To ‘be more Mumsnet’ in 2025?

[Jumell]

I’m going to try and achieve some of these goals in 2025:-

Earn 100k pa at least
Move to Hampstead
Buy a Range Rover
Shop only at Boden
BAN the Daily Fail
Have 101 on Speed Dial
Get a ring doorbell

NEVER open front door except by prior appointment

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

Get tested for neurodiversity

Make a whole cooked chicken last a week
Massive salad

Go NC with my ENTIRE narcissistic family

Book a spa day

Get rid of my toilet brush

Chronicle daily how little I’m eating to keep my BMI permanently under 20

Encourage all woo threads as it fascinates me - generally - be more ‘woo’

Declare friendship groups as too much drama

SO C’MON!! There are worse goals for 2025 to have, surely?

Completely lose comprehension skills when reading an Op. Then go on to copy & paste the whole post and ask a question which was quite clearly mentioned in the second sentence of the Op.

Put your children in as many after school activities as possible.

None of this counts unless you refer to yourself and your family as ' outdoorsy' at least 12 times in any conversation.

YABU, OP - Boden is out of favour now 😂

You and your little family, you mean.

Tbh It's all been done to death op, the Boden thing, the bog brush, the cooked chicken etc etc. These lists come out at least every month or so. So I'm sorry to say you're ironically as much an mn cliche as the folk you're mocking .

All family members over the age of 11 (when it's acceptable to have a smart phone) must be tracked at all times, so you know when to start the dinner.
Partners/husbands must phone or message every 30 minutes if they are on a night out. They must be home before midnight in case the children have a major injury while they are asleep in bed.
Any female family member over 55 can be used for unpaid childcare at any time. If unwilling their relationship with the children will be irreparably damaged.

Have a penis beaker.
Adopt a "tinkly laugh " for when people are rude to you.
Hate your MIL, even if she's the loveliest soul.
"Snap and fart".

'Get your children into a Russell group uni.'

Probably okay as a back up plan but surely darling Tilly and darling Theo are on track for Oxbridge and your world will literally collapse when it doesn't happen. " Oh gosh what ever are we going to tell people "

Oh no !!

Make up things about the OP or husband/relative that werent in the post, going on a wild fantasy about things they havent said

You need to focus on having an affair, abusive, gambling habits, drugs, disordered eating.

I’m going to do a deep dive into every poster’s previous posts.

Very very true !

🙌🙌🙌

2025 is my year to learn the difference between
your/you’re
their/there/they’re
too/to/two

Also rein and reign

Will you add in saying 'would have / could have'
instead of would of/ could of or will you leave that as a goal for 2026.

And bear and bare. I shudder every time I read “Bare with me”. Not on your life, that’s for my husband and only him.

Make sure your DH doesn't have a social life. He's not allowed to go out drinking 3 times a year, and heaven forbid stays out all night. Even worse if his friend is a female work colleague!

But also, make sure you book in a monthly spa and girls night so it's "fair"

There are no health issues that can't be directly traced to perimenopause and 100% sorted by HRT. What's that - You're only 23? It's still "peri". You'll simply shrivel up and crumble to dust without it....Davina said so!

I want to starve myself so I can bitch about people being on Ozempic. Of course I'll actually start taking Ozempic first, but I won't tell anyone, because it's nobody's fucking business. 😀

Omg so on point !

If your OH refers to you as a ‘bigger girl’ or ANY other words which basically imply the same thing you MUST LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY!!

I struggle with effect and affect I have to admit. I often have a pedant correct me, all the more amusing when they drop a spag clanger too of course.

Make sure your DH doesn't have a social life. He's not allowed to go out drinking 3 times a year

And under no circumstances can he be "allowed" to leave the house after you've had a baby. Not even a trip to the gym after 3 weeks in the new baby "bubble".

Always remember: your baby, your rules.

If he doesn't like it then LTB. You'll be better off on your own with no job, no money and no support system.

I'm in Kilburn, that's practically Hampstead right? 😜