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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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golf7 · 18/10/2024 16:52

GiveMeSpanakopita · 18/10/2024 13:51

Oh I don't know. HMP Styal is notorious for prisoners meting out justice - it's where Savannah Brockhill got the boiling sugar water treatment last year.

And in the men's estate, that evil beast Ian Watkins got one hour's torture from fellow lags which nearly killed him - and that was allegedly with the cooperation of a guard.

As per the Ian Watkins case, absolutely nonces and other beast types are meant to be kept separate but a lot of prison guards have shall we say half a foot in the murky criminal underworld too and they can be financially persuaded to 'forget' and leave a particularly notorious con in with gen pop for an hour or so.

Total complete and utter bollocks !

Valeriekat · 18/10/2024 18:09

greenday16B · 14/10/2024 20:24

Why are children allowed to go missing from school?
Rhetorical....because teachers just don't have time to care.

That is not the teachers job. The attendance register is completed so the data exists. It is for other agencies to decide what to do with that information.
I am a supporter of Home Schooling because I do think that schools can be totally unsuitable for certain children.
However I was under the impression that once children had enrolled with a Local Authority that it was then difficult to remove them from the education system.

Valeriekat · 18/10/2024 18:21

Councilworker · 14/10/2024 20:55

With children who are home educated, the school is supposed to notify the Local Authority if a child is withdrawn for home education and her education record updated. There should be a written notification of this from the parent. The council I work for checks health and social care records as well as makes contact with the parents to see if a suitable education is being provided. Then an annual check on the suitability of the education but the children don't have to be seen. Some parents are great and very open and welcome being put in touch with groups and other resources. Other parents will just send details of their education plans and refuse to allow visits by any LA representatives which are the cases that make me worry. If the child has never been in a school then we don't know about them at all.
In my LA we have seen numbers go up from about 120 to over 800 in the last three years. A mix of not getting school preference, anxiety and the relationship breaking down with the school.

It is SS issue not an education issue.
If parents are neglecting/abusing children they are certainly not going to be educating them in any form.
Just because home school parents don't educate in the same way schools do doesn't necessarily mean they are doing a bad job.

Peonies007 · 18/10/2024 18:54

Hotdogsarevile · 14/10/2024 18:02

Sorry for the daily mail link but Jesus fucking Christ this is beyond awful

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13958665/sara-sharif-burned-tied-bite-marks-murder-trial.html

when will this ever end?

In Surrey, the way it works is we have LSPA where all the enquiries to do with SS/SEN etc go. The school seemingly took advice and were told to contact SS. They presumably did because she was 'known to services'.
I think where it went wrong was when they pulled her from school, the process x 2 Surrey have in place either didn't work or SS approved it. Essentially what is meant to happen is 1) team A at Surrey checks that the parents are happy and know what they are signing up for (some think that tutor will be provided etc) and that the child wasn't off - rolled. 2) team B (EHE team) checks that education is suitable. This as I gather includes safeguarding history. I would have though with school notification to SS, her age and background (they marry them off young sometimes), the fact that she started wearing hijab etcetc would have raised some serious red flags.
Her EHE officer would be same as mine, she is nice, but I know that prior to her starting last year they had several positions open and a backlog of kids, who they haven't contacted about.
I know bc my thirdborn wasn't on their radar until this year, even though he finished preschool in Aug 2022.
Since this year they doubled the team so I guess Sara is the reason.
But like people said, it was summer holiday, even being in school wouldn't have helped.
I certainly haven't seen Sara and we walked a few yards to where she lived at least dozen times a week, never met her in any playground or any social groups. She lived a few yards away from a junior school (different one she attended), there are parents always around that area, although again it was holiday, so lots of people away.

Jesus Christ will this never end [Content warning: concerns child abuse]
Demonhunter · 18/10/2024 19:01

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 14/10/2024 18:29

Family court gave her to her dad instead, and she says him and step mother made it more and more difficult for her to see her.
Horrific.

Omfg! Yet another case of family courts having blood on their hands! Why the hell do these abusive parents manage to manipulate so many judges! Or are the judges just plain sadists!

That poor,poor little girl and her poor mother being able to do nothing to protect her because of these backward family laws!

Peonies007 · 18/10/2024 19:05

Demonhunter · 18/10/2024 19:01

Omfg! Yet another case of family courts having blood on their hands! Why the hell do these abusive parents manage to manipulate so many judges! Or are the judges just plain sadists!

That poor,poor little girl and her poor mother being able to do nothing to protect her because of these backward family laws!

