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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF Neigbour Using Hot Tub

425 replies

grandmabrown · 22/07/2024 17:10

Summer 2022 we suspect someone was using our garden while we were out as things began to move and on occasions the hot tub appeared used. We didn't think too much of it to be honest, with teenage children (who denied using it) things do often move and we were busy so didnt give it too much thought. Looking back now though that is when things started happening. Earlier in 2024 we went away and, upon return, a friend commented that she had popped round on her way past, nobody answered the door, she heard noises in the back garden and had come in through the side gate. There greeted by a family, using our hot tub and garden, who told her we had gone to X location and would be back on X date (both details correct), they were watching the house for us. When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime. We asked on this group and nobody had seen anything but one of the group members helped my husband to install security cameras and a ring doorbell and nothing has happened since.

Fast forward to now, my street-neighbour, lets call her Helen (as this is her name), and I have always been on a smile and wave basis. I only know her families names from the Christmas cards we send/receive. Recently Helen has been acting off towards me and I appear to be annoying her by existing. She will sigh if she sees me and I have caught her on more than one occasion glaring across at me and pointing at my house while talking. I have become sick of this and asked another neighbour, who I am friendly with, what was going on. Neutral neighbour seemed very awkward and said she didn't want to stir the pot or tell tales. Eventually she said Helen was annoyed at me as I had promised her use of my garden and hot tub for her sons birthday/end of term party but had revoked it and "caused a scene" about intruders, which she know was aimed at her, on the neighbourhood Whatsapp. Apparently the party was due to be when we are on holiday and I had said if she kept an eye on the house they could have full run of the garden but changed my mind, leaving her son with nowhere to host and all his friends thinking the party is going ahead. Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now. This is not true. At all. I have never had a conversation with her, let alone offered to host a party for her. I checked with DH & DC and nobody has spoken to them or said they can use our property to host.

I have a million questions for her but don't know where to start. Obviously I now believe they were the family using our garden and it explains how she knew locations and return dates of our holidays. I do not know how to approach this or what to ask. Surely they will deny it. But the outright lie she has told our neighbour is harder to deny. What do I do? There is no way they are using my garden but now I am also worried that, when we go away, our garden may be used. The cameras will alert us on our phones and we can ring the police but I would really rather not cause a neighbour dispute and end up down that route. I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me.

OP posts:
thereaheaveninahell · 22/07/2024 19:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

afrikat · 22/07/2024 19:17

Wow I would be fuming! Definitely agree with posting on the WhatsApp group to make it clear no one has permission to use your hot tub, and they never have...

Minimili · 22/07/2024 19:17

Have you gone to confront her OP?! Come back and tell us more…

Put in the WhatsApp group you are going away this weekend.

Stay at home and keep the curtains drawn and put your car in the garage or park it round the corner.

If Helen turns up with her posse then turn on your camera and film her, confront her and ask her who gave her permission?
If she says she was told she could use it then quiz her for answers, if she can’t give a reasonable explanation as to why she is trespassing (and I imagine that’s not possible) then tell her you are billing her for the electric.

Check your bills for how much extra electric was used when you were away and present her with a bill for that too.

Unfortunately it’s not a police matter, trespassing is civil, but you can take her to small claims for the energy usage. I’d be very tempted to do so as hot tubs aren’t exactly cheap to run! Have you checked your bills for high usage already?

Don’t let her get away with this, CF’s need to be held accountable and this is absolutely brazen, the fact she’s running you down to other people makes it especially cheeky!

Missm68 · 22/07/2024 19:21

My daughter had a lazy spa in her garden we was in Greece at the time and one of the neighbours rang us up to say gypsies was in it apparently they had permission and they was looking to get in the house.bloody cheeky if you ask me.

Minimili · 22/07/2024 19:21

BlimminCat · 22/07/2024 19:04

I thought my neighbours were CFs until I read this. Make sure you send her the electricity bill!
The random thought I have is, how was everyone using the toilet? And how would all of the party people have used the toilet at the party she was going to have in your garden? Was she nipping back and forth to her house with a towel on or were they peeing in your garden??

This is a very good point!

People with that much cheek would just be using the hot tub as a communal toilet then stewing in it 🤢.

Can you not get a lockable cover for them? I’m sure when we stayed at a holiday cottage that had one the owner came and unlocked and uncovered it. We had to wait for it to be warmed up too.

Sleepersausage · 22/07/2024 19:23

This is insane, why isn't it all locked up? How did she know when you were away and back? How could you not say anything!!

Dibbydoos · 22/07/2024 19:23

Id put it in the whatsapp and set the cat amongst the pigeons.

I'd say 'Just to clear things up....I knew someone has been using our hot tub and back garden from ....2022 but I could identify them. Anyone saying we have given permission to them is lying, we have not.

You and I both know who you are, so let me be clear, you will be seen. If you break in and enter our property to use our hot tub, you will be charged £300per hour. I suggest you get your own hot tub because it'll be cheaper.

What a CF.

LAMPS1 · 22/07/2024 19:24

Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now.

Helen, knowing she was likely to be busted when your friend popped round to find them in the garden using your hit tub, and knowing she it was getting even closer to her being busted when security paraphernalia went up, had to get her story in with neutral neighbour before you got your story out on WhatsApp. To keep face, she was forced to construct a little story whereby she was upset with you for letting her son down so badly for no reason. (Her audacity is mind blowing)
She will simply continue to call you a liar.
And it’s your word against hers.
Seems to me that neutral neighbour has been half convinced by Helen already and doesn’t know who to believe. So be very careful here.

