To miss my more youthful vulva

[OptimismvsRealism]

I did not expect this bit of ageing at all (esp as I don't have kids so nothing controversial has ever really happened down there)

But I miss it feeling moister and bouncier and just generally more resilient and upbeat

And I miss not needing to pee every half hour

And then when you do pee it feels like there's more to come

Feel quite bummed out (was going to do a front bum pun but decided too shudder) to contemplate the next four decades with a buzzkill down there

I know there's oestrogen but from asking around nothing ever really restores the pizazz

Enjoy your twenties and thirties!!

What age are you?

43 next month

It's been a growing issue for the last couple of years tho

I'm 40s and in menopause on hrt and suppositories. I can't say that there's any difference tbh.

What are the suppositories?

It's so disappointing

I also wonder how some women seem to embark on sexual odysseys at this age

They must have gotten luckier

I wonder if there is anything I can do with diet to perk things up

You know your pelvic floor weakens with age? Not just childbirth. Start pelvic floor exercises if you don't do them already.

And then, the hormonal changes you're probably going through explains the rest.

YANBU! And I miss not having a fat fanny.

Crikey. I'm 43 soon and was hoping that's more than a few years off.

Yeah but I don't think the muscle is the problem here it's the skin and connective tissues

Well it might be for you! I can't imagine my friends who are shagging their way through tinder are experiencing this. I want to want it but I don't want it. Miss the uncomplicated lust of youth.

Vagifem - but you can also get Ovestin which I think is better as it’s a cream that you can use internally and externally (it comes with an applicator you use to use it internally). Both are forms of low dose oestrogen.

Really hope the answer doesn't lie in quitting sugar, coffee and alcohol

Topical oestrogen.
Also since I started working out with weights I have a tighter external vulva.

Being overweight in the stomach area, fat upper pelvic area, the weight of the fat over time can push down on the vulval area and distort it. Gravity.

Vaginal estrogen can help with other symptoms, especially with the dryness. Google vaginal atrophy. It’s a good idea to tackle that now.

I keep meaning to get into weights! Do you use machines or free ones?

Sorry op:

"eating too much sugar can age your skin and body. Sugar causes a process called glycation, which occurs when sugar molecules attach to collagen and elastin proteins in your bloodstream. This damages the proteins, making them unable to support the skin's structure and elasticity."

Obviously depends how much you are eating.

Are you actually using Ovestin? (As I mentioned upthread in a reply). I’m 43 and it’s been really good for me. I have a lot of complex health issues and have to use it 3 times a week and externally as well but it’s made a big difference- and I also have bladder issues (interstitial cystitis) and it’s helped with wanting to pee non stop - we have oestrogen receptors in our bladder so it works on those too.

I keep meaning to get into weights! Do you use machines or free ones?

Caroline Girvan. She has an app but a ton of free stuff on youtube, her Iron series is a great starting point. It's free weights.

You can get cosmetic surgery if it really bothers you and you can get a whole new vulval Barbie makeover if you so desire. The whole shebang.

I'm with you OP! Although I'm about 10 years older.
Not sure the cream does much apart from vaguely make you feel like you've got thrush. I also bought this oil for the downstairs area that was being touted on Instagram. This is OK - it doesn't not work but I haven't thought it was transformational either.

But so far I haven't found anything that takes the downstairs back to what it was

I did not know this was going to happen. Great! Another thing to look forward to haha.

Or maybe they are experiencing the physical changes but don't care about them as much as you do... I am about your age and can't say I investigated or noticed. Things work as expected, still give me pleasure. What's the problem?
The fact the you feel differently when you pee is more of a worry and warrants a referral to gynae. The rest appears to be purely cosmetic and, unless you are planning to shag an 18 year old, I doubt anyone would care.

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt/vaginal-oestrogen/how-and-when-to-use-vaginal-oestrogen/

Vaginal oestrogen helps for sure. Drink loads of water too so you don’t get UTIs. Woohoo aging is great.