To ‘be more Mumsnet’ in 2025?

[Jumell]

I’m going to try and achieve some of these goals in 2025:-

Earn 100k pa at least
Move to Hampstead
Buy a Range Rover
Shop only at Boden
BAN the Daily Fail
Have 101 on Speed Dial
Get a ring doorbell

NEVER open front door except by prior appointment

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

Get tested for neurodiversity

Make a whole cooked chicken last a week
Massive salad

Go NC with my ENTIRE narcissistic family

Book a spa day

Get rid of my toilet brush

Chronicle daily how little I’m eating to keep my BMI permanently under 20

Encourage all woo threads as it fascinates me - generally - be more ‘woo’

Declare friendship groups as too much drama

SO C’MON!! There are worse goals for 2025 to have, surely?

I have made a NY resolution not to buy a cat, on the grounds that this will mean I will definitely buy a cat. When the forbidden cat arrives, I will ensure it never sets foot outside or torments the neighbours' dogs by looking at them out of the window.

This thread has made me realise "ODFOD" has fallen out of favour on MN in recent years.

Ditto "cats bum mouth" seems to have left the building.

Both were as common as "crusty bread" here on mn at one time.

Sad to lose these classics.

<sobs agedly>

I guess todays widespread use of fillers in women means "cats bum mouth" is no longer widely possible.

When your DH/DP attends his company's annual Christmas party insist that he texts you at least once every 15 minutes.

Failure to do so is proof positive that he's up to no good & is edging towards LTB territory.

How about "beaver of steel" or "rough as a badger's arse"?

Rough as a badgers arse is still used down our way. Or rough as a badgers in polite company.

Heeled boots, I don't know anyone who wears these. Mind you I live semi rurally.

Can you drive tho @Mrsredlipstick 😂

I've not heard of the badgers arse before - "ovaries of steel" is MIA.

I can drive and have a mud splattered 4x4😁
Badgers arse can apply to dry wine too.
As in it's as dry as a badgers arse. Even my brummie husband says that now.

Ah. I’ve taken to describing anything dry as, “drier than Melania Trump on her wedding night.”

that is really grim

Say No (as a complete sentence) until you have no friends.

If you were truly a MNetter, you wouldn't allow your DH to go to his once a year work xmas party because now you have to manage your kids by yourself and obviously he is going to be shagging his secretary in the broom closet, and therefore, yet another reason to not allow him to go.

Plus, he might get drunk!!! That alone is LTB territory.

Post pics of your incredibly tedious outfits on WHAT are you wearing today ....
Mention Brora at every single opportunity..
Give a link to a dress costing 4000 on myTheresa ...
Never wear skinny jeans ...
Always mention Esska shoes ...
Let your hair go grey....

Hate your MIL..
Don't let anyone see your child for the first 6 months of its life esp your MIL...
Throw out all the gifts your MIL has bought for your baby...
Ban your MIL from posting any pics of your baby ...

Just to slightly amend your last one... It's, 'let your hair go grey,' but only if it's a statement about ageing gracefully. Not if it's because, like me, you CBA to faff dyeing it at home because you know you'll just end up with a patchy mess, the bathroom will look like you murdered someone, and you can't afford a pro to do it. Not to mention having to manage the roots every five minutes (my hair grows at one heck of a rate).

I have just committed an MN faux pas. I have admitted to not being arsed to do something/being shit at doing it, as opposed to having a deep, meaningful societal reason for the betterment of womankind, or it being difficult because I am ND.

Totally unnecessarily, quote the OP in the first reply to annoy everybody else.

but only if it's a statement about ageing gracefully

But don't age gracefully too long. Remember, old people are responsible for the downfall of the NHS, housing crisis, global warming, inflation, stagnant wages, etc. Things will magically improve once all those pesky Boomers are gone.

Mumsnet prefers that you stop all medical care around 70ish (earlier if you are a MIL, later if you provide full-time childcare).

If you absolutely (selfishly) insist on living past age 73, the very least you can do is give up your home to a deserving younger person. You do not need that extra bedroom! Besides, you probably have dementia if you're over age 60.

Compile a selection of snotty put-down phrases that can be applied to any subject under discussion.

For example:- “It would appear that English isn't your first language, OP” is a very popular and versatile one.

Oh, come now, 58, that's young, that is. Most of the mums at the school gates in our area are 95 and loving it! It's totally a plot of the evil patriarchy to imagine that women might not be able to conceive past a certain age. There is no biological clock, my grandmother had her last one at 103. It's not remotely selfish, you could get run over by a bus tomorrow, that's just as likely as dying in your 80s when your eldest is only 10....

OK, you've convinced me 🤣

Oh, yes, silly me, forgot that bit.

Always!

Whilst at the same time completely capable of looking after the child you birthed at 49...

Oh, come now, 58, that's young, that is. Most of the mums at the school gates in our area are 95 and loving it! It's totally a plot of the evil patriarchy to imagine that women might not be able to conceive past a certain age. There is no biological clock

Yes! The whole "biological clock" thing is a myth based on outdated science.

And pay no mind to the naysayers - your kids will absolutely adore having an elderly mum! You may have to leave soft play a tad early for a diaper change (yours, not theirs!), but once you get that new hip you'll be good to go!

Maybe he’s having an affair with his female colleague because their attachment styles are better suited.

Also, if you’re considering buying a pet like a cat, make sure to do your due diligence. Check for any red flags, look into any history of interactions (Shagging) with stray animals, and complete a thorough questionnaire to ensure the cat's attachment profile matches yours. We wouldn't want any undue attention like sitting on ones knees or stroking. If the cat wants attention and praise it may well be a narcissist.

Oh, and last but not least, remember to type BLOCK in all capital letters. It makes a significant difference!.

😂