Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

[BearDownThere]

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

Twenty or thirty years ago, I think it would be more unusual for women to receive oral.

You'd be wrong then.

I'm almost 50 and have never felt under pressure to do anything with my pubes. I have never shaved or trimmed and it's not affected me negatively in any way.

I do wonder when people say they shave/tidy/trimmed for hygiene reasons what they mean though. Do you not wash regularly? How does no hair make you more hygienic? I don't think I am unhygienic by having hair. I just wash it the same as any other area of my body. In fact I'm sure the reason we have public hair is to do with hygiene.

Extremely wrong.

I don't know who said this originally as too many comments to go through but are they saying they think oral sex performed on women is a recent invention!

Yes. It feels a bit bleugh 🤢 to me as well. Trimmed yes, all off, no. It’s gone if women want to it for them, but not because a msn wants it.🤷‍♀️

I would never shave. Only one man has ever asked me too. I asked if he was going to shave off all his pubic hair. He said 'No', and I replied, ' Well, there you go, there's my answer.'
The other partners that have commented on it, have expressed relief and pleasure that I have public hair.

Twenty or thirty years ago, I think it would be more unusual for women to receive oral.

Its astonishing that people think this.

You've definitely just proved that you have a mind that is immune to social conditioning. Definitely.

I don't shave there anymore. Haven't for years really. Sometimes I tidy it up a bit if I'm planning on swimming to reduce how much is visible. DH did admit to preferring the shaved look when we were both young but he hasn't mentioned it in years and is very much of the view my body my choice.

I don't know who said this originally as too many comments to go through but are they saying they think oral sex performed on women is a recent invention!

Isn't there a saying about every generation thinking they invented sex?

A lesbian website used to do a thing every year where they would discuss "what's new in sex", you've just reminded me of it. I don't think it was meant to be funny but it always made us laugh.

I definitely don't think it was rare but from talking to some of my mums generation (yes they all talk openly about sex including my mum 🙈) said oral wasn't something they did, just penetrative sex. They weren't prudes, they talked about sex as a great thing but were grossed out at the idea of their mouths down there or vice versa. So not rare but maybe not as commonplace as now.

Yes and according to Philip Larkin it was invented in 1963.

Is someone actually voicing this expectation, or do you just somehow get it from the environment?

Only shaved once, never again! The itching during regrowth was horribly itchy. Spent most of my holiday standing in the sea for relief.

I definitely don't think it was rare but from talking to some of my mums generation (yes they all talk openly about sex including my mum 🙈) said oral wasn't something they did, just penetrative sex. They weren't prudes, they talked about sex as a great thing but were grossed out at the idea of their mouths down there or vice versa. So not rare but maybe not as commonplace as now.

How old is your mum? I mean, I'm 50ish so came of age in the 90s and no-one I know was grossed out by oral, it was completely normal.

https://www.healthline.com/health/purpose-of-pubic-hair#hair-growth

Pubic hair actually serves a lot of purposes.

I'm not trying to do anything.

You've stated you shaved your pubic hair at the same time as stating you think it has links to pedophilia.

That's on you and no-one else.

I don’t know much about class, Vinni. You think women with financial respurces have more pubic hair than those who don’t? Richer women have gun dogs and a terrier in their pants?

What on earth would make you think a man is a paedophile because he prefers a WOMAN, with boobs and hips and a body thats clearly a womans, to shave?

If you feel the only thing that makes a child a child is no hair, then you have more issues than a man who prefers a woman to shave.

You think women with financial respurces have more pubic hair than those who don’t?

The very groomed look eg microbladed, lip filled, hair extensions, long nail extensions, is very working-class coded so I'm think extreme hair removal would be likewise.

I was a teen in the early 90's and shaving your pubes off definitely wasn't a thing with any of the girls at 15/16 at least. I do remember my first BF at 17 saying he didn't like it as it was child like though. He was definitely up for oral sex!

I've shaved it all off once or twice and regretted it! Never again, now a bit of a trim every now and then and swim shorts.

Sorry I guess I'm mixing generations, my mum and her friends were coming of age 50 years ago but were still regularly having sex 20/30 years ago.

That’s really interesting, I’d never thought of that.

I stay on an estate that has a lot of nail bars and wax bars, the neighbouring posher one only has a hairdressers.

@Disturbia81

I definitely don't think it was rare but from talking to some of my mums generation (yes they all talk openly about sex including my mum 🙈) said oral wasn't something they did, just penetrative sex. They weren't prudes, they talked about sex as a great thing but were grossed out at the idea of their mouths down there or vice versa. So not rare but maybe not as commonplace as now.

It's not generational for goodness sake. There are still people now who don't like to give or receive oral.

It was happening long before your mother's generation.