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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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24
ZippyDenimBear · 14/10/2024 23:33

TashaTudor · 14/10/2024 18:51

I needed access to my medical records recently and it's recorded on there that I was raped and sexually abused by my father for years. I was forced to see him every weekend for a further 2 years after it was noted, missed every Monday off school and unable to walk. I was 9 years old and it's taken a lot of therapy knowing it was on my medical record and nobody cared. Unfortunately I don't think things will ever change.

Rest in peace beautiful girl

I'm so so sorry for what you went through and hope you've found some well deserved peace since then 💐

averitablevampire · 15/10/2024 00:17

I doubt the poor wee might was naughty at all.
It wasn't punishment, it was a sustained attack / assault, probably perpetrated by all the adults, for weeks on end before finally resulting in her death. She would quickly have become too fearful to put so much as a toe out of line, accidentally knocking over her cereal bowl would probably have resulted in immediate retribution. They tortured her, and probably took delight in doing so. All three should be used for vivisection or drug trials. Utter, utter bastards.
The judge who sent her to live with her father needs investigating, how many other children are also suffering, because the judge has favoured abusive arsewipes? This needs to shine a bloody massive spotlight on the family courts.

viques · 15/10/2024 00:25

PrincessofWells · 14/10/2024 22:39

He admitted killing her.

He admitted that in a call to an emergency call handler. That is not the same as admitting in a formal police interview where you have been cautioned. This might have happened when they returned to the UK, but we don’t know .

Feckingwrecled · 15/10/2024 00:49

TashaTudor · 14/10/2024 18:51

I needed access to my medical records recently and it's recorded on there that I was raped and sexually abused by my father for years. I was forced to see him every weekend for a further 2 years after it was noted, missed every Monday off school and unable to walk. I was 9 years old and it's taken a lot of therapy knowing it was on my medical record and nobody cared. Unfortunately I don't think things will ever change.

Rest in peace beautiful girl

@TashaTudor I am so sorry that you suffered this horrific childhood. I hope the perpetuators and anyone who supported them die screaming and go straight to hell.

Wellingtonspie · 15/10/2024 07:09

Lifeomars · 14/10/2024 22:30

I read somewhere that the presence in a household of a partner who is not biologically related to a child is a very high risk factor for potential abuse. This certainly seems to be borne out by all these appalling cases of abuse and murder

Yes a lot of not most of these cases tend to involve a stepparent with the biological turning a blind eye or even encouraging.

greenday16B · 15/10/2024 09:23

Mookie81 · 14/10/2024 23:13

Oh piss off.
She was taken out for homeschooling. If a parent requests it, the council's home schooling team 'assesses' then informs the school and we have to take them off roll. From that point we no longer have any responsibility and therefore we cannot enquire, contact or make referrals as they're not our pupil any more. It's bugger all to do with not caring. The problem is we do care, which is why we get taken advantage of like all the other caring professions.

Excuse me! Please do not tell me to piss off. The point I was making ( perhaps poorly) is that school staff are so busy with targets that they don't have time for common sense following up of missing children.

I have seem this with my own eyes. Families disappearing in the middle of the night. End of.Nobody notices.

BeckyAMumsnet · 15/10/2024 09:31

We're just dropping in to remind you that this is a current court case. As such, we may remove posts that speculate about the case or those involved.

More information on contempt of court can be found here

Contempt of court

What being in 'contempt of court' means, who can be in contempt of court, what the consequences are, how to report it, how to avoid it on social media (such as Twitter and Facebook).

https://www.gov.uk/contempt-of-court

papadontpreach2me · 15/10/2024 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MulinoDarco · 15/10/2024 10:17

Wellingtonspie · 15/10/2024 07:09

Yes a lot of not most of these cases tend to involve a stepparent with the biological turning a blind eye or even encouraging.

Arthur Labinjo Hughes
Star Hobson
Logan Mwangi
Sebastian Kolonowski
Baby P
...

greenday16B · 15/10/2024 11:22

Maybe it's less about step parents and more about chaotic families who move around and evade ( what few) checks there are?

MulinoDarco · 15/10/2024 11:26

Cozzadelsol · 14/10/2024 21:35

He knows the difference. He is just one devious, evil bastard, who knows he will get a pittance of a sentence in the UK and also be housed in a comfy prison where he'll probably be in a special wing for these types

Exactly. He'll be in the comfy prison for a little bit alongside Arthur's murderer Hughes, and that bitch step mom next to the pink cell of Emma Tustin, they'll watch telly together. Death penalty for child abusers needed. I don't want my taxes to go to their room deco.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 15/10/2024 11:38

dutysuite · 14/10/2024 21:21

Yes I wondered how the step “mother” got away with not giving teeth impressions.

