw the word 'prostitute' around like 'Eeeewwww you'll be one of THOSE awful women!'

Eeew the humanity-you'll be having SEX!' like millions of other people do, many with strangers, withOUT the payment.

I'll never understand this.

I don't think I could do it-mainly because he's married and I'm gay but overall, why is this different to OP going out and having casual sex which many of us think is fine.
I would ask for more after a couple of times OP. Tell him he wasn't very good.

Don't do it OP. I would be very concerned for your safety. Turkish and Arab men often don't want "normal" sex from white women. It can be violent and violating. He might also be grooming you for something else or he might bring "friends" with him.

Vile

If the arrangement suits all parties then what is the issue?

'I'm not particularly attractive even, I'm not ugly but I'm not stunning size 12 so I don't really understand why I was propositioned for this as never have anything like this before'

Ask yourself why a wealthy man wants to pay you for sex when there are very attractive women out there willing to sleep with a wealthy man for free?

You know he's up to no good.

Some cultures like go abuse women by oissing and shitting on them, it's quite a big thing especially in Dubai and you could end up in a really awful situation being raped and defecated on.

I have worked as an escort before and the one thing I would say is that if you are going to do it, £600 a month is nowhere near enough. This is nowhere near "the going rate' (sorry to use such a term). You would be lowering yourself twice; once for doing it, and twice for accepting such a meagre amount of money.

If he is wanting to meet you literally just for an hour once a week for sex and nothing else, with no phone calls or anything in between, then £1k is around the figure pm you should be asking for.

If he wants to take you to dinner, spend the night together, occasionally contact you in between then £2k a month would be the norm. Of course he pays for all taxis, meals, hotels on top of this.

If he literally wants to be like a "boyfriend" and contact you anytime, pays for your phone, demands exclusivity, plus nights together that should be £3k a month.

For those posters saying "why doesn't he just hire a prostitute" it's because she is cheaper. Prostitutes charge the above. Plus he likes her, he's getting the woman of his choice rather than a random escort- this is worth money.

Just for your info if you do decide to go along with it. Don't sell yourself short. He won't respect you for it.

I was going to post the same!
£250 cash each time . But he may want to do things you're not comfortable with but, because he's paying, will feel entitled to do anything he wants.
i think this could end up as a really bad situation and you wouldn't have any 'control' over some things.

I don't think you'd be safe

You know what, there’s a lot of judgement on this thread, but I know how hard it is when finances are tight and it’s all you think about. You need to weigh up your mental health and sense of self and how this could be impacted by having sex for money. If it’s worth it, then push for more money. See how high he’ll go. Clear your debt in three months.

i’m sorry you find yourself in this situation, it’s not a choice you should have to face.

Sorry you’re in this situation OP. I see how it would be tempting especially as you already liked him and were prepared to have a relationship with him.

I certainly wouldn’t judge you for going ahead. I think the long term affects to your mental health wouldn’t be worth it, for me.

No I think it's more about a once about week but to chat in-between the week like a dating situation/more normal, so that's where I see the difference between a prostitute charging per hour etc, and that is was normal...until it changed. That's all. I guess he wants a 'girlfriend' to text etc in week, meet once a week, and it be a long term arrangement. Men never fail to surprise me is all ill say and I wanted to discuss as I don't know if this is normal request or really abnormal as I'm new to dating again

Well I’ve never seen this TBH when I was dating.

but I wouldn’t say it was unusual.

There's nothing to suggest that this guy is connected to grooming gangs.

Well I do know it's not normal lol, but I meant how odd is this? Is this quite normal or something completely worrying? I guess was just after opinions, and they have been varying, I thought I would be called disgusting to even think about it let alone do It, but this is the times.

I think you’re failing to understand that the “girlfriend experience” is something men pay sex workers for. This is part of sex work. It doesn’t separate you from other prostitutes. It makes you even more of a career “working” prostitute than sleeping with a man once for one big pay out.

You’d just would be working for an incredibly meagre amount.

Ok maybe I am naive then but I've never been offered upfront like this before such a arrangement, all I asked was how bad it was I did honestly think about it, didn't decide either way, but yes 600 pounds a month if was long term anyway would go a huge way for me, as I wanted to have sex with him anyway eventually, but there is a lot more risks than I first thought through just dating, that I didn't consider so it feels definitely too risky now regardless of he is married or not, I understand married men have sex outside but it's not particularly what I like but men lie a lot and I'm not to blame for that, I didn't know, and said no straight away when he said.