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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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24
Coruscations · 19/10/2024 09:33

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 23:03

When I wasn't younger I used to passionately argue against the death penalty but for crimes I'd this nature I can't see who benefits from the perps living?

Happily the test of whether we're allowed to stay alive is not whether anyone benefits from it. Otherwise we would be euthanising people regularly for being a bit of a burden on society.

Demonhunter · 19/10/2024 09:35

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:21

@Demonhunter it's something that needs to have a spot light shone on it..

2 older children and all those younger children it doesn't make any senses at all.

100% agree. I know they're secret to protect the identities of the children, but there must be a change, there must be an overhaul so that parents who are being treated unfairly and when it's cases of known or suspected abuse, they should not be in contempt of court for speaking out publicly.

greenday16B · 19/10/2024 09:55

Child appears with bruises at school. Child gives evasive answers. Child then leaves school and is killed.

Unbelievable really.

Peonies007 · 19/10/2024 10:08

It's everywhere...
4 kids under 5 in this home, they were found in time but no one seems to be doing anything (US)
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13977441/Rosie-ODonnell-daughter-Chelsea-arrested-child-neglect-baby-near-meth-pipe.html?ico=article_preview_xp_mobile

Jukeboxjive · 19/10/2024 11:05

The "sass" that the teachers reported were probably her trying to protect her self and have boundaries.

Some of the most challenging teens I have worked with are the one who had extremely troubled background. It was them trying to protect themselves.

Jukeboxjive · 19/10/2024 11:06

Re judges there needs to be transparency, which judges sentencing children back to a violent father, which judges don't like to bear shout violence??

White are they? Why not??

Jukeboxjive · 19/10/2024 11:08

@Coruscations

"being a bit of s burden on society" is a long way away from a psycho torturing a child

PrincessScarlett · 19/10/2024 12:34

It makes me feel physically sick that all those neighbours stood by and did nothing despite hearing weeks of screaming, crying and noises. We're not talking of a one off incident here. It was fucking weeks!! What the hell is wrong with people? They should hang their heads in shame.

However, there is a serious problem with social services and until that is addressed these cases are going to keep happening. My sibling used to be a social worker working with abused children. Went into the job wanting to save children and make a difference. Very quickly realised that due to a severe lack of funding and the ridiculous legalities of only removing children from abusive families as a last resort, that they were completely failing these children. The workloads are so huge due to other social workers being off work with the stress of the job so not enough time is given to each individual child. There needs to be a major overhaul and serious investment in social services for vulnerable children to stand any chance.

placemats · 01/11/2024 14:16

Reading reports of the court is highly upsetting especially for Sara and what she went through. Her torture at the hands of her father are unimaginable. For me as a 13 year old I witnessed abuse in my household and refused one PE session to undress. I was adamant not to do it because I was beaten black and blue by my father. He put me over his knees to use the black belt on my buttocks and thighs. My lovely PE teacher understood my reluctance and said after I showed her my bruises in private that what he did was awful and could I report it. Well of course I wasn't going to do that.

roxyro · 01/11/2024 14:54

I can’t believe how thick some ppl are. The sister keeps telling her to read the Quoran when she’s telling her the horrors poor Sara is going through. WTF? Just call the police, take her to hospital, anything. I’m appalled at their level of stupid.

placemats · 01/11/2024 15:01

You've no idea about abuse by a man within a family household. Everyone is terrified. She was fearful of losing her children. The person dishing out the abuse is enjoying it. No support from her sisters.

@roxyro

ClareBlue · 01/11/2024 15:02

SuperGreens · 14/10/2024 18:24

What utter animals. I hope they never get out of prison.

No animal tortures their off spring. Only humans do this.

Lifeomars · 01/11/2024 15:15

I have cried reading about the relentless hell that poor girl was put through. It must be horrendous for the jury and in fact all the court staff having to hear the evidence. Surely the people on the jury will be excused from ever being called to do jury service again.

roxyro · 01/11/2024 15:30

placemats · 01/11/2024 15:01

You've no idea about abuse by a man within a family household. Everyone is terrified. She was fearful of losing her children. The person dishing out the abuse is enjoying it. No support from her sisters.

