Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

[BearDownThere]

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

interesting.

you do realise many women have “coarse and wiry” head hair?

and that a certain set of women have long experienced discrimination due to their hair not meeting the “soft and shiny” western beauty ideals?

maybe think about what you just said.

I have curly, wiry head hair. I don’t feel the need to shave it all off. In fact my pubic hair is straighter than that on my head.

I’m actually pretty gobsmacked at that post.

it’s essentially racism.

i’d report it but i think it should stay up because it demonstrates how people actually think about hair..

But head hair is usually attractive not coarse and wiry like body hair. If my head hair was like pubic hair I might indeed shave it off and wear a wig.

Wow.

Indeed. That was mind blowing.

OK sorry I didn't mean to insult anyone with wiry hair. It was a badly made point in response to a pp asking why we don't shave our heads. Head hair is attractive, it frames the face.

Many people find body hair unattractive and that is fine, their choice.

I like to think that my pubic hair frames my vulva. My DH has never complained. I would be very disappointed if he felt that either he or I needed to shave. He has noticed that I am gradually balding down there due to age and the hormone blockers I have to take post breast cancer. It actually makes me feel a little vulnerable. Pubic hair is like an extra layer of modesty in my mind.
During puberty, in my generation, the growth of pubic hair was like developing boobs, a sign of maturity and celebrated rather than abhorrent.
But then we didn’t have readily available porn. In the magazines that were available women maintained their pubic hair.
I was lead to believe that removing pubic hair in porn was done to give the viewer a better view.

And so they didn’t have to keep stopping the filming when the actors got pubic hair in their mouths. In real life this is just part of sex, porn has sterilised sex for a whole generation.

I like to think that my pubic hair frames my vulva.

I like the way it softens the look of the whole area. Like if I'm naked standing up, all you'll see is my little triangle of fluff, and not the actual genitals. For me personally, bald looks a bit full on.

This is interesting, because to an extent I like the area to be bald and not hidden with hair to show it off, I suppose. The comment above about modesty is interesting as well.

I don't think porn has sterilised anything. As you say masses of body hair was very present in porn years ago. Now, it isn't as trends change. Men and women have discovered they prefer the trimmed or even hairless look/feel. It is fine.

We'll have mumsnetters complaining in 10yrs that porn is responsible for an upsurge in body hair as it will no doubt come full circle.

We'll have mumsnetters complaining in 10yrs that porn is responsible for an upsurge in body hair as it will no doubt come full circle.

When will that be? I thought that too but no, the bald trend continues. This has been going on since high cut leotards and swimsuits became popular in the 80's. That was 40 years ago!

I don't think porn has sterilised anything. As you say masses of body hair was very present in porn years ago. Now, it isn't as trends change.

No, it's because the porn industry blew up thanks to the internet. Removal of pubes became ubiquitous in porn as it allowed clearer vision of the action, and this then filtered through to general trends.

Porn was an almost quaintly unsophisticated thing a few decades ago.

Porn has definitely sterilised sex and warped peoples views around it, especially men’s unrealistic expectations from women, in regards to sex. But I’m any case, porn dehumanises women, without a doubt.

I doubt whether many women were getting labioplasties for aesthetics prior to the mainstreamification of porn also.

The only reason that posters come back at you (general, the hair-keepers) is because of the continual, moronic statements of wanting to be child-like. Stop doing that and the retaliation will stop.

We're all influenced by something. I bought a Renault Clio (terrible car) because, Thierry Henry. I don't watch porn and it's irritating to keep being told that this is why I remove my pubic hair.

Women who remove their hair really tend not to care what other women do with theirs. Much better that way, live and let live.

Your hair (head) doesn’t have a period or vaginal discharge 🤷🏼‍♀️ and you don’t shit out your ears

I feel cleaner to have it removed. It’s a personal preference and has no bearing on how I feel about the cleanliness of others who do/dont remove.

However there are a great many who have shit between their ears when it comes to personal freedom of choice.

I don’t shave, anywhere. I don’t iron either. I’ve not used an iron since I left home aged 18, prior to which, I’d been doing the family’s ironing for 10 years. Thanks mother. Put me off for life.
Shaving is a generational thing, I think. At least ‘down there’ as per thread title. It’s not dirty not to. I felt dirty when I did. I wasn’t but it felt so. Sticky and sweaty and itchy as hell. Plus the re growth was actually painful as the very short hair trapped in the weave of my knickers and pulled as I walked. Ok..maybe I should have worn loose bloomers , 🤣but I didn’t think of that at the time. 3 weeks of discomfort, anyway and bristly, scratchy complaints from OH.
It’s the same with men and beards. Rare when I was young. Everywhere now. But when the stubbly look was in..yuk it looked, to me, so scruffy, gave my face a rash with kissing , yet many seemed to find it attractive.
Personal choices are just that. Neither is unhygienic. Some people are hairier than others..oh and not everyone gets changes post menopause. My hair is still the same, 20 years on, though starting to grey and everything else functions as it did years before menopause.
As for ‘no one likes pubes’ That is wrong. Men , many men, love pubes and I for one think a hairless male looks weird and I find their hair vital to my pleasure.

It takes all kinds to make a world and vive la difference

' takes all kinds to make a world and vive la difference'

Totally agree.

However we need to stop with all the shaming that women are controlled by porn or people who like a trimmed look are thinking of pre pubescent dc, such an absolutely offensive comparison to make.

Shaving is actually really bad for you, go for a wax. It's not as bad as everyone says and actually does thin things down there.

I didn’t say there was masses of body hair just that it was present. Most women keep it tidy and had the bikini line waxed. Under arm hair was generally removed along with eyebrows.
Now we have the reverse bushy eyebrows and no pubic hair. Also a huge arse was definitely not desirable. It is nice to see that younger men are now wearing jeans that show off their bums rather than them hanging out or so tight that they look ridiculous. There is an interesting theory that men stick with the style of trousers they were wearing at around the age of 28. I’m so glad that DH was wearing classic Levi 501s at 28 and has continued with that style although his arse is a bit non existent now.
DS was wearing skin tight in his early teens but found an old pair of 501s in DH’s wardrobe, at 16/17, that his then girlfriend fell in love with. He has worn the style with great success since then, although is now wearing a slightly baggier style but still high waisted.
Clothing is all about enhancing the body shape. Unfortunately not every body shape lends itself to fashion.

Yes interesting how trends on body shape change too. Is the big bum thing still in? Personally I think it’s a good thing to have a change from just one body type being fashionable, but so far as I could tell the big bums that people want/ed are round but with thin thighs? I.e. most women won’t have that shape naturally and it’s often achieved by BBL? Sigh.

I don't shave there.

However, I really dislike under-arm hair and have removed mine since the very first hair appeared.

Each to their own.

@Gloriia
"However we need to stop with all the shaming that women are controlled by porn or people who like a trimmed look are thinking of pre pubescent dc, such an absolutely offensive comparison to make"

I don't think anyone has said either of those things. However it is inportabt to think about where the trend comes from.

There is, however, plenty of shaming women who do not shave as dirty, smelly, lazy.....