Father in Law 80+ naughty boy

[WhatDidIjustHearr]

This is not really an AIBU but felt like a good place to post.

Staying at my in laws at the moment with the kids. Mother in law and DH went out and I’m working from home. Father in law is also at home.

I’m upstairs and he is in study downstairs. Suddenly I hear a woman’s voice - it sounds like she is in distress or sort of semi screaming in pain. Well the first few seconds I thought that’s what I was hearing as thought he must be watching some crime / drama or something… but he was clearly watching porn.

I think he is rather deaf, it was rather loud. He did turn it down a bit but the change of volume was like someone who is screaming is now just shouting.

I don’t judge anyone for watching porn but I actually had a physical reaction to that and feel somewhat sick.

He, I assume, clearly didn’t think I can hear it. Or did he forget I was here?

BUT I am fully aware that many others do not agree with my opinions and feelings and I respect their wishes and preferences.

I don't respect their wishes and preferences and I don't respect the opinions of apologists for pornography.

I'm sorry that you don't appear to understand the use of apostrophes to accentuate sarcasm. 😐
You are quite wrong with your assumption that there are not those hoping and imagining that somehow the use of porn will someday be eradicated if they shout loudly and often enough about how 'dreadful' etc it is...🙄
I really would love to know what 'disposable human beings' are?! 😕

Given the garbled sentence you have just written you are skating on very thin ice by criticising grammar.

Oh and I think you might be confusing apostrophe and quotation mark.

Very strange that you don't know what is meant by "disposable human beings" and that you can't even guess - given that people often write posts very quickly, surely you understand the gist of what is meant?

Strict court? I am genuinely interested to understand your standard of hospitality when people visit your home. Assuming FIL knew OP was in the house it is so lacking in politeness and care for others to do what he did. If it was a mistake because he didn't realise anyone was home, then I can understand. And OP can ask anything she likes on MN.

That wasn't my quote and I assumed that by porn the poster meant different forms of erotica, not the type of pornography that has been available since the invention of the internet. I studied Catullus (84BC - 54BC) in Latin lessons for my A levels and I was shocked at some of the explicit language and sexual themes.

I don't accept the argument of some posters that FIL absolutely has the right to access pornography in private in his own home, because, in this instance, it wasn't actually private at all.

Don't you think if I knew what 'disposable humans' were I wouldn't have asked for an explanation and the only 'strange' thing here is that you spent time asking me why I don't understand what you mean instead of maybe answering my query and explaining it to me because sorry no, I don't understand even the 'gist' of it as it's not an expression I have ever heard before in relation to simple discussion and I am 76! 🙄

"Disposable human being" -a person to be treated by the consumers of porn and their like as a person of no concern- the human equivalent of fast food, to be used and discarded with no consideration of that person as of being of any worth.

It's an idea which is often part of the anti pornography and anti prostitution argument.

Tbh I find your posts incomprehensible.

A poster said Porn has been around as long as humans have been around. It wont die out.
I assumed it was a feeble attempt to justify the existence of pornographg but what's it supposed to prove anyway? Lots of awful things have been around that long- are we supposed to accept them? Is porn, like the poor, always with us?

The enormous difference between Catullus et al and the type of porn which appeared (a) after the introduction of photography (b) after the introduction of film and video and (c) after the invention of the internet is that up until relatively recently pornography did not require the participation of actual living humans.

Hence anyone saying "Porn has been around as long as humans have been around. It wont die out. " is making a feeble argument because (a) so what if it has and (b) the quantity, nature and easy availability of extreme porn bears no relation to what might have been available before the introduction of technology.

The fact that you are describing my perfectly clearly stated text as 'garbled' says far more about you than it does about me and maybe you should have thought of that before you chose that word or criticised it at all?! 🙄😏

I'm sorry but they were correct: your text was garbled.

How gross. Hopefully he forgot you were in but I’d tell DH and be cautious around FIL in future.
If he knew you were home then frankly that’s quite creepy.

Just another dirty old man. Be careful.

You need to confront him about this and tell your husband

Disagree as he probably put it on as only op his dil and him in the house.The old perv probably got a kick out of it .Tell his wife and your husband name and shame or he will continue this

I'm going to disappoint all the puritans on here, but research shows the majority of men watch porn. If your guy says he doesn't, then the odds are- he's lying.
Secondly the main thing I'd be worried about this 80 year old is whether he is developing dementia? He didn't just do the obvious thing and wear headphones.

Your post, like many others, demonstrates why it is almost impossible to have a sensible discussion about it.

"Research" ( I googled something which confiremed my own bias")

"Puritan" (because everyone who has concerns about the prevalence of porn and its damaging effect on women in particular and society in general must be a Puritan)

It was a response to someone implying that it will soon die out.

Im simply saying it wont, just like death, disease, taxes and corrupt politicians who have also been around since humans came about.

Not following your logic. Death is the inevitable consequence of being alive. Taxes are the price we pay for societal structure and safety- that's a good thing , not bad.

Many, many diseases have been eradicated.

Corrupt politicians- they get called to account.

Different to him abusing his grandchildren though.

You are staying at your in-laws which must have a impact on their privacy
yet you think you have a right to complain about something he’s doing in his own house
if you do complain don’t be surprised if your in-laws tell you to leave for your cheek.

I presume that her in-laws invited OP, her DH and their children to stay with them. There are things that people do in their own home that they probably wouldn't do in front of guests, e.g. going to the toilet with the door open, walking around naked after a shower. Watching a loud pornographic film in earshot of his DIL should probably be one of them.

If her FIL couldn't wait to watch loud pornography until after OP and her family had gone home, he probably shouldn't have invited them to stay. I doubt that OP will ever want to stay again or even have him in her house which will mean that they will have less contact with their grandchildren.

Anything a man does in his own home is acceptable?

I presume that they weren’t invited to stay with them but don’t have any where to stay at the moment
ii also presume that it is in the realms of possibility that he thought she was out with the rest of the family.
Yes people should be good hosts equally people should be good guests and no cause disquiet between him and his wife.
im sure they can leave any time they want
if not put up and shut up