They often do that. Am I allowed to post a polish newspaper link on here where Sara's mum says what happened? I'm not sure how to tag admin?

Demonhunter · 18/10/2024 19:13

Peonies007 · 18/10/2024 19:05

They often do that. Am I allowed to post a polish newspaper link on here where Sara's mum says what happened? I'm not sure how to tag admin?

You could give the name of it rather than a link as I've often found links to less common sites get hidden by admin.

GivingitToGod · 18/10/2024 19:14

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 14/10/2024 18:20

And all the other adults who stood back whilst he beat the fuck out of her.
Why didn't her school send ss round? Absent from school for 4 months

THIS!If that wasn't a red flag, what is?????????
Someone needs to be held accountable for this.
No doubt another major enquiry and 'lessons will be learnt'.
May Sara RIP

Allofthelightsss · 18/10/2024 19:40

GivingitToGod · 18/10/2024 19:14

THIS!If that wasn't a red flag, what is?????????
Someone needs to be held accountable for this.
No doubt another major enquiry and 'lessons will be learnt'.
May Sara RIP

She wasn’t “missing” from school for 4 months, they de-registered her and said she was being homeschooled. Not that it’s any excuse, they’d seen bruising on her face while she was there.

GivingitToGod · 18/10/2024 20:10

Allofthelightsss · 18/10/2024 19:40

She wasn’t “missing” from school for 4 months, they de-registered her and said she was being homeschooled. Not that it’s any excuse, they’d seen bruising on her face while she was there.

Thank you, shocking news

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:11

@Peonies007 why wouldn't you be allowed? People post links left right and center.

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:21

@Demonhunter it's something that needs to have a spot light shone on it..

2 older children and all those younger children it doesn't make any senses at all.

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:26

@Peonies007 Arghhhhhhh OK.

But if the mum has given this interview, is that relevant?.. Can you name the paper?

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:31

There is actually footage of step mum saying her family is in hiding and food has run out for small children, they fear the or safety and are going to come back and fight thier case in court

Peonies007 · 18/10/2024 21:49

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:26

@Peonies007 Arghhhhhhh OK.

But if the mum has given this interview, is that relevant?.. Can you name the paper?

Uwaga tv. It's tv but has a transcript of interview from last year. In polish.

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:53

Ok thanks

I'm very interested in the family court element of this, somethings is clearly going very wrong.
There is something fundamentally skewed in our entire court judge systems

We are just not protecting children enough and punishing those who harm them enough.

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:54

So she had equal rights to see them?

Peonies007 · 18/10/2024 22:01

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:54

So she had equal rights to see them?

He won custody in 2019 but she had visitation rights. Which then trickled to nothing.
Family courts sadly often side with wrong party. She was foreign, couldn't probably afford a lawyer, etc
I'm originally from that part if world and children are everything.

Peonies007 · 18/10/2024 22:07

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 21:54

So she had equal rights to see them?

Not necessarily relevant to this case but good overview
www.london.gov.uk/press-releases/mayoral/claire-waxman-says-survivors-of-abuse-are-at-risk

PumpkinSpicePie · 18/10/2024 22:07

GivingitToGod · 18/10/2024 19:14

THIS!If that wasn't a red flag, what is?????????
Someone needs to be held accountable for this.
No doubt another major enquiry and 'lessons will be learnt'.
May Sara RIP

I think the school did report it to social services. SS were the ones that needed to be following it up once she'd been removed from school.

Brinny · 18/10/2024 22:54

RogueFemale · 16/10/2024 01:11

No. Killing people is not a solution. You haven't thought it through.

I think I have , sorry to disagree , but its my opinion, but killing children is not ok.and the perpetrator deserve to live ? Do they deserve a second chance where the child has none.

Jukeboxjive · 18/10/2024 23:03

When I wasn't younger I used to passionately argue against the death penalty but for crimes I'd this nature I can't see who benefits from the perps living?

greenday16B · 19/10/2024 09:22

I disagree about it's not the teachers fault. By this I mean if the whole system was a lot kinder, and less results driven a teacher might have the time and energy to think " What has happened to pupil X, I will make some enquiries"

Instead of which they are working a 70 hour week forcing children to reach targets.
Primary schools should be safe and nuturing places.
Children should not be " disappearing"

Coruscations · 19/10/2024 09:31

Brinny · 18/10/2024 22:54

I think I have , sorry to disagree , but its my opinion, but killing children is not ok.and the perpetrator deserve to live ? Do they deserve a second chance where the child has none.

It's not a second chance, and it's not as if killing them brings the child back to life.

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