She's under no obligation to do anything that might incriminate or implicate herself.

Fingerprinting is different, because that's a standard after arrest, but in the course of a police investigation it's up to police to gather evidence which supports a case. Refusing to provide a dental impression is no different to refusing to engage under interview and simply "no comment"ing your way through.

hotpotlover · 15/10/2024 12:09

I always thought I was against the death penalty.

Then there was this case in 2000 when a German couple and their 2 kids were stabbed to death inside their house in China by burglars.

I think the murders happened in April, the burglars received the death penalty sentence in July after a 1-hour court session and the death penalty was executed in September the same year.

When I read about it, I noticed that I didn't really care and that it gave me an odd sense of satisfaction that they were executed so quickly.

I think we do need the death penalty in cases like Sara that are atrocious and where the evidence is very strong. I believe it should be executed very quickly, within a year after sentence.

NPET · 15/10/2024 12:19

PrincessofWells · 14/10/2024 18:13

Male violence against a female yet again. There's something fundamentally wrong in this world.

I'll suggest what's wrong. The FACT that men get away with literally murder and - I was going to say NO-ONE, but HARDLY ANYONE - bats an eyelid.
No man - sorry NO-ONE WITH A P - should be allowed to even TALK to me unless I talk to them first!!

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 15/10/2024 12:25

MulinoDarco · 15/10/2024 10:17

Arthur Labinjo Hughes
Star Hobson
Logan Mwangi
Sebastian Kolonowski
Baby P
...

Daniel Pelka
Kyra Ishak

Wellingtonspie · 15/10/2024 12:30

greenday16B · 15/10/2024 11:22

Maybe it's less about step parents and more about chaotic families who move around and evade ( what few) checks there are?

more likely to have a step parent in a chaotic family too though.

Not that all step families are chaotic but honestly most of them are not actually in the child’s best interests.

greenday16B · 15/10/2024 12:36

Mookie81 · 14/10/2024 23:20

Exactly, who will pay? Social services can be woeful, as a safeguarding lead I've had many dealings with them and a lot of it is ridiculous.
But there has been years of underfunding and understaffing. The threshold for intervention is insanely high nowadays because of this. But people complain about means testing WFPs, taxing private schools, rich people threaten to leave the UK to avoid more tax, and any other ways of raising money and then wonder why things don't improve. It takes money!

It takes money and it takes valueing people. Its an absolute scandal. Things were never perfect but the deliberate running down of services stinks.

greenday16B · 15/10/2024 12:37

Threatening to leave the UK ? hang your heads in shame. Disgusting people.

Fluffyelephant · 15/10/2024 12:40

This is exactly why home schooling should not be allowed in 99% of circumstances.

Being legally required to send your child into school each day where other trusted adults in a safe space can see and interact with them can make all the difference between abuse being picked up or hidden.

And that's why once the school started asking questions they've just taken her out altogether.

It does also sound like her school or local SS should have done more but that's a separate issue to be investigated.

greenday16B · 15/10/2024 12:42

Ive just read that a neighbour heard smacking and screaming coming from the house. How can you hear smacking through a wall? Why didn't she say something.

SantasRubiksCube · 15/10/2024 12:45

I couldn't bring myself to read the article, child abuse is one of the most horrific things anyone could do and it makes me sick that a child's last moments alive are full of pain, fear and the feeling that no one cares enough to come and help them. That poor little girl.

Fluffyelephant · 15/10/2024 12:46

greenday16B · 15/10/2024 12:42

Ive just read that a neighbour heard smacking and screaming coming from the house. How can you hear smacking through a wall? Why didn't she say something.

I read that too. So upsetting.

Either the neighbour has been an idiot in not reporting it or the social services have dropped the ball in their investigations.

greenday16B · 15/10/2024 13:17

Fluffyelephant · 15/10/2024 12:46

I read that too. So upsetting.

Either the neighbour has been an idiot in not reporting it or the social services have dropped the ball in their investigations.

I suppose we try to place ourselves in their shoes ( the neighbour) Pointless.

TealSwan · 15/10/2024 13:22

They need hanging. Disgusting por poor girl it awful.made me feel sick reading about it.

Moonlightdust · 15/10/2024 13:25

More has come out today about the constant cries of a child heard by neighbours, horrific verbal abuse towards the child heard through the walls, smacking heard, screams, banging and rattling.
Shame on every single one of you who ignored that poor child. I hope you can’t sleep at night.