Father in Law 80+ naughty boy

[WhatDidIjustHearr]

This is not really an AIBU but felt like a good place to post.

Staying at my in laws at the moment with the kids. Mother in law and DH went out and I’m working from home. Father in law is also at home.

I’m upstairs and he is in study downstairs. Suddenly I hear a woman’s voice - it sounds like she is in distress or sort of semi screaming in pain. Well the first few seconds I thought that’s what I was hearing as thought he must be watching some crime / drama or something… but he was clearly watching porn.

I think he is rather deaf, it was rather loud. He did turn it down a bit but the change of volume was like someone who is screaming is now just shouting.

I don’t judge anyone for watching porn but I actually had a physical reaction to that and feel somewhat sick.

He, I assume, clearly didn’t think I can hear it. Or did he forget I was here?

Impressive that it still works. Bodes well for your DH.

Agree that the title is utterly vile.

@WhatDidIjustHearr You can report your OP and request that Mumsnet change the title to something less creepy and disgusting.

Calling your 80+ year old FIL a Naughty Boy is a fuck ton weirder than the man watching porn.

Those who say shaking and sweating is an overreaction. Is not like I choose that reaction so not sure what the point is there - minimising the way my body decides to react? Would that stop my body from reacting the same way next time - hearing people say you are overacting?

The reaction came the more it went on. Definitely not a movie scene. That sort of sound would never be in a movie - probably also hence the reaction. Making me think that’s not what people do in real life and there is a women I don’t know if participating fully through choice in filming….

I would walk in. Possibly it isn’t porn ? Or are you in no doubt ? If he’s that deaf then he might not hear anyone walk in, eg the children. I think watching porn is horrible full stop, but with you in the house, and children about to arrive home ? Disgusting behaviour.

@WhatDidIjustHearr

If he does not already have hearing aids maybe this is the inspiration needed to get him to see an Audiologist . Maybe not mentioning the content he was accessing but possibly he needs to be aware as windows can be open and already on this thread unnecessary accusations can be cast. However, on that note Lots of NHS hearing aids now have blue tooth capabilities which would allow Grandad to be a little more discreet and would couple this with a lock for his study!!

On a serious note, Sex, and Intimacy in the older population and Sex and deafness are only fairly recently being discussed. You would be very surprised within the NHS where sex is seldom mentioned when the vast majority of Adults are involved in some kind of sexual pleasure in its many forms

There are policies in care homes when relatives may try and use safeguarding to prevent a consensual sexual relationship between two consenting Adults with capacity. There is also public health concern over spike in sexual transmitted diseases in the over 60s .

As the population ages and we are already moving back into multi-generational living with the housing crisis that managing situations as you have experienced today will become more and more common and difficult conversations will need to be had.

Hope you have recovered from your shock x

“Naughty boy”?? Wtf? I think you might have issues.

Maybe it was one of those comedy videos where they play a porn sound track over the top of it so as to embarras the viewer.

Fucks sake. OP isn't shocked because she thinks the over 70s just do bridge and knitting but because a perfectly able adult man is broadcasting audibly loud violent porn. This is abusive behaviour if he knows she's there. He's fucking with her - that is why she's shaking and sweating. She knows she's being threatened.

This ⬆️

You really do need to be careful which words you use and also maybe read a little more carefully because NOWHERE does the OP mention anything about assuming her FIL is a 'peodophile' which, according to Wikipedia and online dictionaries, is the definition of the word 'nonce':

'Nonce, a slang term chiefly used in Britain for alleged or convicted sex offenders, especially ones involving children'

She merely said that she thought he was possibly watching 'porn' and did not speculate which type or genre that might have been!🙄

OP wasn't listening to grandad wanking. She was hearing some woman screeching.

FIL is deaf and doesn't realise that the sound is so loud, that's all. And/or forgot that DIL is still home.

Yes, the food delivery man came round at a rather inopportune moment in a film I had on, he could well have thought I was watching porn. And Radio 4 plays are awful for this in the middle of the day!!

Not sure anyone would, if they honestly believed that all the guests had gone out.

Am l the only one who'd bang on the door and ask him to turn it down? He can do what he likes in private but if it's turned up to 11 then it's not private, is it?

I used the word nonce. I later retracted it since the OP clarified that the children weren't in the house. I know perfectly well what the word means, thank you.

I pointed out the same thing to another poster using the same word, including the definition from Wkipedia...So many are so very ignorant when it comes to this sort of thing and I truly believe that this is where and why so much hysteria and false accusations are made? 🙄

Ffs - that’s a bit of a reach isn’t it?!

My thoughts exactly.

Your title is a bit revolting I have to say

'Naughty boy'

Completely agree.

"Turn that down you dirty fucker, I don't want to hear it thanks."

Referring to a pensioner as a ‘naughty boy‘ is infinitely worse imo.

Shaking and sweating Come on OP. You were doing alright up to saying that.