To ‘be more Mumsnet’ in 2025?

[Jumell]

I’m going to try and achieve some of these goals in 2025:-

Earn 100k pa at least
Move to Hampstead
Buy a Range Rover
Shop only at Boden
BAN the Daily Fail
Have 101 on Speed Dial
Get a ring doorbell

NEVER open front door except by prior appointment

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

Get tested for neurodiversity

Make a whole cooked chicken last a week
Massive salad

Go NC with my ENTIRE narcissistic family

Book a spa day

Get rid of my toilet brush

Chronicle daily how little I’m eating to keep my BMI permanently under 20

Encourage all woo threads as it fascinates me - generally - be more ‘woo’

Declare friendship groups as too much drama

SO C’MON!! There are worse goals for 2025 to have, surely?

Well I have 3 and have been doing them a while so I should try and add some more to the list!

You've forgotten getting DC into RG universities.

That one isn’t too difficult I wouldn’t have thought.

Ah yes… OF COURSE!!!

Also - ONLY buy Farrow and Ball paint!!!!

How come you don't already have a Ring doorbell?

Don't be silly, you can't afford to live in Hampstead on £100k - you also need a minimum of £3m to buy a house, gained from inheritance from someone you'd 'much rather be alive than have the money, so it's not really luck' despite the fact plenty of people die and cause grief without leaving behind enough to buy a mansion outright 😉

Yeah .. I’ve contemplated it tbh but never got one !

🤣🤣 - fair comment !

Quote the OP in the reply

Surely you need to live very rural? And once you're earning those 6 figures make sure to come on here and post about how skint you are.

🤣👍

You also need to get a lazy cocklodger so we can all tell you to LTB!

Serve everything with crusty bread.

Hahaha brilliant

I hope you're also planning on twatting on and on about twelfth night next Christmas if anyone dares to take their Christmas tree down before January

Forgot to say -

il also going to get a large wooden sign saying

‘NO TRADESMEN’

on the toilet door in very large black capital letters as don’t want any lavatorial drama of any kind in the New Year

You must also:
Wash towels at 90° after each use.
Shower either three times a day or once per week, there is no middle ground.
Collapse at the slightest whiff of fabric conditioner/air fresheners/perfumes etc. Call 101 if someone vapes within 100ft of you.

I'm going to make my ds stand in manure, so he grows to the required 6ft.

Oh darling not a Range Rover surely you mean a muddy old Volvo for the dogs.

Don’t forget holidays in Cornwall because you are making sacrifices now they’ve put VAT on school fees.

LTB!

Also never once raise your voice.
Never argue with your husband.
Have a husband does 50% of household stuff and is always respectful, thoughtful and never once gets rat arsed.
Ensure your children are tall, willowy, clever, sporty and beautiful if female and tall, hollow legged, clever, sporty and handsome if male.
Have a 'social circle' with exactly the same lifestyle and values as you and your wonderful husband.
Always holiday in France or Italy, never, God forbid, in the Costa del Sol or Lanzarote.

Also express HUGE disapproval and horror if someone expresses any kind of working class prejudice BUT when choosing school for DC the OVERRIDING concern should be -

HOW MANY MC PARENTS SEND THEIR KIDS THERE ??????!!!!

Change all bedding immediately after people get out of bed in the morning, every single morning and only use towels once before boiling them.

Yes, you need to be doing at least three loads of washing a day (we're very sporty, doncha know?!) or you're failing at life.

I live in Hampstead.
This is hilarious. It applies to so many of my neighbours...I am happily an outcast.
To be truly Hampstead it appears you need an intercom on your door so you never have to go near it, I've long been baffled!!