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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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hotpotlover · 14/10/2024 20:24

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I'm from Germany - homeschooling is illegal in my country.

I've always been amazed that basically anyone in the UK can decide to home school.

Chowtime · 14/10/2024 20:25

I don't think her brother would make a good witness anyway. He will surely have his own issues. |He's lost his mother when his father got custody of him, then he lost his sister, now the authorities want him to stand up in court and testify against his father? He's in an awful position.

NiggleNoggle · 14/10/2024 20:25

@IdrisElbow unfortunately many councils have no lists and if they have them they are voluntary. There is no yearly inspection either:

"Some local authorities in the UK keep lists of home-schooled children through voluntary registration schemes. However, there is no legal requirement for parents to register their children or inform the local authority that their child is being home educated."

greenday16B · 14/10/2024 20:25

The whole 'home schooling' thing is just an absolute shit show

ABSOLUTELY

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 14/10/2024 20:26

Saw some other photos of this lovely little girl, looks like she was out in a park playing. She looked so vibrant and full of life.
I will never understand this nor will I ever comprehend a woman’s involvement in child abuse and murder.
As I am in my 50’s I find I get shocked just as much but despair as to what can be done. It seems these vile ‘people’ are amongst us, nothing stops them.
Abusing and killing your own child, someone you have watched come into the world, and you have put them through this hell.
I never used to believe in the death penalty, and I understand in the ‘old’ days people were killed who were innocent, but when I see child killers like these, anywhere on this earth is too good for them.

crumblingschools · 14/10/2024 20:26

Teachers do care if children are taken out of school, especially those they are worried about

EasternStandard · 14/10/2024 20:26

hotpotlover · 14/10/2024 20:24

I'm from Germany - homeschooling is illegal in my country.

I've always been amazed that basically anyone in the UK can decide to home school.

I think your country has the right idea

pompey38 · 14/10/2024 20:27

Justwanttocheck · 14/10/2024 18:22

Where was her biological mother ?

Most probably in Poland, she lost custody of her kids in favour of the father , so she must be pretty bad herself, all people/institutions as bad as each other

NiggleNoggle · 14/10/2024 20:28

The issue isn't that she was homeschooled (I doubt she was learning anything), it was that all the agencies involved didn't see red flags when she was taken out of school.

Wellingtonspie · 14/10/2024 20:29

hotpotlover · 14/10/2024 20:17

My husband said that Sara's father probably hated his ex wife and took it out on Sara.

I was thinking the same thing looked or had mums personality too much. So she was Cinderella and abused.

IdrisElbow · 14/10/2024 20:31

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greenday16B · 14/10/2024 20:32

crumblingschools · 14/10/2024 20:26

Teachers do care if children are taken out of school, especially those they are worried about

I'm sorry but I can telll you differently. And no blame here. I was working with refugee famiies and a deal was struck ( let's be honest) to put them into a school.
Several disappeared overnight. Not a word from anyone.
Common sense has left the building.

Chowtime · 14/10/2024 20:34

Wellingtonspie · 14/10/2024 20:29

I was thinking the same thing looked or had mums personality too much. So she was Cinderella and abused.

I think "Cinderella" is probably a very accurate description. The step-mother had 4 younger children and needed a lot of help so that was likely the real reason why she was taken out of school.

Not for one minute do I believe anyone in that house tried to educate her. They just wanted a domestic. And I won't say what I think the uncle's role in all this was as I'll probably be banned but I've got my suspicions..

Wellingtonspie · 14/10/2024 20:35

I know a family where one by one all children have disappeared from being schooled. To start with it looked like the right choice because school genuinely didn’t seem to fit their sen child.

Then magically over the next 2 years, all the other children have dropped out. The parents are certainly not the brightest bulbs. More the everything that exists is wrong with me types. Hopefully their other family members are keeping a close eye.

greenday16B · 14/10/2024 20:35

Bodeganights · 14/10/2024 20:05

You know it will be the exact reason and you know "lessons have been learned" until the next Sara, the next baby p, the next Victoria climbie et al.

Lack of resources. No centralised services.

Cinnabun10 · 14/10/2024 20:35

I've been through family court. My abusive ex gained 50/50 and CAFCASS believed all his lies. He painted me to be the abuser when in fact it was him for all those years. The court system needs a change I am so angry that this happened to the poor girl.
In safeguarding too where on earth was the school, where were the welfare checks. Social service where were they? You can't tell me there was nothing on this girls safeguarding file.
However it will all be "lessons learned" and become some case study now.
Too late should have been dealt with properly. Gives me no hope in any services that are suppose to protect children

Dontlletmedownbruce · 14/10/2024 20:36

@IdrisElbow I couldn't agree more re home schooling. The fact that someone opts out of mainstream society is a red flag in itself. On a practical note, no one with that many young kids at home would have the capacity to spend time doing school work with a child that age.

@TashaTudor your post made me gasp in horror. I really wish you the best.

StMarieforme · 14/10/2024 20:38

PrincessofWells · 14/10/2024 18:13

Male violence against a female yet again. There's something fundamentally wrong in this world.

It reads as though the step mother joined in. She is the only one who refused to give a dental example and the 2 men were cleared of the bites on the poor girl.

StMarieforme · 14/10/2024 20:38

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 14/10/2024 18:20

And all the other adults who stood back whilst he beat the fuck out of her.
Why didn't her school send ss round? Absent from school for 4 months

They joined in, make no mistake.

greenday16B · 14/10/2024 20:39

BlushingBrightly · 14/10/2024 19:45

RIP Sara. I hope proper justice finds each of these evil people.

It's worth remembering Sara every time someone posts on here that they have doubts about how a child is being treated, followed by a river of posts saying best not interfere, keep your nose out, parents probably doing their best, having a bad time, walk a mile in their shoes, and all that. People may have said that about Sara and felt it would be wrong to interfere.

I swear to God, I interfere. I look stupid but I do.

StMarieforme · 14/10/2024 20:39

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 14/10/2024 18:20

And all the other adults who stood back whilst he beat the fuck out of her.
Why didn't her school send ss round? Absent from school for 4 months

Withdrawn from the register for 'homeschooling'.

How many more will be falling through this loophole?

mrshoho · 14/10/2024 20:40

Safeguarding of children is not working. These appalling cases are allowed to happen time and time again.

I sincerely hope these sick fuckers rot in hell. I wish them a lifetime of pain and suffering.

Rest in peace beautiful Sara. You were failed by every adult involved in your care. It is shameful in this day and age.

greenday16B · 14/10/2024 20:41

N4ish · 14/10/2024 19:17

There needs to be a register of home schooled children so Councils are forced to keep track of them and monitor their welfare. The law allowing adults to hit children also needs to be changed so abusers like this can't claim they were legally punishing their children.

Joke, who will pay? Its an absolute disgrace.

safetyfreak · 14/10/2024 20:43

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Yes, homeschooling kids are under the radar.

I wonder if there another way for them to be protected and more noticed?

greenday16B · 14/10/2024 20:43

StMarieforme · 14/10/2024 20:39

Withdrawn from the register for 'homeschooling'.

How many more will be falling through this loophole?

How can anybody,let alone a girl who is just about to hit puberty be " withdrawn"

Actually forget that. I live in a middle class suburb. My friend's son doesn't do school ,nobody cares.