To ‘be more Mumsnet’ in 2025?

[Jumell]

I’m going to try and achieve some of these goals in 2025:-

Earn 100k pa at least
Move to Hampstead
Buy a Range Rover
Shop only at Boden
BAN the Daily Fail
Have 101 on Speed Dial
Get a ring doorbell

NEVER open front door except by prior appointment

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

Get tested for neurodiversity

Make a whole cooked chicken last a week
Massive salad

Go NC with my ENTIRE narcissistic family

Book a spa day

Get rid of my toilet brush

Chronicle daily how little I’m eating to keep my BMI permanently under 20

Encourage all woo threads as it fascinates me - generally - be more ‘woo’

Declare friendship groups as too much drama

SO C’MON!! There are worse goals for 2025 to have, surely?

🤣 I love that the social observations are spot on !!

your 6 ft sporty DS's also have to get all 9's at GCSE and A Level in order to study a STEM subject at a RG uni

Never ever disclose your husband's hobby because we all know that golf or cycling are incredibly outing and everyone will immediately know who you are!

This is very timely, OP, I have been considering my goals for 2025 today.

I shall start by practising screaming in chapels and look out for a penis beaker in the sales. Snapping and farting might be a possibility with practice.

BAN people who -

• say ‘hubs and bubz’
• say - your bubs, your rulez
• any fora with glitter and/or tickers

I think adding a PT to attend you're home gym multiple times a week and daily yoga are also Hampstead essentials!!

Declare the ICK a TOTAL dealbreaker - there’s no coming back from it

I guess it's a see what strikes you as unusual thing but I think of the Mumsnet stereotype as being more -

SAHM or working 10-2 to avoid the C word, childcare as their children would be utterly exhausted by after school club

And anyway they have very low earning potential

Doing all the housework as well men are so silly, they can barely tie their own shoelaces

Living very rurally

Main concern in life securing a parking space no more than a step away from their front door

Oh and plenty of time to "potter" and "chill"

Offer advice to OP on what they should say. Add "and mean it". And mean it.

Hollowed legged rugby playing sons who live on pasta fruit and flapjacks

No bleach ... EVER

don't forget to make sure you put your stepchildren before anyone else even at the detriment of your own sanity and other children in the family and give them the big bedroom

Do not take in parcels for neighbours

Express absolute disapproval and horror! - if any prejudice is shown or implied to working class people. However, declare that certain regional, obviously working class accents

”make my fanny clamp shut” !!!

Be bright, breezy, and polite yet only superficially friendly on the school run 🙌

MC?

Middle Class

ABOVE ALL ELSE ::

JOIN THE NATIONAL TRUST!

JOIN THE NCT! - but don’t even think of keeping in touch with any of them !

Be incensed about VAT on private school fees and sprinkle the phrase 'it's the politics of envy' through every related thread.

He has to be slim and sporty too. Whilst managing to eat an entire side of ham in one sitting.

Basically, to be more ‘MUMSNET’ in 2025 - you have to be the living embodiment of the ‘Sunday Times’ - if you see what I mean !

WHATEVER else you do, DO NOT go ALL INCLUSIVE !!!!! 😮😮😮😮😮

Get your ducks in a row and never read the entire thread! Just post the same as the 500 PP, which the OP has already clarified....preferably at least 5 days late.

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

The MN I post on the majority seem to be overweight, consider a normal BMI as dangerously underweight, borderline ana, unhealthy and self-depriving.

Your dog can only be Labrador, a rescue Greyhound or a Border Terrier, nothing else is allowed. Doodles are common and all come from puppy farms and anything larger than a Golden Retriever is going to kill your entire family!!!

Shop at COS

You forgot the ultimate mumsnet hobby: spend your spare time writing hateful screeds about trans people