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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF Neigbour Using Hot Tub

425 replies

grandmabrown · 22/07/2024 17:10

Summer 2022 we suspect someone was using our garden while we were out as things began to move and on occasions the hot tub appeared used. We didn't think too much of it to be honest, with teenage children (who denied using it) things do often move and we were busy so didnt give it too much thought. Looking back now though that is when things started happening. Earlier in 2024 we went away and, upon return, a friend commented that she had popped round on her way past, nobody answered the door, she heard noises in the back garden and had come in through the side gate. There greeted by a family, using our hot tub and garden, who told her we had gone to X location and would be back on X date (both details correct), they were watching the house for us. When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime. We asked on this group and nobody had seen anything but one of the group members helped my husband to install security cameras and a ring doorbell and nothing has happened since.

Fast forward to now, my street-neighbour, lets call her Helen (as this is her name), and I have always been on a smile and wave basis. I only know her families names from the Christmas cards we send/receive. Recently Helen has been acting off towards me and I appear to be annoying her by existing. She will sigh if she sees me and I have caught her on more than one occasion glaring across at me and pointing at my house while talking. I have become sick of this and asked another neighbour, who I am friendly with, what was going on. Neutral neighbour seemed very awkward and said she didn't want to stir the pot or tell tales. Eventually she said Helen was annoyed at me as I had promised her use of my garden and hot tub for her sons birthday/end of term party but had revoked it and "caused a scene" about intruders, which she know was aimed at her, on the neighbourhood Whatsapp. Apparently the party was due to be when we are on holiday and I had said if she kept an eye on the house they could have full run of the garden but changed my mind, leaving her son with nowhere to host and all his friends thinking the party is going ahead. Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now. This is not true. At all. I have never had a conversation with her, let alone offered to host a party for her. I checked with DH & DC and nobody has spoken to them or said they can use our property to host.

I have a million questions for her but don't know where to start. Obviously I now believe they were the family using our garden and it explains how she knew locations and return dates of our holidays. I do not know how to approach this or what to ask. Surely they will deny it. But the outright lie she has told our neighbour is harder to deny. What do I do? There is no way they are using my garden but now I am also worried that, when we go away, our garden may be used. The cameras will alert us on our phones and we can ring the police but I would really rather not cause a neighbour dispute and end up down that route. I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me.

OP posts:
EkinAndDave · 22/07/2024 18:45

Bloody Helen & her mystery juice, lounging in your hot tub, thinking she’s the Queen of Sheba! 🤢

I do think a cheery WhatsApp message is the way forward…..

tuvamoodyson · 22/07/2024 18:46

Caroparo52 · 22/07/2024 18:01

What an insane story.
I'm with the invisible dye in the hot tub approach.... is it blue?
Please let us know

Scared Papa Smurf GIF by Nickelodeon

‘What makes you think I was in your hot tub?

Elle7 · 22/07/2024 18:49

LivingDeadGirlUK · 22/07/2024 18:41

I'd want to know what your useless next door neighbor's are doing while people are in your garden while you are away. Isn't that the point of neighborhood watch?

I’d rename the group neighbourhood (don’t) watch! 👀

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/07/2024 18:49

Fwiw, bit late now but I'd have told neutral neighbour there and then:

'these conversations have never happened, no prior arrangements were made with me or my DH I literally have no clue what Helen is referring to. The Whatsapp posts were made because we hadn't a clue who was using the hot-tub.'

And then I'd go round to Helens and ask her why on earth she thinks I'd ever offered, when did that conversation occur, who was present, because something weird is going on.

dublino · 22/07/2024 18:55

This is next level CFery

TidyDancer · 22/07/2024 18:56

Mexican house thief popped into my mind as well! You appear to have found the domestic version of that international cheeky fucker!

dapsnotplimsolls · 22/07/2024 18:57

Post in the WA group:

Helen, I'm going to need to see some receipts.

Floofydawg · 22/07/2024 18:59

This is way too crazy to bed real.

Nanny0gg · 22/07/2024 18:59

macaroniandcheeze · 22/07/2024 18:41

So if there are people on your property without permission, whether you’re there or not, the police won’t come and remove them? Seriously? That’s baffling.

Possible breaking and entering depending how they opened the gate?

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 22/07/2024 19:00

I'm actually speechless at this jaw dropping cheeky fuckery!!! 😱😱 my jaw will remain nailed to the floor is Helen living in cuckoo land, she's used your garden and hot tub without even asking, lied about it saying she had permission to and that you said she could throw her son a bloody party and is now pissed off at you because quite rightly you don't want strangers using your garden and hot tub whilst you're away! Fuck me this is cheekier than the mexican house thief cheeky fucker, Helen is the ultimate cheeky fucker for sure.

@grandmabrown I would be putting the neighbours straight for a start this CF needs to be shamed cheeky cow lying like that to make you look bad for her tresspassing and using your garden and hot tub without permission. I would also be knocking on her door and telling her you know its her (I'm sure your friend can point her out so your neighbour doesn't get a come back) who used your garden and hot tub and not to do it again. Then put up CCTV and check it regularly and if any of her and her family enter your property report them for tresspassing. Next time you go away OP leave a few traps in your garden nothing like stepping on a well hidden toy or two in barefeet it will serve the CF right, but then I'm an evil cow like that hence my user name 🤣🤣

Twilight7777 · 22/07/2024 19:00

SwirledIntoPoems · 22/07/2024 17:15

Could Helen's husband/partner/whoever have told her that you had given permission and so Helen believed they were using your hot tub with your knowledge and agreement the whole time? And then she thought your WhatsApp messages were a passive aggressive way to revoke that permission? It's so weird for her to have made up a narrative and to be angry with you if she is fully aware that you never agreed to let them use it!

