Page 6 | To consider this arrangement

redbull5 · 2025-04-02T08:26:44+00:00

I know I will be flamed, I don't know where to start with this, I went on a dates, it was ok, I didn't know he was married at first, I found out recently, he told me, I didn't suspect as he was happy to text/call all different times/no secrecy etc. I obviously stopped speaking/said wasn't interested when I found this out. Since then he has sent a few messages asking if I would consider a arrangement to meet weekly (in hotel) for sex, as he wants a long term woman/arrangement like this in exchange for money. He is Turkish,I am English. He is rich, I am poor. I don't think I will do It as it doesn't sit well but am I unreasonable to be tempted a bit by 600 a month when I am really struggling for money right now, in rent arrears, in overdraft soon as I am paid etc and before I knew he was married I did find him attractive and would of slept with him on the next date anyway I think. It feels wrong and dirty but is it really unreasonable to have thought about it and not said automatic no when you are really struggling with money, I considered to do it for around 6 months to clear my overdraft so I could start fresh as I can never catch up with that

Original poster

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 16:42

I just came for advice and opinions really, I don't think it's my fault he asked, as far as I knew he was single and I said not interested when I found out, that's all.

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Original poster

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 16:45

I went on dates, unknowingly, then this when I just wanted to see opinions if was in same situation as me. I'm not religious,don't see sex as sacred etc, I wasn't particularly looking for anything too serious just only dating but I was surprised.

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Original poster

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 16:46

But not with the wife/paying situation changes it for me a lot

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Original poster

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 17:17

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 02/04/2025 14:29

He wants to meet 4 times a month for 600?

You are literally selling yourself short.

Sex work wouldn't exist if we didn't live in a patriarchal society where women are seen as commodities to buy/sell/trade... But a woman in a dire financial situation is the last person I will lecture on morality.

Think about yourself in 5 years, when you could be doing okay money wise. Will the thought of you doing sex work make you feel dirty, used, shameful?

If so, do not do it. A short term fix is not worth a lifetime of mental health issues surrounding intimacy and sex.

If you think you will be fine and you want to do it, then I would be asking for a more realistic number.

Make sure he pays for the entire month at once at the beginning, or at the very least in advance before each time. Do not let him "owe" you. Do not let him pay via PayPal or similar where he can claw the money back and call you a scammer (it could affect your ability to use banks).

I know a woman who did this for several years. She is happy she did it, but I feel sad she felt she had to in the first place.

Edit: My friend charged 300 per time and double that for anal. I forgot to add that she was doing the same as you are considering. She only did it with one man at a time. I guess it's a sugar baby arrangement. Your guy is probably on that seeking arrangements website lol

Edited

Yes it would make me feel bad, remorseful, but right now 600 a month seems very good and actually easy if I'm really honest. It's a lot to me. I could clear my overdraft and be able to start a month without debt after around 6 months, so nothing nice being brought just the thought of I can start from scratch financially and then make better habits and budget , but right now I can't get on top of my overdraft, it's out running me. And it's stressful. It seems easy, as yes I did fancy him, so it's not as if it's a ugly old man I detest, I'd maybe even enjoy it sexually, but I do feel morals come in to play and I'm obviously not comfortable with that or I wouldn't of posted asking opinions I would of just said ok but I guess I do have morals or I wouldn't of questioned or asked

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BodyKeepingScore · 02/04/2025 17:59

So your desire for money trumps his wife’s entitlement to respect and fidelity in your eyes?

hazelnutvanillalatte · 02/04/2025 19:04

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 17:17

Yes it would make me feel bad, remorseful, but right now 600 a month seems very good and actually easy if I'm really honest. It's a lot to me. I could clear my overdraft and be able to start a month without debt after around 6 months, so nothing nice being brought just the thought of I can start from scratch financially and then make better habits and budget , but right now I can't get on top of my overdraft, it's out running me. And it's stressful. It seems easy, as yes I did fancy him, so it's not as if it's a ugly old man I detest, I'd maybe even enjoy it sexually, but I do feel morals come in to play and I'm obviously not comfortable with that or I wouldn't of posted asking opinions I would of just said ok but I guess I do have morals or I wouldn't of questioned or asked

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Again...please listen to the posters who say that if you do this, 600 is WAY too low

Bumblebeestiltskin · 02/04/2025 20:09

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 14:24

Yeah I guess 600 per month, so say 150 a week for 2/3 hours daytime sex, that I would of probably happily of done if he wasn't married and it was more natural just because we was dating kind of thing, I probably would of had sex with him weekly or so if we was dating normally, it's just that it changes it. It becomes a arrangement. And it's weird.

