To miss my more youthful vulva

[OptimismvsRealism]

I did not expect this bit of ageing at all (esp as I don't have kids so nothing controversial has ever really happened down there)

But I miss it feeling moister and bouncier and just generally more resilient and upbeat

And I miss not needing to pee every half hour

And then when you do pee it feels like there's more to come

Feel quite bummed out (was going to do a front bum pun but decided too shudder) to contemplate the next four decades with a buzzkill down there

I’m 46and haven’t noticed this. Although I do noticed I pee more often but not every half hour.

Wow, what's your secret? lol.

I'm thinking the same. All the friends have the same issue, but just dont care.

I'm not even certain what the issue is? I think mine looks and feels very similar to how it used to at say 35, I'm 55 now. Its greyer I guess?
I don't know how you check the bounciness? Any ideas. I really want to check how bouncy mine is now.

I’m 465 and haven’t noticed this

hehe! what supplements are you taking as I want some

I'm 45. My flaps now blow in the breeze.

The problem is dry uncomfortable skin and, especially the week after I ovulate, it doesn't clean out well so develops thrush really easily (I've always been susceptible to thrush but now it's horrible great cotton wool-like balls of it accumulating blerg!)

Feels sensitive like skin with dermatitis does.

Maybe I'm unlucky. I can't honestly be arsed with sex atm. It's not a worried about how I look thing if there's one positive about relentless shagger ex it's that he left me with a very upbeat self image.

An older friend of mine once mentioned hyaluronic acid (filler) injections down there, and I thought to myself - what a load of patriarchal codswallop. But then... maybe she was onto something after all?...

I'm almost 55 and don't recognise this at all. I've had kids as well. Zero changes down below. 😳

I'm 48 with 2 kids and noticed over the last 5 years the change from plump, 'normal', bouncy, to now the lips feel all shrunken and papery. Like it's even harder to epilate because the skin gets caught in the epilator. It was absolutely fine up until about 44 and has been going downhill (no pun intended) ever since. Been on progesterone only since 42 and added oestrogel at 44. Been prescribed the ovestin vaginal oestrogen but been somehow wary of really inserting it and have dabbed it on the outside only like a debutante with a powder puff. I have noticed that the oestrogel in general seems to up my levels of oestrogen and does help. I still ovulate and it's OK around that time and the worst around my period. Like others I can't drink a coffee and then run. I follow the wonderful woman on Gusset Grippers and do exercises but it is definitely due to hormones. I plan to stay on HRT for ever as when I stop it I feel I'm going mad. I do loads of exercise and try to eat healthy, completely stopped alcohol 2 years ago, but I think none of this is the main thing, the main thing is simply that the hormones are not being pumped as they were. Hope you can get help and huge support to all of us. I mean FGS you just about get your periods settled as a teen. Then you have babies and all that horror. Then for about 5 minutes everything is ok but you're knackered. Then everything starts shrinking. So unfair!

Would it not be low progesterone that is contributing to your issue?
It's pro gestation so surely that means pro fertile/youth?

Is it VVA that you think you may have?

Umm no that's not how hormones work. It's oestrogen that impacts vaginal dryness and vulval skin thinning.

The thrush sounds more like theres something else going on. I don't know enough about thrush, but isnt it when your run down, like I get mouth ulcers and terrible eczema when I'm run down.
Worth a visit to a sexual health clinic or GP?

Amen to this, I'm 32 with one child and I had no idea it makes the outside of your vulva saggy!! It's horrid can't imagine how low things will drop with age 😭🙈

It's definitely thrush - that quintessential smell, texture, itch. I think hormone changes also change pH and that's why it happens (plus the absence of general clearout of yeasts).

Until I was 40 I used to wonder why people needed lube

Alas

I'm 55 and post menopausal. On hrt and use Vagifem.
But!! That horrible dry chaffing has been resolved with Hydromol. GP prescribed it with instructions to use often and liberally. It's fab, makes me much more comfortable and use it as soap too. Get the ointment rather than the cream. It's thick and greasy so a bit messy but such a relief.

Oh thanks!! Do you use it every day?

I had no vag problems at all in my 40s - all was fine and dandy and lust levels even higher than in my 30s

thdn turned 50 and fuuuuck. Dryness, endless itching, weeing all the time - fortunately I got on vagifem ovestin Abd testosterone which had helped an huge amount but it’s not the same. Thanks vaginal atrophy

not all women will experience vaginal atrophy the same way that not all women have an horrendous menopause or really bad PMS

I'm 62 and haven't noticed any difference in it. I have one child. Mind you I don't have a partner now and peed 3 times during the night.

Pelvic floor exercises are very tedious. Does being on top and doing all the work exercise the pelvic floor or is it totally different muscles used in each case?

Also coming up to your age and my desire for intimacy of any kind has completely gone. I’m maybe putting it down to the pill I take? It’s the mini pill. I’ve never had this pill before and since I started taking it(about 18 months) I just can’t be arsed with sex or being in a relationship. Very unlike me.
I don’t want to stop taking it though, because I haven’t had a period since taking it!
any suggestions to get my mojo back?

Thrush doesn't smell.

BV smells. I've had thrush most of my adult life and done 6mongh treatments for it too. Have you been tested? I get it so often my GP gives me home swabs to do.

It does smell! Not unpleasant. Like a mild beery/yeasty scent.

@Zebedee999 I try to make pelvic floor exercises more fun by, for example, if someone at work uses particular annoying cliches I do 5 or 10 clenches (10 for 'low hanging fruit' , or if I stop at a red light, or if I'm on a bus and the doors open and close, I open and close. Or even if I see a caravan on the motorway. It sounds so childish but any way these things can be gamified helps me..

I wouldn't care if I never had sex again except for the emotional connection side of things. I have a fair amount of sex because it's fun to be with someone you love but owww and also blerg. I would love if things picked up again - please could I at least have until I'm 45??