Before you post anything else on WhatsApp, I think you and DH should go round, knock on the door and ask to have a polite word. Introduce yourselves properly. Something like …..’Hello, you don’t know us, we’ve never met properly before so I’m sorry to bother you but we live at number 53.’
After all it’s the first time you have had a conversation so endorse that fact strongly in your introduction.

Tell her something is bothering you both and there seems to have been a mix up somehow and you would like to get to the bottom of it and would she mind helping you out. Then ask her who it was that gave her permission to use your garden and hot tub while you were away.
Take it from there.
Be prepared for outright lies from her, or for having got the wrong house, or for the kids having arranged it.
Remain polite but assertive.
Once you know for sure if she’s just a fantasist liar or not, you can consider your next steps to clear your name in the neighbourhood.

Loloj · 22/07/2024 19:25

This is plain weird. There must be more to this. Why would anyone be so genuinely upset and angry if she didn’t think she had permission? Could there have been any kind of mis-understanding? Maybe you should pop over and have a friendly chat with her to clear up what has actually gone on here. She can’t be funny with you if you confront her in a friendly way. Could she have been given the wrong information from a family member/ crossed wires? It’s extremely bizarre behaviour otherwise. Firstly to use your hot tub then secondly to go on about you withdrawing consent to other neighbours!

TheCadoganArms · 22/07/2024 19:25

Order one of those little cheap kids paddling pools from amazon and get it delivered to her house.

Mexicola · 22/07/2024 19:25

Nothing useful to add! But this level of cheeky fuckery reminds me of Mexican house thief!

TidyDancer · 22/07/2024 19:27

MetaphorsBeWithYou · 22/07/2024 19:13

@TidyDancer @Princessbananahamock
Can somebody link the Mexican House Thief thread here? Just for the benefit of anyone who hasn’t seen it? It’s one of my favourite Mumsnet threads of all time and this thread has brought back memories.
I think that Helen the Hot Tub Thief thinks that she had permission. Like previous posters, I think that a husband or teenager may be involved.

I'm on the app so unfortunately can't link but it's in classics and the thread title is something like 'have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?' I think. I can't remember how far into it the story is but there's a few excellent reads in there along the way!

tuvamoodyson · 22/07/2024 19:28

BlimminCat · 22/07/2024 19:04

I thought my neighbours were CFs until I read this. Make sure you send her the electricity bill!
The random thought I have is, how was everyone using the toilet? And how would all of the party people have used the toilet at the party she was going to have in your garden? Was she nipping back and forth to her house with a towel on or were they peeing in your garden??

…or in the hot tub.

HappyWorkingMummy · 22/07/2024 19:29

WhatsApp message:

It's come to our attention that a neighbouring family have been using our garden and hot tub without our consent while we were holidaying/out of the house since 2022.

It has also come to our attention that the neighbouring family have possibly been misconstruing the situation to others as if they have permission to use our property and that we recently revoked this permission, causing an issue with a party they were going to throw on our property (without our knowledge or permission).

I wonder how this can be dealt with by NW so it doesn't happen again or to others?

Rosscameasdoody · 22/07/2024 19:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Nope. Hot tubs generally take between three and eight hours to heat up - but a lot of factors are responsible for the rate of heat. And if they’re connected to a heat pump a lot of time can be shaved off. They are also designed to be left on so that you’re not heating the water from scratch each time - which would be expensive. The water doesn’t go smelly or gross after a few days either. It’s treated with chemicals and if you look after the system properly the tub will only need draining and cleaning every 3 months or so, as long as it’s being regularly used. It’s only recommended to drain if you’re going away for more than around 4 weeks, as the water will be left standing and unused.

Ponderingwindow · 22/07/2024 19:34

Why go to the effort and expense of draining the hot tub when you could just figure out a way to add a lock to the cover?

MerryTealSnail · 22/07/2024 19:35

sorry, what does CF stand for?

ChishiyaBat · 22/07/2024 19:37

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

This is the perfect response. If you go&confront her directly she might try and twist what you say, whereas if you post in the WA group there is no way she can do that as everyone will have seen what you said.

fruitypancake · 22/07/2024 19:39

lol .. cheeky fucker

Peterbeardwy · 22/07/2024 19:40

Made up bollocks

Another2Cats · 22/07/2024 19:41

WearyAuldWumman · 22/07/2024 18:36

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW.

And "Eew!"

Sorry, I don't get that reference to "Flakes of Helen". Could you provide some context or a link?

Wetblanket78 · 22/07/2024 19:42

I'm sure you can get a lock for hot tubs. Would save you having to drain it. Turn off the heating just in case though. A cold hot tub isn't worth getting into and double padlock your garden gate as well. Some people will see something they want and help themselves to it. My older sister does this.

Bellyblueboy · 22/07/2024 19:45

There is an almost identical story to this on Reddit. An American family, a pool rather than a hot tub and a neighbour having parties when the owners went on their regular ‘vacation’. Annual vacation was cancelled and family became upset they couldn’t have their annual pool party.

It does make more sense with a pool - unless it is a huge hot tub it wouldn’t be much of a party!

Ohmydreams · 22/07/2024 19:47

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

100% do this.

What they are doing has to be one of the strangest things I have ever read