Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

[BearDownThere]

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

It’s all fine. Free choice. Wouldn’t it be nice if the judgement - in both directions - stopped?

Yes apparently so. Women's own choices are invalid, we are controlled by porn! Which makes one wonder how we all have time for mn and aren't all out being pornstars

Full body hair in porn was never cited as the reason why people had full and plentiful body hair irl.

Tbf most people had full and plentiful body hair because that's just what bodies do. It's the removal that's the conscious choice and activity.

Which makes one wonder how we all have time for mn and aren't all out being pornstars

I doubt most women posting here a) want to b) are what pornographers are looking for.

The global hair removal business is worth over 3 billion pounds. The cynic in me would suggest that there is only one driving force in personal grooming. It wouldn’t surprise me if online porn is sponsored by the industry along with influencers in online and published media.

We all know that money drives most trends and fashions otherwise we would all be wearing the same styles as our grandparents and be fully haired.

I remember an observation made by someone re the length of girls hair and for that matter men’s beards. Both appeared on the scene when pubic hair disappeared. Are they subconsciously replacing one with another.

If your DH/DP has a beard but you are shaved how does that work? Facial hair is a massive trend in the under 30s. Like previous generations beards are now going out but big bushy moustaches have taken their place.
I think that a beard or moustache filled with food and stale beer/saliva is far grimmer than a well maintained pubic beard. If you don’t like oral sex with a man with pubic hair how do your feel about kissing a man with a beard.

I’m not trying to be inflammatory but just curious. DH has never grown facial hair so I’m unable to comment via experience.

Just to add, I’m a dentist and experienced with beards close up so I notice what gets caught up in them.

A preference is a preference. There's no way I'd snog a man with a long beard with food bits in it. Yuck. That is MY preference.

It isn't, because the advantage of a hairless vulva in porn is the ability to pause, zoom in and see all the detail which hair conceals.

It's absolutely fine to shave it off or not shave it off. You do you.

But it's not debatable that the reason it's become the fashion is because of pornography, and I, for one, will not feel under any pressure because of the fashions of porn stars.

Can I ask (and I would only ever be able to ask on Mumsnet!) but do all those women who take off all of their pubic hair have neat “innies”? That would explain a lot to me as to why they are comfortable going bare. Or are there any ladies with larger inner labia on show that are also happy to shave it all, and does this get the same reaction, since they cannot possibly look pre-pubescent?

(For the record I’m not quite an “outie” but after childbirth I don’t think it’s pretty enough to go into the world without a bit of cover!)

'But it's not debatable that the reason it's become the fashion is because of pornography, and I, for one, will not feel under any pressure because of the fashions of porn stars.'

How funny that we aren't all going around scantily clad having gang bangs morning noon and night then as porn is sooo influential.

Tbh I think it is hair removal adverts that have more influence than porn sites.

Hair removal adverts are firmly censored not to show a hairless pubic area though, so how would young girls and boys know that it is fashionable to remove everything. It’s not the sort of thing you are comfortable chatting about in your early teens. However, access to online porn is accessible at this age. There’s no point kidding yourself that they don’t have a look and if this is the only image they have of adult young women they are going to follow the trend. They are unlikely to realise that no pubic hair is just limited to porn. Then with social influencers it embeds itself in modern youth culture. And how would young girls know that it’s also a thing that young men are also expected to do?

I had no idea about the lengths some women had to go to with body hair when I was that age. I am blond so don’t have a great deal to cope with. I would do my bikini line so it didn’t poke out of my bikini and underarms but you can’t see the hair on my legs. But I was aware that other girls shave their legs and armpits. Absolutely no idea about the lady gardening until I was in my late teens and read Cosmopolitan. By that stage I was sexually active and there was never any objection or preference from boyfriends.

It wasn’t until a friend of Greek origin did her bikini line in the living room when she was staying with us ( all girl house share) and her bikini line extended down her inner thighs to her knees that I realised I’d got off lightly with body hair.

I always make sure that new partners know that they’re getting whatever I’m serving. That could be a full 70s bush, or somewhat trimmed and manicured, but I will NEVER be bald done there because I’m not a child.

Give it time. Chances are it will all fall out as you get older anyway. Or are we saying old people look like children? 😅

If anything I've found the opposite. Pubic hair grows like wildfire as you get older!

😂😂😂spit it out

Stop watching porn.

Porn vulvas are almost all surgically adapted to suit porn directors.

Most women don't look like that.

@dynamiccactus "A preference is a preference. There's no way I'd snog a man with a long beard with food bits in it. Yuck"

And this is comparable to a woman with pubic hair? Right. I do think the pro-shavers ought sometimes to pause and think before they speak!

A beard is comparable to body hair as it is indeed body hair.

Many men and women wax nowadays. I do think it is odd how big bushy beards are everywhere, we can only hope that like man buns they are a passing fad.

As a HCP I’ve been privy to the nethers of many an elderly person, pubes aren’t as rare as you seem to think, they might be white but they’re there.

@Gloriia
"A beard is comparable to body hair as it is indeed body hair."

You compared pubic hair with "a long beard with food in it. Yuck."

The old "women with pubic hair are dirty" trope. Probably spread by the manufacturers of "intimate cleansing products".

The old women with dirty pubic hair is a trope absolutely dripping with misogyny

Genuinely never felt this pressure
i’m 46

Men and women have body hair. Men and women nowadays wax it isn't anything to do with misogyny. If my dh had a hairy back I'd ask him to wax. Smooth is aesthetically a nicer look.

That’s your opinion.

i don’t think smooth and hairless is a “nicer” look. I really don’t like smooth hairless men with waxed chests. Don’t like the feel of the regrowth either.

Don’t extrapolate your own personal thoughts to the entire human race.

I didn't say 'yuk'. That was a pp I was merely saying that a beard is indeed body hair.

I'm not! I'm actually saying each to their own. However if people have different body hair maintenance routines then that is fine. It isn't anything to do with wanting to be a pornstar or a prebuscsent child.

Please, let women make their own choices. We are all grown ups.