@roxyro

Oh you are so wrong. I am very well acquainted with abuse within the family.

My post was more about the idiot sist who kept telling her to read the Quoran instead of doing something practical. More than likely, given their ethnicity, it was more important to keep face and not bring shame on the family.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 01/11/2024 15:36

TashaTudor · 14/10/2024 18:51

I needed access to my medical records recently and it's recorded on there that I was raped and sexually abused by my father for years. I was forced to see him every weekend for a further 2 years after it was noted, missed every Monday off school and unable to walk. I was 9 years old and it's taken a lot of therapy knowing it was on my medical record and nobody cared. Unfortunately I don't think things will ever change.

Rest in peace beautiful girl

So so sorry that no adult stepped in, as they should. You are very brave to tell your tale on here. Hope you have found some peace and love.

Peonies007 · 01/11/2024 15:39

I think there is a lot that can't be reported until after trial. Some very horrible things. Poor thing

also this
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14029867/Murdered-Sara-Sharif-social-services-bruises.html?ico=article_preview_xp_mobile

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 01/11/2024 15:42

HaveYouSeenRain · 14/10/2024 19:57

For those asking about siblings, this was reported 9 months ago. Could have changed since then of course

The older brother and half-siblings of the 10-year-old schoolgirl Sara Sharif, who was found dead at the home of her father and stepmother in August, have been made wards of court in this country.
Despite efforts by Surrey county council to secure their return to the UK, all five children, aged one to 13, remain in Pakistan where they were taken by their father, Urfan Sharif, and the mother of the younger four siblings, Beinash Batool, the day before Sara’s body was discovered by police on 10 August.

The government need to get them back to the UK to.protect them. They are vulnerable UK citizens.

Jukeboxjive · 01/11/2024 15:57

@Peonies007 like what?? I mean how awful can it get for goodness sake.

You mean about the wife?

Staggering the victim blaming and mentality of the sister who repeatedly tells her to control sara or get her to control herself.
This went on for years. The sister was in a removed position safe to report it without anyone knowing who did it. Even to the school.
Why didn't she?.
All this acceptance of this ape man, pussy footing around this dangerous man?

Peonies007 · 01/11/2024 16:17

Jukeboxjive · 01/11/2024 15:57

@Peonies007 like what?? I mean how awful can it get for goodness sake.

You mean about the wife?

Staggering the victim blaming and mentality of the sister who repeatedly tells her to control sara or get her to control herself.
This went on for years. The sister was in a removed position safe to report it without anyone knowing who did it. Even to the school.
Why didn't she?.
All this acceptance of this ape man, pussy footing around this dangerous man?

The types and place of injuries she has means she might have been tortured like a Guantanamo prisoner, among others.

Sensitive content
Jesus Christ will this never end [Content warning: concerns child abuse]
Jukeboxjive · 01/11/2024 16:36

@Peonies007 thanks.
. I was thinking about other stuff around the adults you may want to ask to get the pic deleted

hotpotlover · 03/11/2024 08:08

I read somewhere that the children are in care in Pakistan at the moment, in a children's home.

HaveYouSeenRain · 03/11/2024 08:27

hotpotlover · 03/11/2024 08:08

I read somewhere that the children are in care in Pakistan at the moment, in a children's home.

Those places will be utterly grim. Poor children

hotpotlover · 03/11/2024 09:39

HaveYouSeenRain · 03/11/2024 08:27

Those places will be utterly grim. Poor children

True, but it might be the safest place for them to be at the moment, while the UK court application is under way to bring them back.

The family might hide them to prevent a return to the UK if the application is granted

PumpkinSpicePie · 03/11/2024 19:45

I wouldn't trust the grandfather to look after them. The dad learned that violence from somewhere.