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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you think of Blake Lively?

337 replies

NameChangeChic · 05/02/2025 13:13

From what I’ve heard with the current drama surrounding her I’m shocked. Did anyone’s opinions of her change?

ps this isn’t a bashing thread

OP posts:
AngryBird6122 · 26/02/2025 05:27

Mirabai · 25/02/2025 21:47

Erm so you missed the fact she filed a list of complaints at the time and got agreement that things would change? And you missed the points documented in the NY Times article indicating she has saved and documented a significant amount and subpoenaed even more. And you apparently think that you, a member of the public would be notified of all with this when she’s about to fight a court case?

And can you explain why so many Hollywood actresses say they didn’t complain, walk off set etc?

by your very first point in your first sentence I can tell you haven’t looked into this case properly. Go deeper.

DeeDeeFuzzbot · 26/02/2025 08:21

Mirabai · 25/02/2025 18:27

What kind of “irrefutable” evidence do you require? When you’ve been sexually harassed what kind of evidence did you have?

Are you saying that if you’re a high profile woman you can’t accuse anyone of sexual harassment unless you have cast iron “proof” what does that proof look like? It’s just words and behaviour isn’t it?

It is not about what I require.
Not at all.
But what the judge and jury would require.
And in this case “irrefutable”, I would define as provable evidence and undeniable evidence.
Which is why such cases (including those of really horrendous assault) are so hard for a victim to get justice.
And why many cases fail to get to court in the first place.

Anyone can be sexually harassed.
ANYONE!

If the circumstances arose for a predator to take advantage of.

The concern I have is IF one high profile woman is proven to not have been harassed, the awful implications that has for ALL women.
Because of the misogyny in our culture. Some of which women also partake.

I am keenly aware of the hate women receive, also from other women. It is literally all over the internet.

Mirabai · 26/02/2025 08:56

DeeDeeFuzzbot · 26/02/2025 08:21

It is not about what I require.
Not at all.
But what the judge and jury would require.
And in this case “irrefutable”, I would define as provable evidence and undeniable evidence.
Which is why such cases (including those of really horrendous assault) are so hard for a victim to get justice.
And why many cases fail to get to court in the first place.

Anyone can be sexually harassed.
ANYONE!

If the circumstances arose for a predator to take advantage of.

The concern I have is IF one high profile woman is proven to not have been harassed, the awful implications that has for ALL women.
Because of the misogyny in our culture. Some of which women also partake.

I am keenly aware of the hate women receive, also from other women. It is literally all over the internet.

By your line - anyone can be sexually harassed, but only those with cast iron proof (whatever you think that means), can report. In that case the majority of harassment (and sex offences too) would never be reported. But this is a civil not a criminal case so those evidential standards are not relevant as civil cases are decided on the balance of probabilities.

The misogyny in our culture is in full evidence on this thread and throughout Hollywood - why not worry about that.

Mirabai · 26/02/2025 08:58

AngryBird6122 · 26/02/2025 05:27

by your very first point in your first sentence I can tell you haven’t looked into this case properly. Go deeper.

😂

Wordau · 26/02/2025 08:59

orangecocoa · 05/02/2025 13:36

An old friend works for her and her family. She has nothing but nice things to say about them.

Interesting - someone who actually knows her rather than baseless speculation!

LadyTottingham · 26/02/2025 09:08

Wordau · 26/02/2025 08:59

Interesting - someone who actually knows her rather than baseless speculation!

😂

AngryBird6122 · 26/02/2025 09:54

Mirabai · 26/02/2025 08:58

😂

@Mirabai critical thinking needed here. Good luck!

AngryBird6122 · 26/02/2025 10:17

LadyTottingham · 26/02/2025 09:08

😂

@LadyTottingham what’s funny?

@Wordau likes the facts! Random person online says they know of someone who knows them in real life and they say they’re nice. So that’s that! Case closed right?!

😉

DeeDeeFuzzbot · 26/02/2025 11:43

Mirabai · 26/02/2025 08:56

By your line - anyone can be sexually harassed, but only those with cast iron proof (whatever you think that means), can report. In that case the majority of harassment (and sex offences too) would never be reported. But this is a civil not a criminal case so those evidential standards are not relevant as civil cases are decided on the balance of probabilities.

The misogyny in our culture is in full evidence on this thread and throughout Hollywood - why not worry about that.

That’s NOT my line.

But I can clarify it.

