Husband has secretly given kids an e-scooter

[PortaRoast]

The title says it all really. I found out from a friend last night that my kids have an e-scooter and that at least one of them has been using it while I'm at work. It turns out DH bought it for them on Saturday and decided not to tell me.

I've always said absolutely no to getting one because they're illegal to use on the road and (in my opinion) very dangerous for kids to be on. Our kids are 14 and 17.

If I put my foot down and make him get rid of it the kids will be upset with me, but I don't want to allow them to use it either. I don't know how to handle this and I'm absolutely furious that this has been done behind my back.

So, AIBU for being so angry with DH or is it no big deal and do I need to chill about it?

Sure tell them that, maybe the 17 year old might want to use it in an empty field for fun. I stand by what I said at 17 I'd already moved out the family home you cannot control them forever. People said everything that's been said on this thread about bicycles, you realise they're just as dangerous if not ridden properly.

It's different with the 14 year old though, there's a big maturity difference between 14 and 17. Another thing that hasn't been mentioned but is worth being aware of is a lot of drug dealers use electric scooters to get around so I'd just bear that in mind keep an eye on what your boys are doing

@Leah5678

you realise they're just as dangerous if not ridden properly.

no, we don’t “realise” that.

Because it’s patently untrue

Like motorcycles it’s not the motorcyclist but other drivers not clocking them.

Believe what you want bicycles are just as dangerous we teach our kids to ride them safely which makes them safer if an electric scooter was ridden safety there's no reason it would be more dangerous than a bike.
Like I said though a lot of drug dealers use electric scooters not bicycles and that's probably why there's a lot more accidents because of the type of people who typically use e scooters Vs bikes.

I used one of the city hire ones on holiday recently. Fell off, and chipped a bone in my knee as well as cuts and bruises everywhere. Felt very stupid and ashamed.
What do you think you're going to do?

The bottom line is that e-scooters are illegal to use on public roads and pavements in the UK. Unless your garden is big enough for your children to use it safely, its use is breaking the law. I don't know enough about legal matters to say who would be held responsible though. Incidentally, according to our local police, all this info is in the paperwork that your husband would have been given when he bought the thing. In the small print, probably.

Simple explain to husband and child if he gets caught it's 6 points for no insurance and 3 for not in accordance with a licence on a ghost licence before even passing his test. That means no driving a car at 17.... Banned before even being old enough to drive. Obviously that's unlikely as he's 14 but it spins it in a direction that's for his benefit

I duno I'm sort of on the fence. I think linking articles to accidents that have been caused by them is a bit disingenuous, plenty of people have been killed on push bikes.

I disagree with him getting them behind your back but I don't see why one parent can just completely veto something because they don't like it. Fwiw I don't love them either and it's never really come up in our house.

He shouldn't have got them behind your back but you can't just decide no one can have them because of your opinion.

Get rid of it. Don’t worry about being a fun mum. They are dangerous if they are using it on the road, not only from falling off, likely without a helmet but also because of other road users and a lack of knowledge of the high way code. From experience within my work, they are a serious injury waiting to happen. If you wouldn’t let them have a moped, don’t let them have one of these.

Then discuss with your husband why he feels the need to do this behind your back and is happy to put your children at risk?

Fine if people are using these to commute, when it’s legal, not fine when kids are whizzing around on them illegally causing a nuisance. The fact is your DH went behind your back, I’d be fuming. My DD used one her cousins had, and broke her wrist.

Agreed. I’d have gone to check, it was there, stuck it in my car, and taken it to the nearest police station and handed it in. I’d have asked if a PCSO can come and have a chat with my moron of a DH.

The fact he lied about it and went behind your back is what would wind me up but your kids aren't exactly little and the police will just take it off them if caught which is why I won't buy one , it would be a total waste of money .
What watt are we talking about aswell one that goes a sensible speed or a 1000w that can reach 30+mph

Also your son will be 18 soon and I hate to break it to you but you will have absolutely NO control over what he does or doesn't do or buy at that point .
Shocking I know allowing an adult to make their own decisions

My son is 14.

she doesn't have to. They have nowhere private to use them and using them in public places is illegal unless rented.

My friend’s son died on an e-scooter. She will never get over it. If you need to show them news articles to explain why they can’t have it. If they hate you for it, it won’t be for long. Can you get them something else to replace it - to soften the blow?

Ask your husband how he will feel if his kid gets injured or it gets confiscated?

these decisions should be made together but it’s hard to navigate as why does try e person who says no get to decide for everyone.
I think you now need to go down the route of riding safely for your kids and set some ground rules for use. Eg wearing something bright as the kids I see are in the dark, no lights and wearing black clothing. Practically invisible

They aren't dangerous as long as they're used properly - I guess if you've not brought your kids up right if they aren't sensible enough to use one correctly!

Has the friend seen them on it or have her kids told her that your kids have one and they want one too? Maybe kids don’t do that sort of thing these days but I used to tell my mum that friends had something when I hoped for one, my kids did the same. It did not work but we tried 😂

Kill joy. Sounds like a barrel in your house. Poor DH and kids.

The general consensus appears to be, steal it, hide it, break it, sell it and such. One even suggests selling it and keeping the money to by yourself "something nice".

I can see why you would be annoyed about it all and not want your children on these dangerous things but being a deceitful control freak is not going to do you any favours in the long run.

How about being a grown up and having a conversation with DH about why he felt the need to go behind your back and lie about it.

Well as long as your husband is prepared for your children to get a criminal record for:

Driving without a licence (the 17 year old might if he has a provisional licence)
Driving without insurance

Also if one of your children causes an accident who is liable to pay out the damages? Parents, as far as I know, are not liable for their children's damage unless they are negligent. Proving negligence when a parent has bought what is in effect a motor vehicle and let his child use it is a fairly easy task.

Do you have the odd £60 000 hanging around in case one of your children causes an accident?

OP Why not suggest to your husband you hand over the car keys? I'm sure he wouldn't consider it but the same laws apply to e-scooters.

www.south-wales.police.uk/police-forces/south-wales-police/areas/campaigns/campaigns/e-scooters-your-questions-answered/#:~:text=What%20happens%20if%20police%20stop,be%20liable%20to%20be%20prosecuted.

I would have photographed it. Sold it on Facebook marketplace. Dropped it off at the buyers house. Kept the cash. Feigned ignorance when dh mentioned it.