Oh I thought it was £600 per session! Definitely not for £150, even if he wasn't married.

BodyKeepingScore · 02/04/2025 20:10

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 16:45

I went on dates, unknowingly, then this when I just wanted to see opinions if was in same situation as me. I'm not religious,don't see sex as sacred etc, I wasn't particularly looking for anything too serious just only dating but I was surprised.

It’s a bit of a leap to go from considering dating a man, to becoming his prostitute knowing he’s married…

Iwannakeepondancing · 02/04/2025 20:12

I’d feel dirty and bad for his wife.

Nanny0gg · 02/04/2025 20:14

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 11:05

Well I would of yes (before I knew he was married) as I did like our dates and I thought he was attractive, maybe not weekly scheduled like that but I would of slept with him yes. Yes it is prostitution but I meant as in I am not a prostitute just a regular woman, never advertised myself as one, I just went on dates unknowningly. Yes people saying 600 is low, that is huge amount to me and yes prostitutes charge lots more but I am not one! I am not going to do it but I did want to see opinions as find interesting to discuss this...never had anything like this before 🤷

You also don't know what he'll expect you to do for £600

Poppyseeds79 · 02/04/2025 20:19

If he can buy your body he'll feel entitled to treat it how he wants. I'd assume the 'deal' would be you supplying him with whatever he wants sexually that the wife won't do...

BlondeMummyto1 · 02/04/2025 20:21

Once you take a penny he will think he owns you and will have other men waiting to make the £600 worth it.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 02/04/2025 20:35

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 13:17

Well yes he is the one on tinder, who went on 3 day time dates whilst married, not me, I am not married, and I had no reason to believe he was, I also didn't have sex with him, they were quite nice standard dates with no sex, and I also didn't come up with this idea, and actually didn't reply when he said he was married, and then said I wasn't interested further...then this, so I don't really think is my fault I went on dates with married man as I tend to believe people wanting to date that they are single 🤷

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Nobody is saying he isn't a cheating scumbag, but you didn't post a thread asking about what he should or shouldn't do. You asked for opinions about whether you would be wrong to consider it. The answer is yes, you would.

No, it wasn't your fault you went on a date not knowing he was married. But now you know he's married, it would be your fault. The fact that he is the one who owes faithfulness to his wife would not stop it from being a nasty, immoral thing for you to do.

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 02/04/2025 22:57

redbull5 · 02/04/2025 17:17

Yes it would make me feel bad, remorseful, but right now 600 a month seems very good and actually easy if I'm really honest. It's a lot to me. I could clear my overdraft and be able to start a month without debt after around 6 months, so nothing nice being brought just the thought of I can start from scratch financially and then make better habits and budget , but right now I can't get on top of my overdraft, it's out running me. And it's stressful. It seems easy, as yes I did fancy him, so it's not as if it's a ugly old man I detest, I'd maybe even enjoy it sexually, but I do feel morals come in to play and I'm obviously not comfortable with that or I wouldn't of posted asking opinions I would of just said ok but I guess I do have morals or I wouldn't of questioned or asked

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With all due respect, you don't seem to be listening to us. 600 is too low. It is well below "market rate".

You thinking you may have slept with him anyway is irrelevant. He isn't thinking of you as a date or a girlfriend. He is thinking of you as a sex worker. You need to think of him as a client.

Your reluctance to acknowledge that he may be offering too little makes me think that you don't feel you have any power to negotiate. Which either speaks to your self esteem, or you are worried about his reaction. Both of those options are bad if you are going to proceed with this.

He is wanting to enter a business arrangement with you. He is a business man. Negotiate. Value yourself. I promise you will establish a line in the sand that tells him you respect yourself more than just taking the first low ball offer.

He will walk all over you otherwise.

Believe me. I KNOW 600 is a lot of money. But you are selling yourself. Your body.
My friend who charged 300 a time was on the low end even a few years ago and she had other women who were doing it lecture her.

You have admitted you would feel bad if you did this so I really don't think you should. It isn't worth it for a quick fix.

I have tried to help on a practical level because at the very least you need to know that...

But you would be becoming part of a system that allows men to think they can buy women's bodies and you would be enabling a man to cheat on his wife.

Either do it, be smart and make sure he doesn't take advantage of you... Or keep your morals and work your way out of your financial situation another way.