It’ll be lengthy.
But what’s new?!

Just for you 😉
and anyone who gives two shakes of a cats tail. 🐈‍⬛

Anyone can be harassed.
Anyone can report it.
Everyone should be supported in reporting it.
It is taxing on the victim.
I’VE SEEN IT MYSELF.

The reality for women and Children experiencing and reporting dv/sh/s abuse etc is heartbreaking and sometimes life ending! And I do NOT endorse these conditions.
It is my CRITICISM!

To be clear 😊
THAT is my stance.

Most of the above since before Blake Lively was born and I am quite certain until my death. (May that be a long ways off!) 🤞

The stats for women and girls are horrendous.

How many cases of sexual violence, abuse, DV or harassment against women and girls get reported vs how many are actually happening. Right now.

How many cases are dropped before getting to court.

How many cases are successful when they get to court.

How many children ( including babies ) are caught up in the crossfire of DV and harassment. Ending up in social care.

How many women die.

How many children are now without their mother.

It has to change AND Decades ago!

I want women and girls to race away from danger now!
To be believed and protected.
Pack up your things and run and tell your truth!
Knowing it is not that easy.
There is unseen bravery and resilience everywhere. Because there are unseen horrors everywhere.

I worry about ALL this. ⬆️
And so do many of us on this thread, I imagine.
For too long.

I worry about misogyny, wherever it may be.
If I hadn’t been clear on that point, I’m happy to clear it up for you … right here.

And you also see, I do choose, all by myself, what I consider is important to worry about.

If you are more interested in the misogyny against Blake Lively and in Hollywood or indeed this thread…
that’s your choice.
Your thought process.
You gotta do you.

My lens on this is, perhaps, different to others.
That is the nature of things.
I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.
I’m fine with that.

But what we should all expect is respect.
On this thread and in wider life.
So let’s be kind ❤️

With all things That go to court.
You need evidence.
It is an essential part of this process.
Otherwise, what is the judge and jury meant to be looking at?

How can THEY ascertain what is TRUE and give a ruling? And try to compensate accordingly without that step?

Probabilities based on…?

The legal teams charging a million dollars per month are gathering, what now…?

Facts, witnesses and information to present as…?

Evidence!

I do not decide what is admissible as evidence and neither do you, I imagine?

So what I think is “cast iron” (Mirabai’s words not mine) doesn’t matter!
No one gives a fig about what I think.

We are but inconsequential chitter chatter…blowing in the digital wind! 💨

However, I am ever mindful that we are all talking and sharing views here that impact… US.

You, and I and all the readers on here.

We will look up this thread and affect each other in ways we cannot always fathom.
The only thing we can control is our intent.
And I intend to be respectful.

It is incredible what information we have seen already.
Such egos!

I also see.

Truth IS being eroded and replaced with narrative.
Which can only be restored by FACTS.
Unedited.
Uncomfortable.
Verifiable.
and sometimes painful.
But always Freeing.

I want to swim in an ocean of truth.
Even if it’s a long walk through a beach strewn with misinformation and hatred to get there.
I’m jumping in with Jane Fonda!
Splash! 💦
(That was her metaphor by the way. I totally nicked it!)
If anyone cares at all.

My hubby doesn’t give a monkeys 🤣
Hollywood PR eh!
What a mess.

Mirabai · 26/02/2025 12:02

AngryBird6122 · 26/02/2025 09:54

@Mirabai critical thinking needed here. Good luck!

Indeed, and I’m not going to get it from you.

DeeDeeFuzzbot · 26/02/2025 13:52

Lots of information has come out since I first stumbled on this thread.
And hearing all the many various voices about this!

What do I think of Blake Lively now?
After..

•The interviews I saw.

•Including… The free admissions she made about how she conducts herself professionally.

•The messages, voice messages and texts.

•Her legal documents and the account(s) of what happened to her.

•Baldoni’s legal documents and his account of what happened to him.

•Film footage.

Wow.
They present a lot of things about her.
Some of which deviate from what I imagine most people thought about her before ALL this info came out.

I literally had no opinion myself.
Meh!

My more negative observations being that…

There is a huge but fragile ego here.

Displays of Self centredness.

Acts intentionally with Dishonesty.

Has a desire for control and authorship that can damage other people’s careers and professional roles.

Has taken credit for things she didn’t do herself.

Someone who doesn’t respect others boundaries.

Someone who is sensitive and defensive and yet, insensitive towards others.