Also wondering this too

TheSerenePinkOrca · 22/07/2024 19:00

I assume you told neutral neighbour that you'd never even spoken to Helen before, let alone agreed to her using your garden.

Install a lock on the gate, put CCTV up and put a sign on the hot tub saying "DO NOT USE - contains cleaning chemicals" when you go away.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/07/2024 19:02

samarrange · 22/07/2024 18:17

Re-reading the OP, is this a possible scenario?

  • Local kids - maybe Helen's, maybe not - knew about the hot tub in 2022 and decide to use it.
  • Word got around and Helen's kids suggested your hot tub as a venue for the party, possibly being a bit creative with the truth.
  • Helen trusts her DC a bit too much and thinks you reneged
  • Helen has actually never been in your hot tub and maybe didn't even know you had one until her DC came up with this story
This seems to me to require much less CFery on her part. Adults don't sneak into someone else's garden to use the hot tub but teenagers very well might. And for her to both use the hot tub and get snotty with you about the party would be double-plus-psycho-level CFery. Anything's possible, of course, but I'm trying to think of other plausible scenarios that would explain her attitude.

This is a good point. I would contact Helen directly.

3luckystars · 22/07/2024 19:03

This is an elaborate story set up by the neighbour you were talking to.
Helen is innocent and the ‘friendly’ neighbour is in fact the holiday hot tub hog. Dun dun dun.

Trust nobody.

BlimminCat · 22/07/2024 19:04

I thought my neighbours were CFs until I read this. Make sure you send her the electricity bill!
The random thought I have is, how was everyone using the toilet? And how would all of the party people have used the toilet at the party she was going to have in your garden? Was she nipping back and forth to her house with a towel on or were they peeing in your garden??

Mummapenguin20 · 22/07/2024 19:04

Wow

Mirandawrongs · 22/07/2024 19:05

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

This!

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 22/07/2024 19:05

TidyDancer · 22/07/2024 18:56

Mexican house thief popped into my mind as well! You appear to have found the domestic version of that international cheeky fucker!

I think the Hot Tub Cheeky Fucker tops Mexican House Thief CF, the OP barely knows her and never gave any permission in the first place not even as a one off like the OP did in Mexican House Thief there's another thread recently where the neighbour had been renting out the OP's father's holiday home for ages and when they said they were flying out CF said they can't as he's rented it out until next year! Christ wtf goes through these people's minds that their CF is acceptable 🙄

Mirabai · 22/07/2024 19:07

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

This.

Or say nothing go away and catch them red handed on CCTV.

Roryno · 22/07/2024 19:08

Put a WhatsApp message on the chat saying. “this is for the attention of the person that has been using our garden and our hot tub without permission while we have been away. I just want to say in public that we have never given permission and would especially never agree to a party being arranged in our garden while we were away! We have now installed cameras in the garden that will give us proof if this occurs again, and would take legal action. I don’t want to fall out with anyone so I won’t name names this time, but I am very upset about it.”

greenpolarbear · 22/07/2024 19:09

MumChp · 22/07/2024 17:20

Same story on FB this morning. They put (an invisible) dye in the water (harmless) and the neighbours were done.

Tbh just say no. Her party is not your problem. Make suse to cut the water to the spa then you go on holiday.

This is amazing, you could dye her green with envy.

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 22/07/2024 19:11

Roryno · 22/07/2024 19:08

Put a WhatsApp message on the chat saying. “this is for the attention of the person that has been using our garden and our hot tub without permission while we have been away. I just want to say in public that we have never given permission and would especially never agree to a party being arranged in our garden while we were away! We have now installed cameras in the garden that will give us proof if this occurs again, and would take legal action. I don’t want to fall out with anyone so I won’t name names this time, but I am very upset about it.”

Agree but leave out about the camera's and when they have the party call the police in to march them out for the street to see and shame them right up 🤣🤣

samarrange · 22/07/2024 19:12

BlimminCat · 22/07/2024 19:04

I thought my neighbours were CFs until I read this. Make sure you send her the electricity bill!
The random thought I have is, how was everyone using the toilet? And how would all of the party people have used the toilet at the party she was going to have in your garden? Was she nipping back and forth to her house with a towel on or were they peeing in your garden??

AIBU to imagine that they were letting go in the hot tub?

MetaphorsBeWithYou · 22/07/2024 19:13

@TidyDancer @Princessbananahamock
Can somebody link the Mexican House Thief thread here? Just for the benefit of anyone who hasn’t seen it? It’s one of my favourite Mumsnet threads of all time and this thread has brought back memories.
I think that Helen the Hot Tub Thief thinks that she had permission. Like previous posters, I think that a husband or teenager may be involved.

ButterCrackers · 22/07/2024 19:13

Write in the WhatsApp group that you have never allowed anyone other than your family to use your garden. You have alerted the police to the cf who used your garden whilst you were on holidays. You have not given permission for any parties or events or for anyone to use your property. You have informed the police of this matter. Someone locally is telling lies that you give them permission to hold events at your place but this is untrue. Cameras onto your garden and movement alert in place. Can you block on the outside all electric and water points?