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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband has secretly given kids an e-scooter

134 replies

PortaRoast · 22/08/2024 11:09

The title says it all really. I found out from a friend last night that my kids have an e-scooter and that at least one of them has been using it while I'm at work. It turns out DH bought it for them on Saturday and decided not to tell me.

I've always said absolutely no to getting one because they're illegal to use on the road and (in my opinion) very dangerous for kids to be on. Our kids are 14 and 17.

If I put my foot down and make him get rid of it the kids will be upset with me, but I don't want to allow them to use it either. I don't know how to handle this and I'm absolutely furious that this has been done behind my back.

So, AIBU for being so angry with DH or is it no big deal and do I need to chill about it?

OP posts:
coffeenootropics · 22/08/2024 11:12

huh?

where is it being stored?

TeapotCollection · 22/08/2024 11:14

Find it and confiscate it, they’ll wonder where the heck it’s gone

SaintHonoria · 22/08/2024 11:19

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Original poster
PortaRoast · 22/08/2024 11:20

coffeenootropics · 22/08/2024 11:12

huh?

where is it being stored?

I presume it's in the garage. I've not had any reason to go in there.

If I confiscate it the kids will see me as the bad guy that spoils all the fun.

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 22/08/2024 11:21

What if it 'got nicked'?

Perhaps the garage wasn't quite shut properly and it vanishes.

Would be at least interesting to see if he or they would fess up to you.

Enko · 22/08/2024 11:22

So let them see you as the bad guy. If they tell you ask them why they feel.its acceptable to keep secrets they all knew you would not be ok about.

They will be piddled yes but it will also ensure they know you stand by your values that's a good safe thing.

CatamaranViper · 22/08/2024 11:23

Or, claim someone has abandoned a clearly stolen scooter at your house and 'turn it into the police'?

comedycentral · 22/08/2024 11:25

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It's a bit unfair to use the chav label, in some cities they are a big part of travel infrastructure. I'm not a huge fan of them where they aren't used safely though. I recently visited Spain and they had dedicated lanes in some areas for scooter and bike travel.

GladAllOver · 22/08/2024 11:25

Is it being charged while in the garage? That's a definite fire risk.

Gilbertwasawuss · 22/08/2024 11:25

Leave DH and they can use it at his house.

I despise parents who tell children to keep secrets from the other parent.

He is making you the bad guy and undermining you.

comedycentral · 22/08/2024 11:26

OP he should have discussed it with you first & respected your wishes as a parent!

AnywhereAnyoneAnyTime · 22/08/2024 11:26

Get rid of it while they’re out. As you “don’t know about it” they won’t be able to say anything.

coffeenootropics · 22/08/2024 11:27

i will take a punt that this is just one issue amongst many in a fundamentally unhappy marriage?

worrisomeasset · 22/08/2024 11:28

Your DH is a complete and utter arsehole.

Moonshiners · 22/08/2024 11:28

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Ghastly people use the word Chav.

Original poster
PortaRoast · 22/08/2024 11:28

Gilbertwasawuss · 22/08/2024 11:25

Leave DH and they can use it at his house.

I despise parents who tell children to keep secrets from the other parent.

He is making you the bad guy and undermining you.

This is exactly how I feel. I've started this thread here because I wondered whether others would think I'm totally overreacting. The childish deviousness of DH has really upset me.

OP posts:
Edingril · 22/08/2024 11:28

Gilbertwasawuss · 22/08/2024 11:25

Leave DH and they can use it at his house.

I despise parents who tell children to keep secrets from the other parent.

He is making you the bad guy and undermining you.

Is the garage a secret?

Wahine24 · 22/08/2024 11:31

@PortaRoast If you know where the charger keys etc are, stick it on gumtree /Freecycle it will be gone before dinner ( delete your internet history!)

CatamaranViper · 22/08/2024 11:33

Edingril · 22/08/2024 11:28

Is the garage a secret?

Show quote history

Do you often go in places you have no need to just to check what's in there?

OP clearly says she has had no need to go in there so it's a great hiding spot.

Original poster
PortaRoast · 22/08/2024 11:37

Obviously it wouldn't have stayed a secret for long. I would have gone in the garage and found it sooner or later so I don't think there is a big conspiracy to keep it hidden. To me this just adds to the lack of respect shown to my opinions - no one cares.

OP posts:
Wahine24 · 22/08/2024 11:41

@PortaRoast can you move it to a friends house? Wait it out .Feign ignorance .

SmallTownWay · 22/08/2024 11:42

I wouldn't be happy if my partner was hiding things from me, or went against my wishes. Presumably the kids have been told by him not to tell you as well which I'd have a big problem with too.

Apart from that, where are they using them?

Our kids do have them but they only use them on our property. They've used them for years with no accidents.

SaintHonoria · 22/08/2024 11:44

Sorry I used the C word!

Those things are a ghastly menace and your husband is awful to buy it.

I would brazen it out and be the big meanie rather than lose all respect and secretly get rid of it and pretended you don't know what happened to it.

They will all know it's you.

Original poster
PortaRoast · 22/08/2024 11:46

SmallTownWay · 22/08/2024 11:42

I wouldn't be happy if my partner was hiding things from me, or went against my wishes. Presumably the kids have been told by him not to tell you as well which I'd have a big problem with too.

Apart from that, where are they using them?

Our kids do have them but they only use them on our property. They've used them for years with no accidents.

I know my 14 year old has been using it on the road. We don't have our own land.

I've just asked him about it and apparently DH told him it's fine as long as he is wearing a helmet.

OP posts:
Wahine24 · 22/08/2024 11:48

@PortaRoast Then bring it in the living room just propped in the corner , wait for your husband's response