Uses all means at her disposal to get what she wants.

The positive ones being…

She is someone who is hardworking.

Someone who is VERY Passionate about what they do.

Someone who speaks her mind.

Someone who demands people respect her boundaries.

She is a savvy business woman.

Someone who grabs opportunities wherever she can.

Is juggling motherhood and a busy work life. (Always impressive!).

Someone who likes to get her desired results.

I can’t believe I have derived so much about someone I have never, ever met!
I don’t know this lady!

But so much has been revealed that can’t be unseen. And there will be more…

Eeesh!

The above views are completely aside from the SH claims.
Separate, separate…
separate.

I do hope they are looked into appropriately. And respectfully and sensitively.
As should all complaints of SH!
And that truth shall prevail! ✨
❤️

Atomickitten · 26/02/2025 14:41

@DeeDeeFuzzbot
juggling motherhood and a busy work life. (Always impressive!).

hmm I’m just not so impressed by a nepo baby Hollywood millionaire with a team of Nannie’s , maids, private chefs

other than that I agree with your post :)

and I have enjoyed a couple of BL’s films

DeeDeeFuzzbot · 26/02/2025 14:43

Atomickitten · 26/02/2025 14:41

@DeeDeeFuzzbot
juggling motherhood and a busy work life. (Always impressive!).

hmm I’m just not so impressed by a nepo baby Hollywood millionaire with a team of Nannie’s , maids, private chefs

other than that I agree with your post :)

and I have enjoyed a couple of BL’s films

I guess it’s all relative 🤣

AngryBird6122 · 26/02/2025 15:19

Mirabai · 26/02/2025 12:02

Indeed, and I’m not going to get it from you.

Ok so you admit you need to do some! Like I said good luck.

Mirabai · 26/02/2025 15:59

No I’ve done mine.

AngryBird6122 · 26/02/2025 16:39

Mirabai · 26/02/2025 15:59

No I’ve done mine.

It's a shame you don't know how to debate. Could have been interesting. But you would need to have read more than the NY times article of course.

Mirabai · 28/02/2025 19:30

Discussion with you would not be interesting as your input has been so poor.

Debate requires more than reading the DM and watching YT.

beeloubee · 28/02/2025 21:29

Seems smug and acts superior

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 28/02/2025 21:34

I don't have an opinion on her as I haven't met her. What I do think though is that people need to stop buying into the bullshit that is reported about these people, the media outlets all have an agenda and it is very plain to see their bias.
If you weren't actually there you don't actually know.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 28/02/2025 21:35

She is a bully with good hair, that's about it.

LadyTottingham · 28/02/2025 22:02

People don’t need to buy into the DM or whatever other source they believe is poisoning peoples minds. There is substantial court documentation, copy texts etc freely available for those who are interested. The nasty DM is usually trotted out and used as a way of shutting down any discussion that isn’t going in the ‘right’ direction of travel.

I think it would be fair to that this case has evolved and all is not quite as we were led to believe initially.

BurgundyZero · 01/03/2025 16:05

This exchange is nuts, though.

I know the rich are different, but wtf is that message?!

What do you think of Blake Lively?
WhyDidPunxutawneyPhilHaveToSeeHisShadow · 01/03/2025 16:39

Isn't that just more luvvie acting notes bullshittery pre filming, rather than anything else? They both saw Lily as a sardonic flirty ballbuster👀, able to give as good as she gets, rather than someone subservient, passive/surrendered wife. The characters were equal at the beginning. Anyone can become a victim of DV narrative. Yeesh. Haven't read the book so don't know how it was portrayed there.
Didn't know banter I've banned bantz was a love language...but many couples seem to think they invented it.

BurgundyZero · 01/03/2025 18:01

I read the book on my eReader last week. It's... not very good. But if Blake had read the first chapter, even, she'd know her reading of the character was significantly off.

But it is a poorly-written book and the author has serious problems with tone, so I don't really blame the actress.

I am more surprised that a director with apparently semi-serious aspirations (they submitted this film for awards) would choose something by an author with less skill, insight and subtlety than Jo Jo Moyes or Sophie Kinsella.🙄

How come these people don't make movies about Marian Keyes books? A writer with read humour, warmth, and depth-- and on serious themes, including DV.

wipeywipe · 01/03/2025 18:13

This exchange is nuts, though.

The egos and luvvieness is off the scale

Swipe left for the next trending thread