To ‘be more Mumsnet’ in 2025?

[Jumell]

I’m going to try and achieve some of these goals in 2025:-

Earn 100k pa at least
Move to Hampstead
Buy a Range Rover
Shop only at Boden
BAN the Daily Fail
Have 101 on Speed Dial
Get a ring doorbell

NEVER open front door except by prior appointment

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

Get tested for neurodiversity

Make a whole cooked chicken last a week
Massive salad

Go NC with my ENTIRE narcissistic family

Book a spa day

Get rid of my toilet brush

Chronicle daily how little I’m eating to keep my BMI permanently under 20

Encourage all woo threads as it fascinates me - generally - be more ‘woo’

Declare friendship groups as too much drama

SO C’MON!! There are worse goals for 2025 to have, surely?

Have we mentioned UPF yet?

No 🤣 very good call !

Oh God yes, no UPF and NO CARBs. Faint in horror at the thought of Macdonald's

Now now.

You should know that you don’t actually buy the farrow and ball paint, but your decorators will get the same colour made up by Dulux as it goes on better.

You just do the colour consultation to select the colours.

Unless it’s an IKOS of course

Gosh this is my ex partner’s whole family !!

NORMAL WEIGHT = SKINNY

MADNESS?

Sorry what’s IKOS?

Never ever attend a wedding and if you do do not give a gift as B&G are CF.

Yes my experience too.

None of these aspirations will get you the Mumsnet seal of approval unless you spend at least an hour a day worrying about whether complete strangers are JUDGING you.

Also never remarry and consider merging families not least until the kids are 25. If you do you will be classed as a neglectful awful Mother who only puts her interests before their DC.

On page ten

But if you contemplate giving them less that 500 quid you're tight

But also....buy a load of frozen buffet food from Iceland for any special occasions
Spend a thousand pound each on all your children at Christmas

I'm quite basic. I can't actually handle the idea of doing anything proactive. But maybe that's because I spend too much time on here 🤣

Feel guilty for having an only child and not giving your kid siblings ‘cos you’re worried about them having no one when you’re gone even though ALL of yours and your OH’s siblings moved to New Zealand on their 18 birthdays and there’s been minimal contact since !

LTB the next time he fails to heat up dinner to the right temperature

Don’t forget to pad out all your meals with lentils 🤣

Throw in the occasional sneer at netmums to reassure yourself and mumsnet of your assumed superiority.

Stock up on crisp white shirts.

You should both be using weight loss injections and hate people who use weight loss injections because they are lazy cheaters.

Make sure your husband has a niche hobby that no one must ever know about

It's OK if you never leave the house, but you will be cast into outer darkness if you don't drive.

Quote the OP in the reply

genius response 😂😂😂😂

Refuse to answer my phone to anyone as my time is as important as anyone else's and they should respect that!

You've also missed "give your head a wobble at regular intervals". Definitely a Mumsnet goal.