Father in Law 80+ naughty boy

[WhatDidIjustHearr]

This is not really an AIBU but felt like a good place to post.

Staying at my in laws at the moment with the kids. Mother in law and DH went out and I’m working from home. Father in law is also at home.

I’m upstairs and he is in study downstairs. Suddenly I hear a woman’s voice - it sounds like she is in distress or sort of semi screaming in pain. Well the first few seconds I thought that’s what I was hearing as thought he must be watching some crime / drama or something… but he was clearly watching porn.

I think he is rather deaf, it was rather loud. He did turn it down a bit but the change of volume was like someone who is screaming is now just shouting.

I don’t judge anyone for watching porn but I actually had a physical reaction to that and feel somewhat sick.

He, I assume, clearly didn’t think I can hear it. Or did he forget I was here?

Reported what?

I actually don't see why you should keep quiet about this. His behaviour has made you feel very uncomfortable (understandably!) while a guest in their house.
He should not put you in this uncomfortable, horrible situation. And should have been sure no one was in the house. Other scenario is that he knew you were there and did it anyway.

I would actually say to him and the other adults if necessary that what you heard earlier made you very uncomfortable and feel vulnerable and you are not able to brush it under the carpet. I would never stay there again!!!! With good reason.

@SidekickSylvia I’m wondering whether I should or not. I feel like I shouldn’t in case he ends up telling his mum and in case it ends up causing some issues.

Unpleasant but something very similar happened to me once. You just have to forget about it.

And I have never breathed a word about what I witnessed to anyone.

Can you imagine? 🤣🤣🤣 The last thing I'd be doing is going into the room lol

You didn't say that the kids had gone out. I thought they were still in the house with you. My apologies.

Still, who watches full-volume porn when there are guests in the house? Someone who wants the guest to know they're watching it, that's who. Nonce might not be exactly the right word. Let's substitute wrong 'un.

"Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise"

No, you definitely didn’t mention the kids going out Staying at my in laws at the moment with the kids. Mother in law and DH went out and I’m working from home. Father in law is also at home. Not that I’m trying to argue with you about it, I was just trying to explain why another poster might call your FiL a nonce.

Your title makes me feel a bit sick but I'd just avoid excessive visits to in laws stick to meals & specific events

You are easily shocked if you are shaking from that, come on

Many people do odd things in private, you just happened to over hear this, just ignore

He might be 80 but he is still a man, not to say that women don’t watch porn as well

He was doing it in the privacy of his own study in his own house

How is he a "nonce"?

I would imagine that he probably thought that everyone had gone out.

My FIL forgot to clear the open tabs on his tablet, when my SIL went to use it. Every screen was p0rn! He's late 70s! He doesn't understand that you need to close the tabs down. It's definitely something my SIL didn't need to know or see! However, in your situation, I suspect your FIL either thought you'd gone out or forgot you were working from home. I wouldn't fret over it. It's come as a bit of a shock. Most people don't think of elderly people having sexual feelings. Unless it becomes a habit whilst you are working from home, then I'd forget about it.

Just tell him, matter of factly and politely, that you could hear his computer earlier and would he please use headphones in future? You don't need to refer to what he was watching or berate him for it, just let him know it was loud and you didn't want to hear it. If it's not a conversation you feel comfortable with, ask DH to have it with him. Again, no need to talk about the content of the videos, that's his business (assuming all legal and no reason to assume otherwise here), but you shouldn't be exposed to adult material unwillingly.

Oh yeah, MIL, DH and the kids went out it should’ve read. I actually had to reread it. Was going to argue that the insert you cookies from my post actually say it. But no, I don’t type the word kids in the second part…

He was doing it in his own house, in the privacy of his own study and you are telling the OP to make a compliant about him…..bizarre, no manners what so ever

Whilst I think porn is grim why are there several references on this thread to age?
is there a certain age where we are no longer sexual beings?
Is it when we are 60? Or maybe 70 or even 80?
Could someone send me a memo on what age is "proper " to have sexual thoughts and feelings?
yet more casual ageism

That's how I'd feel, too. I would spend all afternoon telling myself not to tell my husband, because it would be awful for him to hear. Then, realistically, I'd probably tell him within 30 seconds of hearing 'Hi, we're back'. Horrible situation op, hope the noise cancelling headphones are working.

Oh for goodness sake!!

Youre staying at his house! He’s a bloody grown man! If he wants to watch porn (which is perfectly legal) in his own home, then he’s perfectly entitled to!

Grow up!

And to the poster who called him a “nonce”, do you even know what that means??
Or are you just bandying around random words in the hope they fit?
Did op say he was watching anything to do with children?? No. So how exactly is he a nonce.

Op, I suggest you just go home and stop judging grown ups for the legal things they do in private.

Just slam your rom door or walk really loudly in the corridor so he can hear you are still around. with headphones on obviously

I called him a nonce, because the original post suggested the children were in the house. The OP then confirmed they weren't, so I retracted the word.

I'm still very suspicious of anyone who deliberately subjects other people to their porn use.

Wow

Exactly, such silly nonsense, this woman is behaving like some naive young virgin instead of a mother with children and a husband

Hope the op has those pearls insured, the way shes clutching them they are liable to break